Stubborn kid vs worlds former most stubborn kid

@shaggin (55166)
United States
October 28, 2020 4:19pm CST
My stepson is very stubborn. He takes medicine for ADHD. He also has Oppositional Defiance Disorder and without the medicine for the ADHD he is so defiant. When he takes his medicine for school days he is much more pleasant to be around. Virtual learning is not for him. He does the absolute minimal amount of work and doesn’t care if he fails. For weeks he sat at his house not doing any school work and his dad didn’t know. He was behind on 38 assignments. His father grounded him and sent him here daily to ensure he does his work. Well I noticed when checking his work that on khan academy he was just typing in anything failing the lessons and marking it as done. He needed to get 75% or greater per lesson so I told him he had to redo them. He refused and for maybe 4 days or more he has laid around not having tv or Xbox. Finally today he gave in and did the lessons. Worlds most stubborn former kid now mom wins this round. Photo is a neat building I saw recently in a cemetery while geocaching.
19 people like this
18 responses
@snowy22315 (101741)
• United States
28 Oct
He needs to learn to have some pride in his accomplishments, and to learn why it is important to do schoolwork. Maybe it seems unimportant to him, but it helps to make him a good citizen of the world, and somebody who knows what's going on.
3 people like this
@shaggin (55166)
• United States
29 Oct
@snowy22315 he just doesn't care about anything. It is frustrating as a parent.
@snowy22315 (101741)
• United States
29 Oct
@shaggin Not true..he cares about video games and TV apparently
2 people like this
@shaggin (55166)
• United States
29 Oct
@snowy22315 those are the only things which is why he lost them when he wouldn’t do his work.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (311536)
• Switzerland
29 Oct
Congratulations, you did a great job to teach to your stepson, I imagine that it has been hard.
2 people like this
@shaggin (55166)
• United States
29 Oct
@LadyDuck thank you. It has been difficult. I will be very glad when he is able to go full days and get a better education. He just does not do well with this home school stuff.
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (311536)
• Switzerland
29 Oct
@shaggin I think he needs to go to a class to be more focused, home schooling is not for him.
2 people like this
@shaggin (55166)
• United States
29 Oct
@LadyDuck I definitely agree. Hybrid is still going all through November. Not sure after that.
1 person likes this
@kaylachan (7255)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
28 Oct
Kids like that need constant monitoring and encouragement to keep them on the right track so that they stay up-to-date with their studies. Just try to be patient with him, and look up ways to help him and encourage him so the work doesn't become this chore he wants done as quickly as possible.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (55166)
• United States
28 Oct
@kaylachan with this hybrid model they are doing the days he isn’t in school he only has about 4 hours worth of work to do if that. Yesterday was only 1 hour. If that doesn’t motivate him being able to get it done way faster then an 8 hour school day I don’t know what will
2 people like this
@kaylachan (7255)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
29 Oct
For a kid with a normal brain, that would make a lot of sense. But with a kid with ADD/ADHD, getting them to focus on something for more than five minutes can be like pulling teeth.@shaggin
1 person likes this
@shaggin (55166)
• United States
29 Oct
@kaylachan that’s why he takes medicine and then he does good he just doesn’t want to have to do the work so he lies and says it’s done. I wasn’t medicated as a kid and teen and I feel like I learned nothing due to it. I couldn’t concentrate to learn anything. I’m glad he has medicine to take. When I first saw she didn’t do the 38 assignments he refused to do them and sat looking at the same screen for 3 hours before I said to just shut it off as it was wasting electricity to not do anything. He was just being stubborn. I think the ODD causes worse issues with him then the ADD.
2 people like this
@Tina30219 (59322)
• Onaway, Michigan
28 Oct
Stubborn kid is right . I would have took more than tv and Xbox away for him doing this.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (55166)
• United States
28 Oct
@Tina30219 there wasn’t really anything else here to do to take away though
1 person likes this
@Tina30219 (59322)
• Onaway, Michigan
28 Oct
@shaggin That sucks.
1 person likes this
@sallypup (41447)
• Moses Lake, Washington
29 Oct
@shaggin Chores? He could get busy and wash windows for instance. Maybe he is sitting too much.
1 person likes this
@just4him (226592)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
30 Oct
I'm glad you won and he's finally doing his lessons. Nice picture. I agree, it is a neat building.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (55166)
• United States
30 Oct
@just4him if I don’t keep after him his grades will keep dropping so I have to ignore what he tells me when he says he’s finished and look through his work to see if it’s done. Frustrating but luckily each day there isn’t much work to look through. He is still failing science class but the grade is coming up.
1 person likes this
@just4him (226592)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
30 Oct
@shaggin I'm glad the grade is coming up on science. It's good you're looking through it each day.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (55166)
• United States
30 Oct
@just4him his dad should have been checking from day 1 like I said to him but for some reason he trusted him and didn’t check for 3 weeks until he asked me to check it one day and we saw he was missing 38 assignments.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (34872)
• United States
29 Oct
Wow. Good motivation though
1 person likes this
@shaggin (55166)
• United States
29 Oct
@FayeHazel you mean by losing the Xbox and television etc forcing him to have nothing to do should motivate him?
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (34872)
• United States
29 Oct
@shaggin Yes, if those are the things he really likes, then I think he'd be motivated to get use them back by doing the schoolwork
1 person likes this
@shaggin (55166)
• United States
30 Oct
@FayeHazel even losing them it took him about 4 days to give in he sure is stubborn.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Oct
sounds's though he's been catered to quite a bit. glad ya stood firm, but such's not yer place.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (55166)
• United States
29 Oct
@crazyhorseladycx well he is my stepson and my husband doesn’t want him staying home during the day because he won’t do any work. If he is here with me with me as his guardian I am going to make sure he does what the teachers assign. If his father has a problem with it then he can let his son stay home and check his work at night when he gets home from work to see if it’s been done. I told him in September to do that but he never did instead when 3 weeks later he had me check his work I saw he had missed 38 assignments so this is the situation now with him coming here and me ensuring he does what he is supposed to.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Oct
@shaggin i'm so confused 't this point. does yer husband've custody 'f this young'un? if'n so, where 'tis he been stayin' 'lone whilst he works? i thought y'all lived together since yer married? his father 'tis responsible 'n should not've let such slide fer so long. no wonder said young'un 'tis defiant... i wish ya the best 'f luck 'n don't back down'n inch.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (55166)
• United States
30 Oct
@crazyhorseladycx we got married September 5th and went on our honeymoon for a week. He said he needed to give the land lord a months notice and that 3 weeks to clean out or houses to combine them wasn’t enough time so he couldn’t leave until November 1st. Then he called like two weeks back for a dumpster and it couldn’t arrive until after November so now he’s paying for another month to rent it just because of that. He had stayed home while his father works since he was 11. He knows how his son is so I don’t why he trusted him to do things without an adult around during this corona virus hybrid learning crap.
1 person likes this
@maximax8 (31157)
• United Kingdom
29 Oct
He needs to gain more self esteem. I think that it is best to catch him being good and reward him. I think he finds the school work challenging to do. I wish him a bright future.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (55166)
• United States
30 Oct
@maximax8 he doesn't find it challenging he can do it and get good grades he just doesn't want to. He finds it boring and doesn't think he will ever need this stuff in real life someday.
1 person likes this
@maximax8 (31157)
• United Kingdom
30 Oct
@shaggin Yes, he finds the work boring. Adding up, taking away and the mother tongue language are useful for adult life. My son is disabled and he finds times tables challenging to remember.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (55166)
• United States
30 Oct
@maximax8 I never could learn my times tables past 2.
1 person likes this
@sallypup (41447)
• Moses Lake, Washington
29 Oct
Wow. Is that for just one family, that building? Almost big enough to be a chapel. Sounds like the kiddo could use some counseling.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (55166)
• United States
29 Oct
@sallypup based on the little concrete carving on the left of it I think it is just for one family. It sure is pretty and large yes. I would love to see what is behind the doors. He used to go to counseling when he lived with his other but I don't think he has done it in many years. He just doesn't care about anything and there's nothing we can say or do that changes his mind. His lying bugs me the worst I cannot stand lies.
1 person likes this
@sallypup (41447)
• Moses Lake, Washington
29 Oct
@shaggin He does not care about anything but he plays video games? Find out what is on those games cause he cares about them.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (55166)
• United States
29 Oct
@sallypup he does care how he lies to people, he doesn't care if he goes days without showering, he doesn't care if he ruins his things or other people's things, he doesn't care about his grades or if his clothes are clean or if they are covered in stains or ripped.
1 person likes this
@cintol (11475)
• United States
1 Nov
I hear you on that, good job for getting him to do the work, sometimes you gotta be tough with them. We have two in this house with the same diagnosis of ADHD and ODD, they are definitely hard to deal with. We are hoping the youngest one will start on medication soon.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (55166)
• United States
1 Nov
@cintol he was god awful when he was younger and didn’t have medicine. He has grown much calmer now but the defiance is still bad without medicine and he can’t concentrate on his school work without it.
1 person likes this
@cintol (11475)
• United States
1 Nov
@shaggin I understand, my grand daughter was like that as well, she is on meds too and we know when she doesn't take them. Now we are going through it with the 6 yr old, her brother, that my daughter is adopting. At least we have a clue as to what to expect this time around.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (55166)
• United States
1 Nov
@cintol right that’s good to know what to do and how to prepare
1 person likes this
@DianneN (204006)
• United States
29 Oct
Happy he gave in and began his work. Cool building!
1 person likes this
@shaggin (55166)
• United States
29 Oct
@DianneN me to boy is it frustrating dealing with his stubbornness. He wasted days he could have been playing video games just to be so stubborn.
2 people like this
@JWMILLER (2963)
• Westmoreland, Tennessee
29 Oct
@shaggin Sometimes people do things that are not in there best interest.
@shaggin (55166)
• United States
29 Oct
@JWMILLER I was also that kind of kid but I had no effective punishment. I got beat and would go right back to doing what I was doing or not doing etc. I needed to have things taken away from me like going to play with my friends and television etc. My parents weren't very good with discipline.
1 person likes this
@rakski (69312)
• Philippines
28 Oct
Congratulations, you won!!! My son at times is very stubborn too. But I can still bribe him to do some things he hates. Last time we were videoing school works with his African mask on, at the Endo of the video he was crying already.
1 person likes this
@JWMILLER (2963)
• Westmoreland, Tennessee
29 Oct
Children can be difficult at times.
@shaggin (55166)
• United States
29 Oct
@JWMILLER yes very
1 person likes this
@rakski (69312)
• Philippines
30 Oct
@JWMILLER oh so so true
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (102409)
• United States
28 Oct
Cool building. Sounds like you have a job on your hands.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (55166)
• United States
28 Oct
@CarolDM yes very different then how my kids are with their schoolwork.
2 people like this
@JWMILLER (2963)
• Westmoreland, Tennessee
29 Oct
@shaggin Success with distance learning seems to depend a lot on children's personalities.
@shaggin (55166)
• United States
29 Oct
@JWMILLER yes for sure.
@Hannihar (106024)
• Israel
29 Oct
@shaggin I am glad that you got through to him in 4 days or more. Is he all caught of now?
1 person likes this
@shaggin (55166)
• United States
30 Oct
@Hannihar yep. He is still failing Science but hopefully now that he has his medicine and is doing his work his grade will improve. Last week it was a 22 this week it’s 50 so while failing it’s still improvement.
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (106024)
• Israel
30 Oct
@shaggin I hope the medicine will help his grades improve more and more.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (69851)
• United States
29 Oct
good, glad he's being punished for not doing his work. Alot of parents arent doing that and its a shame.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (55166)
• United States
29 Oct
@Courtlynn it's tough to deal with because my kids do all their work. I never have to check their work and make sure it's done they do it all on their own. It's very frustrating to me how bad my stepson lies.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (69851)
• United States
29 Oct
@shaggin its how he was raised unfortunately.
1 person likes this
@thelme55 (56483)
• Germany
28 Oct
I am glad he gave in and is working now on his school assignments.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (55166)
• United States
29 Oct
@thelme55 me too now I just have to check his assignments careful as he likes to say they are done when they aren't.
1 person likes this
@thelme55 (56483)
• Germany
29 Oct
@shaggin Yes, you have to check them.
1 person likes this
• Midland, Michigan
29 Oct
I was going to ask if you were the former stubborn kids but finally got that sentence. Well good for you for the win that is.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (55166)
• United States
30 Oct
@MarshaMusselman I was wild and so stubborn .
1 person likes this
@ricki_911 (21467)
• Toronto, Ontario
28 Oct
How old is he? I have ADHD and can be motivated with a routine. Sounds like he just needs someone to supervise him
1 person likes this
@shaggin (55166)
• United States
28 Oct
@ricki_911 he is 14. He made his own routine of sleeping playing video games and not doing school work lol. He lies and says everything is done then I check and see it’s not so he definitely needs supervision.?