No One Cares – Is it so?
By Shiva
@Shiva49 (26273)
Singapore
March 9, 2021 11:44am CST
This is one of the thoughts that repeat the most perhaps. We crave for attention and feel neglected at times. Then I think what am I doing to deserve such caring and attention.
A child gets attention but over time it dries up. Maybe, we resent attention from parents during our growing up years but seek from others. We feel the need to fly the coop to explore the world as a part of growing up. This is a fact of life for all species, sort of inbuilt in our system.
But then why we feel that the world does not care. Is it a fact of life? I have thought about it from time to time and come to the conclusion:
1. When we take the initiative, we get returns. When we care for others, our actions are reciprocated.
2. Many want to be left alone and constant attention can be resented. That in way is caring too by respecting our privacy.
3. When we are busy working, it may not matter but when we retire from active life a sense of desolateness creeps in. I console myself that I am with the vast majority and cannot expect special treatment.
4. I recall when I was young I was not comfortable to open conversation with the older generation as our priorities were different. So let me leave the busy brood alone to their own comfort zones while I should feel comfortable in my own company!
Loneliness is tough to live with but when we are comfortable with each stage of life, then every phase should be par for the course. I tend to grin and bear it when the push comes to shove.
Do you also feel at times no one really cares? Even if they do care, they are only pretending.
Image: Caring from Pexels
12 people like this
12 responses
@DianneN (247205)
• United States
9 Mar 21
Perhaps no one really cared when I worked, but my family truly cares the most about me and some close longtime friends. As social as I am, I do prefer my alone time. To be honest, I have never felt lonely, but I have felt left out at times.
I’ve never been happier since my retirement.
2 people like this
@Shiva49 (26273)
• Singapore
10 Mar 21
I am in good company but I tend to seek "me alone time" more.
I can be alone without feeling lonely.
I too am retired and with constant activities that are varied I enjoy this stage of my life.
When one is as busy as you are it is tough to find time to work and I am not far behind you in this regard.
However, I have seen a few lost as they struggle to adjust post retirement and when health becomes an issue. And then the loss of loved ones changes our lifestyle overnight.
Wish you many more years of happiness
1 person likes this
@RebeccasFarm (87034)
• United States
11 Mar 21
Yes it is a pity we do not have the wisdom in youth.
2 people like this
@RitzzView (2994)
• India
11 Mar 21
Yes, I feel that way(lonely and no one cred about me). But it wasn't just feeling. It was reality for most people in my life.
1st point is not true for me. I initiated, people waited for me to initiate more. No reciprocation. Give and take sometimes is just films- fiction, fantasy.
3rd point is an eye opener. Activity distracts us, let it be work or hobby.
2 people like this
@innertalks (21246)
• Australia
10 Mar 21
I guess that we have to ask the obvious question here:
What is caring, and does anybody really care for anyone else?
Caring, as we might think, centres itself around love, and true love always cares, and is compassionately thoughtful for others, and their interactiveness with ourselves.
Caring comes from seeing our self in the other person, and then loving them for being a part of God too.
All should be cared for in some way, as a don't care attitude is a non-loving one too.
@innertalks (21246)
• Australia
10 Mar 21
@Shiva49 Even I have that thought already, that my best days are behind me, and will never come to me again......except as a past memory, that is.....of which, the days might be numbered too, if my memory falls off, as well. ...LOL...
@Shiva49 (26273)
• Singapore
10 Mar 21
@innertalks Yes Steve, age plays a big part too how we feel about life and its meaning.
We become less active especially in countries where one gets left behind without a support system in place.
I see around me some lost in their thoughts with a sense of acceptance that their best days are behind them.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60716)
• Perth, Australia
12 Mar 21
@Shiva49 This is just my personal view on this question as everyone is different. I believe that we can sometimes feel lonely or not cared for because we can have a lot of people in our lives who make us believe this. Well, either a lot of people or a small group of people who let us down a lot.
Whether it's not intentional, or it truly is due to lack of respect, lack of caring, lack of empathy for others etc, sometimes people don't put in any effort to see if their friend of family member are ok, or ask if they need help, or act grateful for what that friend / family member has done for them. I think that when this behaviour happens over and over again, it can make one feel used, useless, not loved or cared for and dig themselves into a hole of loneliness and confusion of why their kindness is being treated in a horrible manner instead of a loving and positive manner.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60716)
• Perth, Australia
20 Mar 21
@Shiva49 All very true and good examples about this subject.
1 person likes this
@Shiva49 (26273)
• Singapore
12 Mar 21
Yes, love and compassion we all yearn for with a feeling of being wanted.
When I was working, I was busy with work related and family issues, so I did not have much time to reflect and ponder about some basics that make us a family and society. Then when we go out of the way to help others, we would expect a bit of appreciation too.
I am independent and live with my wife who is also into her own activities, we are fine However, there is a feeling of disconnect with society at times. When I was working, I was available for any help and even went out of the way. Still I do. Looking around me, I get a feeling some are in their own world with a feeling that the world has left them by. Generally, they bottle up their feelings but a sense of distress is palpable.
Thankfully, there are safety nets but some fall through them too sadly.
1 person likes this
@dgobucks226 (34606)
•
13 Mar 21
Quite a number of various interesting perspective there. I agree that when we engage with others we receive so much in return. Especially from an emotional perspective one feels better.
Yes, at times privacy is a welcome distraction.
When we believe we have lost our sense of purpose a loneliness and even desperation can consume us. Keeping and being busy through work or other activity fulfills that need.
As far as caring for others I think we oftentimes become self-absorbed in our own life's problems. So supporting others gets usurped in dealing with our own needs. But most care and will offer help when asked. We may just have to reach out when in need of support.
1 person likes this
@Shiva49 (26273)
• Singapore
14 Mar 21
Thanks for your thoughtful response.
Mostly it depends on us as people do not want to be intrusive too.
In some societies, people tend to withdraw into a shell and that feeds upon itself.
To feel involved and have a meaningful life especially in old age is a struggle for many.
1 person likes this
@gamayngbaki (1602)
• Cebu, Philippines
13 Mar 21
I'm used to living alone even when I'm in the company of other people. I learned not to expect any attention from others probably because of some painful experience I had from expecting too much.
1 person likes this
@Shiva49 (26273)
• Singapore
13 Mar 21
Experiences leave their mark.
Having no expectations insures us from such hurts.
The reality changes as we age.
When we are busy working we have no time to reflect on life in general but as we age, and after we are retired, hurts and being ignored become a festering wound.
I recall one in an Elder Care Home, lost in his thoughts, confiding to me that his only son wanted money to start a business. He parted with his life savings but soon his son's visits became rare.
Yes, we need to be wordily wise too but for some loneliness is heartbreaking.
1 person likes this
@Shiva49 (26273)
• Singapore
14 Mar 21
@gamayngbaki That shows the human side of us which is lacking in busy lives.
We need to strike a balance so that we remain human and loving.
Otherwise we are just machines without feelings.
@gamayngbaki (1602)
• Cebu, Philippines
14 Mar 21
@Shiva49 Yes so true I agree! I remember when i was still very small we used visit our grandparents in our ancestral hometown. The joy in their faces is very evident when they see us arriving but when it's time to leave and go back to the city ... tears begin to flow. It was a heart breaking experience and memory.
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