Could I forgive someone who hurt me?

China
August 20, 2021 8:49pm CST
My friends, how are you? It has some times that I didn't come mylot, hope you are doing very well. One of my friends did some something to hurt me, I don't know If I should forgive him, and I don't know how to going on, could you please give me some suggestions will be much appreciated? Thank you very much.
6 people like this
8 responses
@pumpkinjam (8286)
• United Kingdom
21 Aug 21
Whether you forgive your friend depends on what he's done, whether he's done it before, if he has apologised/realised he's upset you. Some things are easier to forgive than others. If your friend has wronged you on multiple occasions then I would be less inclined to forgive even for a minor error. Perhaps forgive him for your own sake, but think about whether you still want a friendship with him. You can forgive someone for things without having to keep them close.
1 person likes this
• United Kingdom
22 Aug 21
@bettydeng5 if it was a misunderstanding then you should forgive. Perhaps explain to your friend why you were upset.
1 person likes this
• China
22 Aug 21
Thank you so much,I tried to communicate with him today, and I told why I was so upset,now he understanded something now,hope we don't have misunderstanding again.
1 person likes this
• China
21 Aug 21
Thank you for your reply.Actually it was a small thing that I told to him, but he was angry for me, he made a misunderstanding of me, he thought I couldn't do that and couldn't to talk anything with other, he thought I was fool and did wrong thing, however I thought I didn't talk any complex topic, now we destroyed our relationship, I always help him when he had some problems, then I found him who are private, and spoke something to hurt my feelings.Today he sent message to me,I don't want to reply any words,I need he realized I was so angry and don't want to be hurted again.Do you think what I can do?
1 person likes this
@sjvg1976 (40272)
• Delhi, India
21 Aug 21
It's not always easy to forgive someone who did badly for you. Still from your post, it's not clear what he did. It depends on the person if he/she can forgive a person. For a few, it's not easy and for some it's easy. I always find it easy to forgive people. I always believe in forgive and forget.
1 person likes this
• China
21 Aug 21
Thank you Sanjeev, I am sorry I couldn't describe the story which happened, it was so long that I really don't know how to describe it, however I found that I couldn't get the same requirement when I paid more after that, which it made me understand whom person you can treat carefully, whom person you can disregard it.
1 person likes this
• China
22 Aug 21
Thank you,my mood get better now,yes,the experience of life taught us how to be stronger and brave~
@sjvg1976 (40272)
• Delhi, India
21 Aug 21
@bettydeng5 experiences make us careful next time. It happens, sometimes our eyes open when we are deceived or cheated.
1 person likes this
@ShyBear88 (56309)
• Sterling, Virginia
21 Aug 21
I’m doing well, sorry that your friend hurt your feelings. When it comes to forgiving people it depends on what they did to hurt my feelings or what they done.
• China
21 Aug 21
He made some misunderstand something of me, and he talked something to hurt my feelings, now I don't want to explain anything to him, and I don't want to talk any words to him, I am so sad that I did so many things for him, but as a result, all everything I did which lost any meaningful, so I am so sad and disappointment for him, because he didn't understand me and understand my feelings.
@ShyBear88 (56309)
• Sterling, Virginia
21 Aug 21
@bettydeng5 I don’t understand what really happened only because it’s hard to for you to translate what might have happened. Form what I gathered is you said something to your friend and that friend didn’t understand what you meant. So then they friend said it I’m guessing to some other people that knew you? When someone hurts your feelings or says something that isn’t true you have to tell them. Not telling them is only allowing them to tell there side of the story and not all sides of the story. Not telling someone how you feel because you mad or upset doesn’t fix or solve things. You don’t have to forgive if it’s to hard to forgive but some motherly advise is you should let them know why your mad, what they did wrong? You don’t have to continue being friends but your cutting ties or burning a bridge in a clear way Vs just leaving things as is.
1 person likes this
• China
21 Aug 21
Thank you so much, I made an explain when we made a misunderstanding after that, however it got so complexed when I explained, it was not useful for him, he thought I made a wrong thing.
@prashu228 (37208)
• India
21 Aug 21
I won't say .. forgive him ...as it's said always.. some good word's...and I know it's not that easy... Take time..it doesn't happen all at once..but it's better to get it off..why to waste our energy by holding something..and keep hurting ourselves...
1 person likes this
• China
21 Aug 21
I was hurted by him for several times, hurt my feeling,which made me lose any interesting and confidence for life, yesterday I was so happy then I received his message which hurted me, I was so upset, and cried and cried for a long time, I was so unhappy at whole nights, and I didn't get a good sleep last night,I considerd and thought for a long time,then I was so upset,I don4 know if I will happy again, I really don't know if I can cheer up again, I don't know what i can do next time.Thank you.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (13658)
21 Aug 21
It really can hurt to find out a friend is not the person you think he or she really is. And it hurts us when the person is so uncaring that they don't even realize they hurt you. It's hard, but sometimes you just have to walk away. Forgiveness is a good thing, but when trust is gone, it's gone forever.
1 person likes this
• China
21 Aug 21
yes,I agree with you, trust is very important for people and friends to establish good and strong friendship each other,when trust lost, the love was gone fast,even though we chose to forgive, however the nice memories would be affected by it.
1 person likes this
@CuriousGab (3258)
• India
21 Aug 21
You can forgive him if it keeps bothering you. Only brave people can forgive. I know ..now no matter how many chances you give him your friendship won't return to what it was..so just let go of him. Just be normal friends ..talk nicely when you meet but donot share everything as he might hurt you again. If you break the friendship it will hurt you more..so try to be normal friends if you can if you don't want to be friends anymore... stop contacting him..and clear that you can't be friends anymore. Whatever happens remember that your best friend is yourself who will never betray you and stay happy
1 person likes this
• China
21 Aug 21
Thank you Jerry, I am thinking what I spoke with him, I am a simplicity, genuine and honest person for him, however he thought me who are a scheming person, which made me very very angry, yes, Jerry, the wrong thing was that I like to tell everything to him, and it was no secret what I meet him, on contrast, he didn't trust me again, and I don't trust him too, I knew we destroyed the prior friendship and good feelings, sometimes I want to let him into my blacklist on contact, however I couldn't do that, because if I did that, our friendship will never cover, so it is very difficult for me to face it and don't know how to deal with it on right now. Thank you again.
1 person likes this
• India
21 Aug 21
@bettydeng5 I faced the same situation before but now we just talk when we meet..now nothing is like what it was before. We just wish each other birthdays and just that's all. We don't share everything like before. I have already forgiven her and that is why i feel very easy and relaxed. I got some very good new friends and now it doesn't matter if my friend betrayed me or anything. I have forgiven and so she is just a normal person to me. I am thankful to her for being my friend and I don't care anymore if she hurt me. Forgive and donot get bothered anymore
@prinzcy (32779)
• Malaysia
26 Aug 21
That would depend on what your friend did.
@veunike (333)
• Hong Kong
23 Aug 21
Yes. Carrying anger and bitterness hurts you, not him. You don't have to like him,but let go of your anger by forgiving him,You'll feel better. It won't make any difference to him so only you are the beneficiary.