Old age home room I selected for me..

@vandana7 (79604)
India
February 23, 2021 10:06am CST
I know this sounds weird. But I believe in keeping me prepared. I am unmarried, and right now my parent is with me. After him, I need to find a place where somebody will check on me if I get sick and feed me when I don't feel like cooking and manage the cleaning laundry etc. without me following up. I don't need much. Never did. Dad is a great one for large homes, large things. So here is the room I liked for my old age. There are two beds, but I will be replacing one with a couch. And there will be a work table too. I wish I could add more slides out here to show the inbuilt cupboards decent washroom. Of course, I fear whether I will be abused.The reason I liked this room is, it won't be easy for care givers to abuse as it is ground floor, and there will be somebody or the other around. Even so, I am expecting a few friends and colleagues to call me now and then to check whether I am being abused. My take is, many kids abuse their parents, neglect them, throw them out. So it is not a great deal not having anybody. Do you have plans for your old age?
23 people like this
23 responses
@akalinus (35517)
• United States
23 Feb
I am already there. I live in a park but have a lot of trouble keeping the place up. I should have applied somewhere else a long time ago. The waiting lists for affordable housing are years long. My son keeps saying he wants to get me out of here but nothing ever happens.
6 people like this
@vandana7 (79604)
• India
23 Feb
Keeping up a place is tough. I know. I have investment properties. When did you decide to go in the park and what exactly is this park. Why is there no management body to maintain the place. The place I selected I will not have to do anything except bathe, and feed myself and go to loo myself.
3 people like this
@akalinus (35517)
• United States
23 Feb
@vandana7 Yes, we do have people working here to upkeep the grounds. It is a trailer park. It is the inside of my place that is falling apart. I need new faucets in the kitchen and bathroom. I need to fix some windows. The electric is funky. I can't run anything else if the heater is on. Some wood is rotting in here because of the high humidity. The list just keeps getting longer. My husband used to fix things but he is gone.
3 people like this
@vandana7 (79604)
• India
23 Feb
@akalinus So sorry.. Hope something that is to your liking comes up soon.
2 people like this
@louievill (27529)
• Philippines
23 Feb
I think you are very wise and practical I take care of my 88 year old mother together with my wife and all my children. My plans? I plan to accumulate a lot of money and assets so that I could live on the interest alone until my last day in case I reach ripe old age and not depend on anyone I trust my children but it's whom they marry that I have no control over, good if they are as kind, loving and understanding like my wife lol!
4 people like this
@vandana7 (79604)
• India
23 Feb
Interest rates have moved south steadily out here. So depending upon interest is not what I hope to do. I am contemplating surrendering one of my investment properties upfront to this old age home. They need some monies to set up facility for sick and bed ridden elderly. I would be handing over my property for all my future expenses so that I am not worried about financial part anymore.
2 people like this
@louievill (27529)
• Philippines
23 Feb
@vandana7 true when it comes to traditional banks where interest rates have gone negative , I think blockchain tech, cryptocurrency especially bitcoins would be the game changers now that mass adoption is imminent. From 3k March last year bitcoin surged to 58,000 dollars a few days ago and currently trades at 48,000. Regulated Crypto banks and lending platforms are now offering 4 to 8 % PA, in just a few years traditional finance as we know it would soon be replaced with a new system with COVID speeding up things as a catalyst. Even paypal has already embraced crypto. Maybe things like small properties for rent, non fiat correlated assets ( to avoid inflation)like gold and silver could be added to the general plan of growing old. Yes nothing beats living a modest lifestyle and being content with basic comforts, maybe we will find out if I am right just a few years from now.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (79604)
• India
23 Feb
@louievill Properties for rent also become a headache. The tenant vacates, delays rent, then there are repairs, etc. They are best, if a family member is gonna run around doing the needful.
2 people like this
@akalinus (35517)
• United States
23 Feb
It looks so sterile and unexciting. I do hope that there is something to do at that home so you see other people and do interesting things. I am sure you will make it more like home.
4 people like this
@vandana7 (79604)
• India
23 Feb
It is unexciting for sure. :) But the real joy for me outside. Lots of area to walk and some games, and gardening. For now, it is vacant so it is looking like that. Later on it will look more lively I hope. Here are the cupboards. And you can imagine vacant wall where I can have a table and even cooking area, if I want to make something for me.
2 people like this
@akalinus (35517)
• United States
23 Feb
@vandana7 I am sure that you will make it lovely and inviting. The outside sounds like a great place to be. I hope you will be happy there when the time comes.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (79604)
• India
23 Feb
@akalinus I am not an indoor person. So for me that would be quite worthwhile. :)
2 people like this
@rebelann (82053)
• El Paso, Texas
24 Feb
I hope to die in here but not until I'm in my 90s, mom lived to be 99 so I think that could be reasonable.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (79604)
• India
24 Feb
So who will be there to help you should you need some help? Will kids be around with you or at a distance from you - I mean.
1 person likes this
@rebelann (82053)
• El Paso, Texas
24 Feb
I have no kids @vandana7 Like you I never married and did not wish to have children that I could not afford to take proper care of
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (79604)
• India
24 Feb
@rebelann Then will somebody check on you? I had a bad bout of Urinary Tract Infection, dad went to doctor and got me medicine..that bad. I could not lie down, or sit or stand straight..was in acute pain. He took me to doctor. I depend upon him so much. At our age we cannot say what will strike us when.
1 person likes this
@arunima25 (54566)
• Bangalore, India
23 Feb
I won't call it weird but rather a wise planning thereThe place looks decent. We are in 40s. Husband is very close to 50 and we often talk about our old age planning now.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (79604)
• India
23 Feb
You think so? I am so glad. :) I liked it because of it being in secluded place with fewer social activities. Every morning and evening Sai bhajan, which also people are welcome to avoid if they do not believe in him. Outside two large lawns with seating arrangements. Walking trail. Some place to play badminton. Kitchen and dining are decent too. For roughly 15000 pm I am fine with living alone in such a room.
1 person likes this
@arunima25 (54566)
• Bangalore, India
24 Feb
@vandana7 It's quite decent and affordable. We would love to have such place. Husband keeps talking about some Nana Nani house... it's a gated property for elderly. Not sure where it is. I guess in Pondicherry. But there you have to buy a property. This one is better..renting out. Where is it??
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (79604)
• India
24 Feb
@arunima25 Shamirpet, Hyderabad. But mind you no social activities. I like it like that. Too much socializing means unnecessary politics which I hate. Where are you basically from? In Rajasthan there is Ashiana at Bhiwadi, Lavasa, and Jaipur, you might want to check net on where you can take on rent. I am suggesting other options for you because you would have your food preferences. Here, I will get local preparations. That one has facilities for bed ridden folks as well. In Patiala there is another as North Indians you will be able to adjust to Punjabi foods better. Heavenly Palace. This one is expensive. In Bangalore there is Anandam, and a branch in Kodaikanal where you can get on rent if you can adjust to different food. Wherever you go watch out for a. Not too much stuff that will be difficult to keep track of. b. Whichever real estate properties you have acquired over a period should be nearby so any rent collections or maintenance should be easy. c. Food served should be to your tastes; d. Medical facilities - 24 hours doctor should be there and so also hospitals. e. Climate suitability f. Language comfort g. PROXIMITY TO YOUR KIDS - they should be able to contact you check on you so that you are not abused h. Facilities like laundry, ironing, library, tv and internet connection, walking trail, etc. i. Your spiritual inclinations and compatibility with the group j. Exercises like yoga and other things K. COSTS. There should be no mandatory purchase as resale becomes difficult. L. Does it have facility to take care of bed ridden folks. M. Environment and security. Phew..the list. You all still have a long time and new facilities will come up by then. But you need to check various facilities to confirm so that you can expand that list as per your needs and tick mark which one will fit.
Wondering where to begin your senior living experience in Bhiwadi (near Delhi)? No one champions quality of life for seniors like Ashiana Utsav! So what is i...
1 person likes this
@TheSojourner (31016)
• United States
23 Feb
I have plans (in process of) down-scaling. I do not plan on moving from where I am just yet. I've often thought I will die here. I just want to make sure there isn't too much to leave behind for someone to be burdened with hauling out.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (79604)
• India
23 Feb
My dad is a hoarder. The first step I will be taking will be shifting my clothes and personal effects to that place. Thereafter, clearing the house, then repairing it, and letting it out. I shouldn't be thinking as if dad is no more. But it is kinda weighing. Longest living family member (blood relative) - lived for 88 years, and dad is almost 87. So kinda nervous. I could go too. Just that not thinking about it at all may overwhelm me. Clearing up is an issue. I sure understand that. Don't die Coral. I would want to be in touch with you till end.
2 people like this
• United States
23 Feb
@vandana7 I am not planning on it, vanny, but reality is what it is. I know that. I am noticing some changes that give me cause for concern. I'll do my best to wait for you. ;-)
2 people like this
@vandana7 (79604)
• India
23 Feb
@TheSojourner We will go together...you will save me from sharks. You said so. I am banking on you.
2 people like this
@thelme55 (64152)
• Germany
24 Feb
It is good that you are prepared when that time comes. I hope you will not be abused. I don't have a plan yet for my old age.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (79604)
• India
24 Feb
You are much too young to start thinking about it. LOL. I started looking for them seriously around 55. LOL
1 person likes this
@thelme55 (64152)
• Germany
24 Feb
@vandana7 I think we are of the same age.
@vandana7 (79604)
• India
24 Feb
@thelme55 You look and sound much younger. Put you in late thirties or early forties.
1 person likes this
@psanasangma (5140)
• India
24 Feb
I am in the mid-30s and unmarried. I am not sure that I will ever be interested in married life or not.. as of now. Big No. Your selected room looks nice and comfortable. I Hope, you will get a good person as a caretaker We can't guarantee children how and when they will change their mind. Once I was in Mathura, after fieldwork, I accompany a colleague to visit a temple, after seeing all the old people near the temples I could not believe how some of them were sent by their own children and abandoned. Whenever I remembered, it saddened me till date.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (79604)
• India
24 Feb
You are much too young to decide that. Hopefully love finds you and you lead a happy and fulfilled life. Care givers ..well, that will come later I suppose. For now, it is simple living. Without care giver cost is 15000 INR pm, with care giver 27000. Single person. Sharing costs come down to almost half. But there are much cheaper options too. There is Aadhar near Vapi. It is quite cheap and decent. Yes, children cannot be relied upon these days. Part of the problem is created by us. They have a tough life ahead of them. Jobs are hard to find and keep. They have to keep upgrading skills lest they become redundant. That said, not all children get caught in the rat race.
1 person likes this
• India
25 Feb
@vandana7, it will be like companion or house mate in case if it happen. Simple living and minimalist living are the best choice. This looks expensive, I assume, facilities are properly provided and comfortable. Stay safe and healthy
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (79604)
• India
25 Feb
@psanasangma Oh I have no choice but to stay here as my friends and colleagues who will eventually check on me live here. It is a tad expensive no doubt. But there are old age homes that are offering everything for just 3000 pm. In my city air conditioner is necessary for 4 months. So that is the reason it is expensive. Otherwise, charges would be less. If you want to check for cheaper accommodation, there is aadhar near Vapi near Mumbai and Gujarat. They charge just 3000 inr pm.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (219651)
• United States
27 Feb
It's never to soon to make plans. I would prefer to stay in my home with homecare or croak in the hospital. We have two sons that will make sure we have the best care. Our burial arrangements have already been made.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (79604)
• India
28 Feb
I remember your post long ago, about arranging for burial. I think that is the one that made me look for such things in earnest. I was searching for some, but there were always somethings that did not fit the bill. This one has everything that I want. It is simple. No excessive social gathering no excessive and timely prayer hours. Here people presume that all elderly would like to be praying to god a lot. LOL. And they also presume that we miss company. In fact, I like my privacy. So prior to that post from you, I was feeling weird that I am looking for old age homes, but when you looked for burial place, I thought, there are folks like me, so it is pretty normal thing. I am right to look for a place to stay in old age. Thank you Dianne for putting my mind at ease. Hugs.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (219651)
• United States
1 Mar
@vandana7 I’m so flattered I was able to give you ideas. I’m sure you have made a very wise decision.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (79604)
• India
1 Mar
@DianneN You gave me guts to do so, Dianne. Folks here think it is weird to be looking for something so well in advance. Even I thought of me as weird. LOL. That is why I was not visiting any. But this one I visited personally and everything fit so perfectly.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (63558)
• United Kingdom
23 Feb
I have quite a large home but I will only be leaving here feet first!. I hope I never need care but if I do I will pay someone to look after me here. I have two wonderful children and they wouldn't let me suffer anyway. I admire your forward thinking though.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (79604)
• India
23 Feb
I know you love gardening. :) You would not fit in anywhere. This place appealed to me because there are large lawns on both sides. Walking place. Kitchen garden, orchard. I cannot afford such pleasures. :) Paying some one to look after is fine if kids are around. My situation is a tad different. If I ask someone to look after me, there would be nobody to monitor them. You brought up your kids well. :) Thank you. I have to. Dad will be 87 soon. The longest surviving blood relative lived for 88 years. While my dad still looks good for 10 more years, I cannot take chances.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (63558)
• United Kingdom
23 Feb
@vandana7 I hope your father lives for a few more years, but you are right to be practical by planning for when he is no longer here.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (79604)
• India
23 Feb
@jaboUK Thank you for wishing that. :)
1 person likes this
@Fleura (14033)
• United Kingdom
23 Feb
You are right, sometimes your own children are not the best carers, you do read some horror stories! I've also found (in friends and relatives) that old age is something that seems to happen suddenly. You stay 'middle-aged' for years and years, getting along fine, and then suddenly something happens and you find yourself unable to cope.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (79604)
• India
23 Feb
That is the reason I have found this place. I will be paying approximately 15000 INR i.e., near about 200 dollars per month. Additional 150 will take care of my medicals and cosmetics. Cool I think. I agree it is a short term arrangement only. Kinda .. till I am bed ridden. They will then shift me elsewhere and my bill will be 500 dollars per month including care giver's services. I need to be prepared. I see so many caught off guard. I am not fine with any stranger staying in my room. My househelp offered, but the thought of her and her family in my home made me feel quite vulnerable. Kinda they would be dictating terms and I could be at their mercy. I would be also cut off from friends which is not what I want. So this seemed better alternative to staying where I am now.
1 person likes this
@Fleura (14033)
• United Kingdom
23 Feb
@vandana7 You are very organised. And look on the bright side; you may never become bedridden. Many people are quite active until the end.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (79604)
• India
23 Feb
@Fleura Thank you. Yes I hope for bright side too. :)
1 person likes this
@much2say (47161)
• Los Angeles, California
23 Feb
Planning ahead is always good. We hope to be at home for as long as we can - staying self sufficient and healthy as much as possible. Senior homes are very, very expensive here.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (79604)
• India
24 Feb
Here to some are extremely expensive.
1 person likes this
@much2say (47161)
• Los Angeles, California
24 Feb
@vandana7 You would not believe the kind of place my mother in law is in. Honestly, she should not even be there, but that is a long story. It is extravagant . . . they say it's like being on a cruise . . . but you bet it costs a pretty penny.
@LindaOHio (58506)
• United States
23 Feb
We want to stay in our home as long as possible; but when that's no longer possible, we will go to a senior community. We will need to really downsize a lot to do that. I have been working on downsizing for years; but we still have a lot to go. It's good that you're thinking ahead.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (79604)
• India
23 Feb
Downsizing is a pain. First round makes us feel, we cannot do without this. Then second round, and third round. :) I have manage to sort out my clothing so far. Now I have to manage footwear. Then books, and documents. Small gadgets. :) Some old age necessities like hot water bags, knee caps, ankle caps, sleeves, waist bands..etc. Medical kit basically.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (58506)
• United States
23 Feb
@vandana7 Yes, we have accumulated a ton of stuff during our 50-year marriage.
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (117932)
• Nashville, Tennessee
23 Feb
Good to know you have a place to be comfortable. I hope to be here in my home when the time comes.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (79604)
• India
24 Feb
Will there be anybody around to check on you and help you with your needs?
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (117932)
• Nashville, Tennessee
24 Feb
@vandana7 Hopefully my husband, other than that I will be on my own.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (326668)
• Switzerland
23 Feb
It looks a bit depressing. Yes, I have a plan, the local nursery home is very pretty, but if I am not sick I would prefer a small apartment with services included. There are places like that here, you live in a 2 (or 3) room apartment, you can cook or have the food delivered to your apartment, there are doctors and nurses who come to check you, but you are independent.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (79604)
• India
23 Feb
Can you share the details? Like how they look and how much they cost per month. This place I selected is run by a qualified doctor so that added to my confidence.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (326668)
• Switzerland
23 Feb
@vandana7 I give you the link of one of those retirement homes. We have more than one place here, but more or less they are all similar. The price depends on what you need, Switzerland is not a cheap country, I think that the minimum is around $2,000 per month.
https://www.rivabella.ch/en/
1 person likes this
@sol_cee (26440)
• Philippines
24 Feb
Not weird. It’s our culture here to take care of our elderly parents but my husband said we shouldn’t depend on our kids as they have their own lives.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (79604)
• India
24 Feb
Our culture needs to change. Kids these days have it tough. While they have the gadgets and facilities, unlike what we had, they also have lot of competition to cope with and the need to constantly update themselves. Expecting traditional attention will actually cause a dent on their careers, and in turn disturb their retirement planning. I agree with your husband, kids need that chance.
@wolfgirl569 (36770)
• Marion, Ohio
24 Feb
I plan on being that grumpy old woman that everyone wants to abuse but is afraid to
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (79604)
• India
24 Feb
I saw one of those abuse links on YouTube and for a while I did get scared. LOL
1 person likes this
@xFiacre (9009)
• Ireland
23 Feb
@vandana7 You do well to plan ahead.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (79604)
• India
23 Feb
Thank you. :)
@MALUSE (64390)
• Germany
23 Feb
I hope you are allowed to give it a personal touch. As it is, it looks like a prison cell.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (79604)
• India
23 Feb
LOL.. No..it is not..it is quite open outside ..large grounds and large lawns walking trail. Yes, we are allowed to give personal touch.. but you made me laugh. LOL
25 Feb
I like this place
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