My father BEATS me...

@Shavkat (137212)
Philippines
June 8, 2020 8:45pm CST
I cannot get over what had happened to my online kid student last night. I have this young boy aged 8 who is crying when having a class. As a concerned virtual teacher, I asked what's the matter and he comfortably told me that his father beat him. I realized that I am not only his teacher but a second parent to him. I let him burst into tears and never lose heart about this matter. How can we educate parents for being so violent to their kids? Image Credit: encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
14 people like this
17 responses
@Mike197602 (15487)
• United Kingdom
9 Jun 20
Personally I would not even try to educate I'd just report it to the authorities. Over here the law is quite plain...but not so plain "It is illegal for a parent or carer to smack their own child, except where it amounts to "reasonable punishment", according to section 58 of the Children Act 2004." The issue is with the word reasonable as that is open to interpretation. It essentially comes down to if you do damage...cuts or bruises or abrasions would be unreasonable. A red mark that disappears would probably be seen as reasonable punishment. Teachers, nursery people or others are not allowed to hit a kid full stop. So, in your case I'd maybe try to ask the kid what the beating entails and also you'd need to be aware of the laws of your place. BUT I'd always err on the side of caution and report any possible child abuse.
4 people like this
@Shavkat (137212)
• Philippines
9 Jun 20
@Mike197602 I am aware that it is not right. Even in my country, it is not allowed anymore. The sad thing is that the kid is in China. I am sure that they have different rules as compared to a democratic country.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (205637)
• Walnut Creek, California
9 Jun 20
Yeppers, as I mentioned in my comment, we have the same laws here. Are they are equally ambiguous at times.
1 person likes this
@youless (112103)
• Guangzhou, China
9 Jun 20
Some parents are violent. It is always wrong to beat a child. Is it possible for you to contact your student's mother?
2 people like this
@Shavkat (137212)
• Philippines
9 Jun 20
They do not mind at all. I think it is the country's culture.
1 person likes this
@youless (112103)
• Guangzhou, China
9 Jun 20
@Shavkat No, it is not true.
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (137212)
• Philippines
11 Jun 20
@youless I am glad that it is not.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (457925)
• Switzerland
9 Jun 20
I agree with Mike, you must inform the authorities.
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (137212)
• Philippines
10 Jun 20
I am not sure if Chinese authorities will listen to me.
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (137212)
• Philippines
11 Jun 20
@LadyDuck I sometimes have splitting headaches when seeing this kind of situation.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (457925)
• Switzerland
11 Jun 20
@Shavkat Poor boy, I thought that all countries had Social workers to take care of abused children.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (205637)
• Walnut Creek, California
9 Jun 20
Aren't you a "mandated reporter," or whatever the equivalent is in the Philippines? I am a teacher and a child psychologist. Here in the US we are required to report suspicion of abuse to Child Protective Services.
2 people like this
@Shavkat (137212)
• Philippines
9 Jun 20
@TheHorse In my country, we do abide by the children's rights. It is sad to say that this child is in China. I think his father is still practicing the old style of disciplining the child. I cannot do anything because it will be a ground for complaint against me.
@TheHorse (205637)
• Walnut Creek, California
9 Jun 20
@Mike197602 Any idea why they didn't want to help this kid?
1 person likes this
@Mike197602 (15487)
• United Kingdom
9 Jun 20
I worked in "social services" for a few years primarily in hospitals, ABI units and young homeless (16+) shelters. Tried to get into child services twice before being made aware of my unofficial blacklisting due to an incident in my young homeless place where I'd apparently gone OTT trying to stop a young very vulnerable 17 year old being pimped out. Now I'm in a hotel kitchen but there is a big and growing part of me that thinks after 15 years I may well take another shot at a job with kids.
2 people like this
@Hannihar (129391)
• Israel
12 Jun 20
@Shavkat That poor kid. He does not deserve that. Is there anyone that can do something about it to make sure it never happens again?
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (137212)
• Philippines
17 Jun 20
Sad to say, no one can help him. It has been many times that I had seen him like this. Even the mother cannot do anything.
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (137212)
• Philippines
17 Jun 20
@Hannihar I do not know how I can help him.
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (129391)
• Israel
17 Jun 20
@Shavkat So I would guess to say that the mother is afraid of her husband. Is there anyone at all can help him. That poor kid. Is there anyone outside of his home that can help me?
1 person likes this
9 Jun 20
The situation is quite challenging especially that you are a virtual Teacher. I would ask that you find out from the child if it's ok to talk about it in more details for you to understand what is going on. If possible engage the mother to avoid putting the child in more trouble.
2 people like this
@Shavkat (137212)
• Philippines
9 Jun 20
@Helikaputo I do not know if I can do that. Since they are living in another country and the culture is totally different from ours.
@TheHorse (205637)
• Walnut Creek, California
9 Jun 20
That's often an issue. Some parents will get very angry if a kid "tells" on them. But we're legally bound to report suspicions of abuse.
@lady1993 (27225)
• Philippines
9 Jun 20
that is very alarming, where does the kid live? Can you report it to anyone?
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (137212)
• Philippines
9 Jun 20
He is China. I believe it is in their culture.
@JudyEv (325651)
• Rockingham, Australia
9 Jun 20
There are some helpful comments. Are you obliged to report such things? It is good that he feels he can confide in you even if you are unable to do much about it.
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (137212)
• Philippines
9 Jun 20
We are not allowed to do it. I just ignore it. But I try to pacify him and other kids who have the same experience.
@ridingbet (66857)
• Philippines
10 Jun 20
how about reporting the incident to the proper authorities? but what is the nationality of your student?
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (137212)
• Philippines
10 Jun 20
It is impossible, Kabsat. This is a Chinese kid. I doubt if the Chinese authorities will listen to it.
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (137212)
• Philippines
14 Jun 20
@ridingbet In fact, the young ones do not like kung fu nowadays. They are 'sosyal' now.
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (66857)
• Philippines
13 Jun 20
@Shavkat hmm. that is why Chinese kids are taught the Kung Fu at an early age.
1 person likes this
• Agra, India
9 Jun 20
Did the father beat the child a lot?
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (137212)
• Philippines
9 Jun 20
This is the second time that I had seen him crying because of his father
1 person likes this
• Agra, India
9 Jun 20
@Shavkat you should talk to parents....talk to his mother
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (137212)
• Philippines
11 Jun 20
@amitkokiladitya I noticed that they are not open to this kind of concern. She just ignored the matter. Perhaps she's scared of her husband.
1 person likes this
@DocAndersen (54413)
• United States
9 Jun 20
i can tell you that once upon a time as a teacher I had to deal with that. it is a horrible situation I am so sorry.
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (137212)
• Philippines
9 Jun 20
It is really a bad feeling. I sometimes ignore it.
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (137212)
• Philippines
10 Jun 20
@DocAndersen I am sorry that there is no option like this.
@DocAndersen (54413)
• United States
9 Jun 20
@Shavkat honestly you should find out if you are in a reporter role you may need to report it.
1 person likes this
• Bosnia And Herzegovina
30 Jun 20
poor kid. i feel so sorry for him, but if that's online you can't do much except be a support to that kid. or maybe notify the company about it, you said the classes are being recorded, right?
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (137212)
• Philippines
1 Jul 20
The company does not care, my friend. Even if it is being recorded, they just don't care.
@Shavkat (137212)
• Philippines
2 Jul 20
@aureategloom My company's admin is not that good.
• Bosnia And Herzegovina
1 Jul 20
@Shavkat that's gross. then contact someone who does.
@jayanth_77 (7180)
• India
9 Jun 20
Parents must never beat small kids as it harms them both mentally and physically. You did the right thing by allowing the boy to express his feeling and feel better.
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (137212)
• Philippines
9 Jun 20
That's the only thing I can do. If I call his parents' attention, I will be in a bad situation.
1 person likes this
@Sathyabo (866)
12 Jun 20
Yes. It is not right to beat the kids. Instead parents give any other useful punishments like arrange their room on own, Do math on his own when kids committed any mistake. It is parents responsibility to teach their kids what is wrong and what is right.
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (137212)
• Philippines
17 Jun 20
How I wish they could do this. The sad part they cannot do it. Perhaps it is in their traditional way of disciplining.
1 person likes this
@Sathyabo (866)
17 Jun 20
@Shavkat Yes. It is traditional way of punishment. But most of the parents in this generation understand it.
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (137212)
• Philippines
17 Jun 20
@Sathyabo It is Chinese culture.
• Philippines
10 Jun 20
Good luck calling their authorities, not sure if they can do action on parental abuse. I feel they pressure the child too much to learn quickly, they clearly have no time for parenting. It's not acceptable culture in my book. We have that culture here too in some families.
@Nakitakona (56302)
• Philippines
11 Jun 20
Soon you will know what the role of a father if you have your own family.
@JimBo452020 (42629)
• United Kingdom
9 Jun 20
In Scotland it is against the law to punish children by smacking etc. Dont know what the law is there where you are. But you probably have a duty to report it to who ever is in charge of you. You could speak to his father yourself.