My Poppy is in Palliative Care....
@VivaLaDani13 (60314)
Perth, Australia
May 1, 2021 4:59am CST
I've not spoken all that much about my Poppy regarding his dementia. Only here and there with some MyLotters as it's a tough subject. We are very thankful that he remembers all of us perfectly. But he has been through awful stages with it and now it seems he is at his last stage.
I cannot tell you how hard it is typing this. I'm crying my eyes out as anyone would during a time like this. I had a hard time accepting my Poppy ever had dementia when the first signs were showing but over time I accepted it.
He has had many falls due to random black outs but really recently my Nanny found him in his chair passed out. Ambulance was called, Poppy was there for about 3 days, he came home but is now back there again. I don't wish to give some personal details as I feel bad. I know you'd all understand but I feel awful saying certain things.
And now he is in Palliative Care. He isn't eating or drinking much. He is very skinny. The doctors have said "he is going downhill fast." I have accepted this. But doesn't stop the ache in what I know is coming. I'm feeling awful for everyone in my family but of course more for my dad (as it's his father) and my Nanny (her husband).
I think we are seeing him tomorrow. But only one person at a time due to some Covid restrictions right now. It will be hard but I know I need / want to see him. 
Thank you for reading. I just needed to get it off my chest as I've been mostly quiet about it.
Thank you for reading. I just needed to get it off my chest as I've been mostly quiet about it.29 people like this
29 responses
@mildredtabitha (16052)
• Nairobi, Kenya
1 May 21
I'm really sorry about your experience with your poppy. Is poppy a name?
7 people like this
@mildredtabitha (16052)
• Nairobi, Kenya
1 May 21
@myklj999 thanks for explaining that JJ.
6 people like this
@mildredtabitha (16052)
• Nairobi, Kenya
3 May 21
@VivaLaDani13 you are welcomed my friend
1 person likes this
@DocAndersen (54413)
• United States
1 May 21
This is what my wife does. She is a hospice social worker. She would tell you, reach out to the group providing care, they should have a social worker who can talk to you. you are not alone!
4 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60314)
• Perth, Australia
2 May 21
@DocAndersen Your wife is an angel. Such a hard job to do so I imagine she has a caring, sympathetic and empathetic heart. I believe my Nanny has done something about getting help. I am not sure yet what is going on though. Unfortunately, there is nothing I can personally do.
As for something for me, thank you for the suggestion. 
Very appreciated!
Very appreciated!2 people like this
@DocAndersen (54413)
• United States
3 May 21
@VivaLaDani13 It is not easy when we have to acknowledge things may not last long. Even worse when it is the people we care about.
Chin up! Smile to the world! But we have your back!
2 people like this
@popciclecold (35084)
• United States
1 May 21
I hate you are going through this. I completely understand, as my mother had it. Its heartbreaking, I know.
4 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60314)
• Perth, Australia
2 May 21
@popciclecold Thank you very much for your comment. I'm sorry to know about your mother. It's so tough.
1 person likes this
@m_audrey6788 (58485)
• Germany
1 May 21
I understand what you`re feeling right now. It is normal. I think I will cry too if that happens to my grandfather but I don`t have anymore a grandfather and grandmother. They are all in heaven. 
I hope you`ll feel better soon
I hope you`ll feel better soon 4 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60314)
• Perth, Australia
2 May 21
@m_audrey6788 I'm sorry your grandparents are no longer around.
Thank you very much for your comment.
Thank you very much for your comment. 2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60314)
• Perth, Australia
2 May 21
@msdivkar Thank you very kindly. 
Much appreciated. You take care too.
Much appreciated. You take care too.2 people like this
@Prabhatsingh (3537)
• India
1 May 21
So sorry to hear about this.
We will remember him in our prayers.
4 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60314)
• Perth, Australia
2 May 21
@Prabhatsingh Thank you very kindly.
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60314)
• Perth, Australia
2 May 21
@marlina Thank you so very much. Your comment is very much appreciated and makes me happy to feel safe talking about it here and getting all the support from everyone here including yourself. Thank you so much!
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (457967)
• Switzerland
3 May 21
@VivaLaDani13 Take care Danielle, I know how much you get stressed because you love your Poppy and you love your Dad.
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60314)
• Perth, Australia
2 May 21
@LadyDuck Thank you so very much for being here, as always and showing such care and support. It means more than I can ever explain. Thank you so much!
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60314)
• Perth, Australia
3 May 21
@LadyDuck Thank you so very very much.
1 person likes this
@just4him (305981)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
3 May 21
@VivaLaDani13 You're welcome.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60314)
• Perth, Australia
2 May 21
@just4him Thank you so very much!
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60314)
• Perth, Australia
2 May 21
@ZedSmart Thank you so very much for your beautiful and supportive comment.
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60314)
• Perth, Australia
2 May 21
@CarolDM Your comment made me tear up. You're such a caring person and I thank you SO much for all the times you've been here during times when I needed people the most. Thank you so very much for doing the same during this difficult time too. Means a lot!
2 people like this
@CarolDM (203454)
• Nashville, Tennessee
2 May 21
@VivaLaDani13 I am so glad I could help you in some small way. I know the pain you are dealing with. No thanks required my friend.
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60314)
• Perth, Australia
2 May 21
@Nevena83 I didn't say this at the time, but while we were talking, I was Googling some things. And though you didn't know this, I want to thank you because some things you were saying, though upsetting, actually pushed me to learn some more about dementia which also helped me to accept this a bit more.
Thank you very much for that and for your comment here.
2 people like this
@Nevena83 (65282)
• Serbia
3 May 21
@VivaLaDani13 Oh, no need to thank me. I know they are, but over the years I have had the opportunity to see various situations and I know that often some people, when they feel that they are over or when they can no longer fight, consciously try to end those torments.
And you have to know that he will never die, he will always live as long as you remember him and talk about him.
2 people like this
@rsa101 (37942)
• Philippines
3 May 21
So sorry to hear this from you. It has been made even difficult because of this pandemic that makes us freely visit our sick love ones. I hope and pray that you can still be able to see him and do what you want to say and feel about what is happening for your poppy.
I hope and pray that you can still be able to see him and do what you want to say and feel about what is happening for your poppy.1 person likes this
@rsa101 (37942)
• Philippines
5 May 21
@VivaLaDani13 I guess the best that you can do is be with him all the time as much as possible. I know he knows how much you care and love him. Continue praying as miracles happen for those that believe in it.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60314)
• Perth, Australia
4 May 21
@rsa101 Thank you so very much for your beautiful and caring comment. It means so much to me.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60314)
• Perth, Australia
5 May 21
@rsa101 Sadly, I have still been unable to see him. I am not religious so I don't pray. I already know the path this is all going to take and no praying will fix this but thank you, I respect your answer.
My dad got to see him today but my Poppy was too weak and just kept falling asleep.
I am not religious so I don't pray. I already know the path this is all going to take and no praying will fix this but thank you, I respect your answer.
My dad got to see him today but my Poppy was too weak and just kept falling asleep.1 person likes this
@Shavkat (137214)
• Philippines
6 May 21
@VivaLaDani13 I am sorry. I thought it was your dad. I lost my grandads many years ago.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60314)
• Perth, Australia
7 May 21
@Shavkat No worries at all. For some reason most people keep thinking I'm talking about my dad. I've very sorry about your granddad.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60314)
• Perth, Australia
3 May 21
@Shavkat Thank you very much for your comment. I'm so sorry about your dad. Though, I have to clarify, it's not my dad with this illness, it is my Poppy (grandfather).
I really appreciate your comment a lot, thank you so much!
1 person likes this
@RebeccasFarm (86750)
• United States
1 May 21
What words for this sadness so sorry Dani2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60314)
• Perth, Australia
2 May 21
@RebeccasFarm Thank you for reading and being here. It means a lot to me! You've always been so supportive, thank you.
You've always been so supportive, thank you.2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60314)
• Perth, Australia
24 May 21
@Sojourn I'm terribly sorry for the loss of your mum! I lost my mum when I was 16 and it's very difficult. I empathise and sympathise with you.
Thank you so much for your kind and supportive words. Means a lot!
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60314)
• Perth, Australia
1 Jun 21
@Sojourn I'm so sorry for my mistake. For some reason I read it as "mom" instead of "grandmom." Truly sorry for that.
1 person likes this
@Sojourn (13836)
• India
25 May 21
@VivaLaDani13 Well it was my grandmom, not my mom.
1 person likes this
@Treborika (17255)
• Mombasa, Kenya
3 Feb 23
I wish him a quick recovery and that he gets well so soon
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60314)
• Perth, Australia
4 Feb 23
@Treborika Thank you very kindly. He is doing alright.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60314)
• Perth, Australia
5 Feb 23
@Treborika You are kind to say but I'm afraid he will not understand what I am talking about. And sadly, he will not remember either. We just like to keep things simple for him. Thank you kindly though, that was nice.
1 person likes this
@Treborika (17255)
• Mombasa, Kenya
5 Feb 23
@VivaLaDani13 Pass my greetings to him then
1 person likes this
