Enough!
By Toni
@toniganzon (72279)
Philippines
August 30, 2021 7:58pm CST
What would make you give up on a relationship? A cheating spouse, a nagging spouse, etc?
I have witnessed this couple who’s been married for ten years. Right after their wedding day they were already cursing each other. Too many fights over petty things. Over the years, nothing has changed at all. Even when the wife went to another country to work, they’d constantly fight. She made her husband quit work coz nobody’s taking care of the children. Then she would nag him about having no plans for their future coz he’s got no job.
For ten years of being married majority of that were bad fighting. But they’re still together. He tried to leave her twice, but he would always come back to her arms. He said he has no feelings for her anymore, but he remains married to her nevertheless.
19 people like this
18 responses
@toniganzon (72279)
• Philippines
31 Aug 21
it's my brother-in-law so I'm not really an outsider. And they used to live in my house and every time he runs away from the wife, this house is his safe haven.
1 person likes this
@arunima25 (86091)
• Bangalore, India
31 Aug 21
You are very right Judy. People in relationships are the best person to analyze their relation and take decisions.
2 people like this
@oli_purba (12)
• Indonesia
31 Aug 21
You're right. Eventhough we do get inside and listened to each story, it's kinda difficult to know which one is actually true and not. The truth only lies between that couple.
2 people like this
@arunima25 (86091)
• Bangalore, India
31 Aug 21
I have been happily married for 21 years now. And we have our share of arguments from time to time and I think that is a part of any healthy relationship. But what you mention here seems to be a toxic one. I can not live in such relationship.
2 people like this
@toniganzon (72279)
• Philippines
31 Aug 21
Indeed a very toxic one that i, myself couldn’t endure any longer.
1 person likes this
@arunima25 (86091)
• Bangalore, India
31 Aug 21
@toniganzon I can not judge them. There must be a reason for their relationship to turn sour or for them to not break it. Couples know it better than anyone else.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (72279)
• Philippines
1 Sep 21
Oh we know. We know everything. They love to involve us in their life. Including deciding what to do with their special child. If it were not for us, the child would have never gone into therapy. We are not mere spectators of their marriage of a sham, we are directly involved coz they enjoy involving us, including financial support. @arunima25
1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (74555)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
31 Aug 21
i have never been able to understand how such relationships could work, I could not live that way, My soul mate and I had a wonderful 20 year relationship before he passed on and I would have wanted 20 more years at lest,
2 people like this
@moffittjc (118996)
• Gainesville, Florida
1 Sep 21
That's sad Toni. People should be in loving, happy relationships. But what if fighting and arguing is really what makes them happy? Some people are like that...they're not happy unless they're miserable.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (72279)
• Philippines
1 Sep 21
Oh the husband is miserable as hell. The wife, no. She’s having a blast posting oN facebook that she’s a super mom (a lie) and that she has a perfect 10 year marriage! She does whatever she wants. Buys everything she wants. Enjoys time with her friends.
The husband, no. He stays and takes care of the kids. He used to go cycling but it stopped because the wife got mad that he had no time for the family. Not true. He rode his bike very early in the morning for two hours and cache back before the children woke up. Then he tried target shooting and had fun with my son. But then the wife got mad again and that stopped. He has no hobbies, no time for himself at all.
@toniganzon (72279)
• Philippines
1 Sep 21
He loves his children too much. For two weeks he stayed with us to stay away from her and his decision was final. She kept calling him and using the children as an excuse to be with him. But according to my son who had snacks with them last Sunday, they’re still arguing a lot. @moffittjc
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (118996)
• Gainesville, Florida
1 Sep 21
@toniganzon Poor guy. Sounds like he is really miserable. Why does he stay with her? Is he afraid to leave and go out on his own? Does he fear not being able to start fresh in another relationship?
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (129966)
• Israel
31 Aug 21
@toniganzon
That is not good to stay married for the kids because they will suffer even more with your unhappiness. I would not want to be in a relationship with someone that does not support me at all by hearing what I have to say and really listening to me and all they do is put me down in front of others and in private.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (72279)
• Philippines
1 Sep 21
I am with you on that one. How can you live with someone who belittles you and disrespect you? I can’t imagine a life like that.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (72279)
• Philippines
1 Sep 21
@Hannihar The good thing is you were out of it already.
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (129966)
• Israel
1 Sep 21
@toniganzon
I was married to one like that and wanted a divorce two years before but could not get one till he wanted to give me one. That was two more years so it wads 4 years altogether.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (72279)
• Philippines
1 Sep 21
It truly is. The guy’s family has been discouraging him from returning to his wife.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (72279)
• Philippines
1 Sep 21
@CarolDM we know that marriage is not all about roses every single day. Arguments and fighting is part of the marriage growth and development. But when it continues, you start disrespecting each other.
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (203449)
• Nashville, Tennessee
1 Sep 21
@toniganzon Not good at all. We are all suppose to be happy.
1 person likes this
@allen0187 (58444)
• Philippines
31 Aug 21
Divorce bill is close to being approved here in the country. The husband has a way out of that loveless marriage.
1 person likes this
@allen0187 (58444)
• Philippines
1 Sep 21
@toniganzon read it in the news.
No idea about the definition of 'family' in the Family Code.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (72279)
• Philippines
1 Sep 21
You might want to check it out because that definition under the law is the very reason we can’t have divorce in this country. @allen0187
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (72279)
• Philippines
1 Sep 21
Has they changed the definition of the family in the Family Code? Coz until that changes happen, we are not close to the divorce bill being approved.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (72279)
• Philippines
1 Sep 21
Do you curse at each other. Throwing hateful words? Have you told your wife you have no love for her anymore? Has she belittled you in your ability to care for your family?
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
31 Aug 21
It is hard to see inside other people's relationships. He must get something from it or he would leave.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (72279)
• Philippines
1 Sep 21
His reason, he’s staying for the kids. He has been avoiding returning but the wife kept using the children. She knows its his weakness.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (72279)
• Philippines
31 Aug 21
Indeed but well he made his choice to remain in such a toxic situation.
1 person likes this
@rakski (112924)
• Philippines
31 Aug 21
@toniganzon whatever it is, it is the person's choice. good luck with that kind of relationship
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (72279)
• Philippines
31 Aug 21
oh wow really? Does the fighting stop in time or they got used to the fighting too?
1 person likes this
@db20747 (43438)
• Washington, District Of Columbia
31 Aug 21
@toniganzon yes, they've gotten used to the fighting too. This is a situation I don't know what to say. I don't understand how people can put up with this
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (72279)
• Philippines
1 Sep 21
Same here coz i could never imagine Laying next to the person who thinks so little of me and has no respect. @db20747
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (160234)
• United States
31 Aug 21
A cheating spouse would be my reason to give up on a relationship. My husband and I have been married for ***50*** years!!!
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (72279)
• Philippines
1 Sep 21
That is so wonderful and I’m happy for you. As long as there’s love, trust and respect, a marriage can last forever.
1 person likes this
@rsa101 (37987)
• Philippines
31 Aug 21
Wow, that is rare for a man to really stay in a relationship that is troublesome as the one you describe here. The wife seems to be the one that is problematic in this case as she nags then makes decisions that could make things even worse.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (72279)
• Philippines
31 Aug 21
Yes, the wife is definitely the one at fault.
1 person likes this
@Noor0000001 (378)
• Pakistan
31 Aug 21
I think it's really difficult to live in such type of relationship.
1 person likes this
@oli_purba (12)
• Indonesia
31 Aug 21
I can't say what make me give up on a relationship because i literally haven't had any romantic relationship or something like that. However, based on what i saw and listened, i can somewhat say that what leads to breaking up is lack of trust, bad communication and less personal space.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (72279)
• Philippines
1 Sep 21
Trust and respect. Once it crumbles, there’s n o such thing as good relationship anymore.
