"I should take care of my man first" - really?
By Lena Kovadlo
@lovebuglena (52201)
Staten Island, New York
June 25, 2020 12:57pm CST
Sunday, hubby and I went to his parents' house for Father's Day. Hubby poured some sake shots for us and his brother. After that he did not refill my shot glass, so I did it myself. After pouring myself my first refill, closing the bottle and putting it back on the table his brother made a comment that I have to take care of my man first. I was gonna say something back to him for his comment but decided not to do that because I didn't wanna start anything.
Since I was refilling my glass perhaps I should have asked if hubby wanted another shot as his glass was empty when I was refilling mine. But at the same time, I think it's hubby who was supposed to ask me if I wanted more sake, not the other way around. Am I wrong?
7 people like this
8 responses
@lovebuglena (52201)
• Staten Island, New York
25 Jun 20
If my husband asks me to pour him a shot I will pour him a shot usually.
@lovebuglena (52201)
• Staten Island, New York
25 Jun 20
@kobesbuddy If he told me he didn't want anymore I would definitely not pour him one. There are times when he wants more but I do not pour him anymore because he has to drive later. In that case, he usually just pours it himself.
1 person likes this
@kobesbuddy (78833)
• East Tawas, Michigan
25 Jun 20
@lovebuglena Safe driving is more important, than a shot before leaving. You are right!
@lovebuglena (52201)
• Staten Island, New York
25 Jun 20
I do not know where he got the idea that I HAVE TO take care of my man first. If hubby had asked me to refill his shot glass I'd do it, unless I thought he had enough already...
2 people like this
@m_audrey6788 (58468)
• Germany
25 Jun 20
You`re right. He should`ve asked you first in the first place. He must be a gentleman 
1 person likes this
@lovebuglena (52201)
• Staten Island, New York
25 Jun 20
A gentleman would ask his lady first if she wanted another drink before getting his own or asking her to pour him one.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (382259)
• Rockingham, Australia
26 Jun 20
I think it is good manners for a man to look after his partner, even if they've been married for years. It doesn't bother me if I have to get my own drinks (married 48 years) but I certainly wouldn't feel obliged to get my husband's. Your BIL sounds pretty chauvinistic.
1 person likes this
@lovebuglena (52201)
• Staten Island, New York
26 Jun 20
I am not sure how he is with his girlfriend and I don't really care but I hope he doesn't tell her what he told me. He also vapes at the dinner table, which upsets me. Not only does he vape but he creates a big cloud of vapor when he exhales. No manners. Sunday, it took a lot to not snap at him and tell him to put that thing away. I really wanted to. I can't believe hubby or his parents said nothing.
1 person likes this
@kobesbuddy (78833)
• East Tawas, Michigan
25 Jun 20
I never take it for granted, that someone else wants something. If they asked, that's different. His brother is putting his nose in, where it doesn't belong. I've had snide remarks made before, it's best not to respond, good job!
1 person likes this
@lovebuglena (52201)
• Staten Island, New York
25 Jun 20
A lot of people do this—at least in our circle of Eastern European people (Belarus, Ukraine, Russia...)—where they see you have an empty shot glass and they automatically refill it. I do not like that. I think you have to ask first if they want another drink before refilling someone's glass.
@lovebuglena (52201)
• Staten Island, New York
25 Jun 20
I think it was not his place to make that comment. Whether I pour hubby a shot first (or at all) should not concern him.
1 person likes this
@kobesbuddy (78833)
• East Tawas, Michigan
25 Jun 20
@lovebuglena It was none of his da*n business, whether you did or didn't pour hubby a shot!
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (222527)
• United States
25 Jun 20
You probably could have asked if anyone wanted a refill; but his brother's comment was totally uncalled for. It's best that you didn't respond. It could have started a big argument at the table.
@lovebuglena (52201)
• Staten Island, New York
25 Jun 20
Yeah, that's why I kept my mouth shut. Now thinking about it, I am not sure if hubby's or his glass was empty or not when I was refilling mine...
1 person likes this
@Nakitakona (59987)
• Philippines
26 Jun 20
For us it doesn't matter who is talking or reminding since when we were drinking in the house with my family or in-laws.
@lovebuglena (52201)
• Staten Island, New York
26 Jun 20
Not sure what you mean.
1 person likes this
@Nakitakona (59987)
• Philippines
30 Jun 20
@lovebuglena You said you refill your glass instead of your hubby first as commented by your brother-in-law.
We never observe etiquette in drinking. We just fill our own empty glasses.
