Singlehood: "Are YOU married to your FAMILY?"

@Shavkat (141905)

Philippines

February 12, 2021 9:51am CST

I remembered my lovely granny aged 102 and will turn 103 this year. She keeps on nagging me to find Ms. Right and be married. I just said, 'I am married to my immediate family.' It means that I am open to being single forever and my idol is her son who is still single until now.

'Is it wrong to embrace singlehood?' Image Credit: e3.365dm.com

14 people like this

15 responses

@Janet357 (75638)

•

12 Feb 21

I think it is a blessing when you are single. You work and you love it. When I was 32, I told my dad, I would not marry because I was enjoying my life. My routine then was work and home and home and work. The following month, I met my husband

4 people like this

@Shavkat (141905)

• Philippines

13 Feb 21

I cannot tell the future. If Ms. Right comes along the way, I might change my mind and be married. I may feel weak and head over heels to a special someone. Then, I will just say, 'She's the lucky one.'

1 person likes this

@CarolDM (203396)

• Nashville, Tennessee

12 Feb 21

Life is all about personal choices. I will not judge your decisions.

3 people like this

@Shavkat (141905)

• Philippines

13 Feb 21

I appreciated that you are respecting my judgment about being single.

1 person likes this

@CarolDM (203396)

• Nashville, Tennessee

13 Feb 21

@much2say (57760)

• Los Angeles, California

12 Feb 21

It is a personal choice - not wrong at all. I have a few friends who never married - all for their own reasons - and they say they are perfectly fine and happy with that.

2 people like this

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@much2say (57760)

• Los Angeles, California

13 Feb 21

@Shavkat One of my friends is about 65 years old. She never married and says she never wanted to. She didn't want to feel "stuck" with someone and their ways - she says she is quite happy doing whatever she wants on her own time.

1 person likes this

@Shavkat (141905)

• Philippines

13 Feb 21

I had met some people who are still not married up to this day. Some of them wished only to have a child and nothing to do with their partners. It is a choice to attain happiness in their lives.

1 person likes this

@much2say (57760)

• Los Angeles, California

13 Feb 21

@Shavkat You are a good son. But I do think you could still take good care of your family no matter which path you choose because you are just that way

.

1 person likes this

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@DaddyEvil (174707)

• United States

12 Feb 21

I've been married twice and divorced twice. I don't want to do that again. Sometimes, being married is okay... it gives you someone to talk to/with when you want, someone to go places with and sometimes, someone to snuggle with, when she's in the mood to snuggle. *sigh* And that last is part of the problem of being married. Everything hinges on the other person being in a receptive mood. That can get tiring real fast. I like being single. I don't have to answer to anyone else although, Pretty sometimes asks me when I'll be home... I don't have to ask anyone if it's okay to spend my money and I don't have to worry about someone else paying their share of the bills. (All the bills are mine to pay. *shrug* Pretty doesn't make enough to ask her to help me with paying them, which is okay with me.)

1 person likes this

@Shavkat (141905)

• Philippines

13 Feb 21

At some point, I was just wishing to have my own child without a wife around. Which I think is far more convenient than being committed to someone. The only thing that needs to be carried on is to be a responsible father to my child. This aspiration is not that easy to be attained. I personally think that you are fine with being single again. At least, you have Pretty and she can rely on you anytime and the same thing to her.

1 person likes this

@Shavkat (141905)

• Philippines

13 Feb 21

@DaddyEvil In my country, the culture is intact. My younger siblings and their children will take good care of me if I grow old. That's the reason why I am not that worried. It is only in Asian countries that do this. We do not have institutions that can take good care of the elders here. I believed that there are so many facilities like this in your country, right?

1 person likes this

@DaddyEvil (174707)

• United States

13 Feb 21

@Shavkat Before I got married, I always just wanted a child without the wife. It took me several years and a lot of money, but I ended up with what I wanted. Think hard before you do this, though. What would you do if/when your child got married? Most times they will leave you. Then you're alone for the rest of your life. (I don't know what I'd do if Pretty leaves.)

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@JudyEv (382566)

• Rockingham, Australia

13 Feb 21

There is nothing wrong with being single. It's a pity if people harp on about it - but it's okay for your granny to do it.

3 people like this

@Shavkat (141905)

• Philippines

13 Feb 21

Granny is a groovy one and she always laughs when I am saying this to her.

3 people like this

@freelancermariagrace (29342)

• Philippines

13 Feb 21

There's nothing wrong with it. If you're happy being single then so be it

1 person likes this

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@Shavkat (141905)

• Philippines

16 Feb 21

@freelancermariagrace Cheers!

1 person likes this

@Shavkat (141905)

• Philippines

14 Feb 21

Indeed. I am not closing my door to marriage. As for now, I am embracing singlehood.

1 person likes this

@freelancermariagrace (29342)

• Philippines

16 Feb 21

@Shavkat Yes to singlehood!

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@May2k8 (19793)

• Indonesia

13 Feb 21

That's more true than getting married just because you were forced.

1 person likes this

@Shavkat (141905)

• Philippines

13 Feb 21

It is not a good idea to be forced of getting married. Sad to say, it is still happening in a real-life setting.

1 person likes this

@prinzcy (32299)

• Malaysia

13 Feb 21

Mom used to nag me to get married and start a family. I guess she realized how stubborn I am by now. If I want to get married, I'll get married. If I don't, that's my choice too.

1 person likes this

@Shavkat (141905)

• Philippines

13 Feb 21

I am sure your mom accepted the fact that you do not want to get married. In China, I had talked with women who chose careers than getting maried. For traditional parents of theirs, they always nag them about it. That's the reason why they do not want to go home to their hometowns.

1 person likes this

@vandana7 (102698)

• India

12 Feb 21

Honestly, it depends upon your thinking and ability to adjust. For a long time I too wanted to marry. But situation was such I could not. I realized my need to marry was because everybody was asking me to, and it seemed "normal" thing to do. Hell, the other side of fence held no appeal for me. I like kids, but crying about in-laws, struggling with job and household...I am tardy so I thought this will not work out. Before I knew I got too old by local standards. LOL. Then started harassment adopt me, adopt my child, or write your properties to me what do you need it for. Now that was insulting and hurtful. I admit after such teasing I do get into mood to marry. But it does not seem fair on the incoming person. I have health issues. It would be selfish and egoistic. Right? Moreover, I may be very difficult to adjust to.

1 person likes this

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@vandana7 (102698)

• India

13 Feb 21

@Shavkat I am not sure it is fear of failure. Just that I don't feel up to it. I should be wearing a placard..."Not marriage material". LOL

1 person likes this

@Shavkat (141905)

• Philippines

13 Feb 21

@vandana7 I guess I need to have that, too.

1 person likes this

@Shavkat (141905)

• Philippines

13 Feb 21

I can feel you with this matter. The old folks are so traditional and still thinking that marriage is an important thing in people's lives. My biological parents are not pushy when it comes to this idea, which I am feeling lucky not to be pressured. Most of my friends were married and some of them were separated. As I had seen this situation, I am in doubt about marriage. Eventually, I am starting to brush it off to be committed forever.

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@allknowing (153529)

• India

13 Feb 21

To each their own. Everyone has the right to be happy married or single.

1 person likes this

@Shavkat (141905)

• Philippines

13 Feb 21

Either, single or not. The most important thing is to find true happiness from within.

1 person likes this

@Shiva49 (28397)

• Singapore

13 Feb 21

I think nowadays it is better left to the individual choice. Your granny is obviously old school and may not know how times have changed with regard to marriage. Some may not be quite looking forward to it.

1 person likes this

@Shavkat (141905)

• Philippines

14 Feb 21

She seems traditional with this idea. At some point, she can understand my situation with the immediate family.

1 person likes this

@Rashnag (30597)

• Surat, India

12 Feb 21

It's a choice and I don't think there is anything wrong in it. Have a good day. Take care

1 person likes this

@Shavkat (141905)

• Philippines

13 Feb 21

I agree. I do not have a low opinion about it.

1 person likes this

@Rashnag (30597)

• Surat, India

13 Feb 21

@Shavkat ok dear

didik wijanarko

@Babale (1874)

• Semarang, Indonesia

13 Feb 21

I think there is nothing wrong with being single, than getting married but being unfaithful to your partner and having an affair. I am still single until now.

1 person likes this

@Shavkat (141905)

• Philippines

13 Feb 21

I agree. It is better to be sure of getting married. If not, cheating will be the end of the marriage.

1 person likes this

@rhuenz (10680)

•

12 Feb 21

So your granny aged 103 is till alive?wow! Well your family is so lucky of you .... If that's your choice.

1 person likes this

@Shavkat (141905)

• Philippines

13 Feb 21

Yes, she is still alive and kicking. I always wish her in good shape.

As of this moment, I can see myself being single forever.

1 person likes this

@Shavkat (141905)

• Philippines

13 Feb 21

@rhuenz Some people had said that it is convenient to be single. I hope you can meet her. When she reached a hundred-year-old, she and an old man were on the front page of Inquirer in our country.

@rhuenz (10680)

•

13 Feb 21

@Shavkat wow really..amazing. I am shock ..never saw 100 years all my life. She's blessed to reached that age. If you're happy with that,to be single forever ..well carry on.Actually single is better.

1 person likes this

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@marlina (154103)

• Canada

12 Feb 21

Everyone should do as it is best fit for them

1 person likes this

@Shavkat (141905)

• Philippines

13 Feb 21

It is a matter of choice and the most important thing is that they found happiness for being one.