Supporting & Listening to my Friend

@CarolDM (152882)
United States
September 13, 2021 1:48pm CST
I have talked about Dustin's godfather who is on hospice for bone cancer. Still at home, with his wife and nurses taking care of him. She called today and just needed to talk. Having him at home is what they both wanted. However, she is both physically and mentally drained. Being there and seeing him 24/7 is getting the best of her. Her grand-daughter and nephew have been staying some to give her relief. But she is cleaning her house and the yard on her breaks. I reminded her to take care of herself. The rest will get done later. We both cried together and reminisced about days gone by. She ended by saying the hardest part is seeing him slowly fade away, nothing I can do. My heart breaks for her. Reminds me of the last week I spent holding my Dad's hand in hospice. Life can be so unfair.
22 people like this
20 responses
@rebelann (89133)
• El Paso, Texas
13 Sep
My heart goes out to her, I know what it's like to watch someone fade away, it's hard on the whole family.
2 people like this
@CarolDM (152882)
• United States
13 Sep
It is very hard. Sorry you know the feeling.
2 people like this
@rebelann (89133)
• El Paso, Texas
13 Sep
Yes it is and thank you, it was a long time ago.
2 people like this
@CarolDM (152882)
• United States
13 Sep
@rebelann We never forget.
2 people like this
@snowy22315 (121400)
• United States
14 Sep
That is rough for both of you, but I am sure she really appreciates your support.
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (152882)
• United States
14 Sep
I know she does, wish I could be there.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (121400)
• United States
14 Sep
@CarolDM Maybe you two could meet half way or something??
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (152882)
• United States
14 Sep
@snowy22315 She won't leave him now.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (57895)
• Canada
13 Sep
My parents best friends went thru that. The wife wanted to remain at home to pass, and it was exhausting on her hubby, beyond words exhaustion. I hope that somebody can take her out, away from the busy activities of the home even for a couple of hours to get her mind off of it.
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (152882)
• United States
13 Sep
So difficult to listen to her struggle. I hope she gets a break soon.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (57895)
• Canada
13 Sep
@CarolDM I just cannot imagine being in her position, the love of your life suffering, living out his last days, and you along for the journey only it won't kill her. Its has to be so darned hard. I pray for her as well as him.
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (152882)
• United States
13 Sep
@Juliaacv They have been married about 60 years now. Thank you.
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (116903)
• Israel
14 Sep
@CarolDM It sounds like your friend is trying to hang on there by a thread. I bet it must be hard for her to see him fading.I am so so sorry for what they are going through and how hard it must be for you too to see him slipping away and how it brings back things for you too. I am very sorry.
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (152882)
• United States
14 Sep
Yes she is, her husband of over 60 years is dying. Thank you.
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (116903)
• Israel
14 Sep
@CarolDM That is such a long time that they were married. I can see how hard that must be for them. You are welcome and still so so sorry.
1 person likes this
@DocAndersen (48641)
• United States
14 Sep
every kindness extended is returned 10 fold! you are a good egg!
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (152882)
• United States
14 Sep
Thank you.
1 person likes this
@DocAndersen (48641)
• United States
14 Sep
1 person likes this
@DianneN (235165)
• United States
13 Sep
Reminds me of the last day I spent holding my dad’s hand in hospice, too. Life is unfair. So sorry.
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (152882)
• United States
13 Sep
Thank you, it is very sad.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (235165)
• United States
13 Sep
@CarolDM I know
1 person likes this
@RebeccasFarm (42240)
• Wheat Ridge, Colorado
13 Sep
Heartbreaking reality. She is brave and you are so kind Carol. RIP your Dad too
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (152882)
• United States
13 Sep
Thank you, just being a friend. And she is my family too.
1 person likes this
• Wheat Ridge, Colorado
13 Sep
1 person likes this
@kobesbuddy (133377)
• East Tawas, Michigan
13 Sep
Memories of holding my father's hand for the last time, it's a heart wrenching experience.
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (152882)
• United States
13 Sep
Something you never forget.
1 person likes this
@kobesbuddy (133377)
• East Tawas, Michigan
14 Sep
@CarolDM I went to the nursing home(just down the block)and took Dad to my home, every single day. All I needed to do was sign him out. He loved spending time with Jay and Me! Then, I took him back at bedtime.
1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (45918)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
14 Sep
I will keep him in my prayers, Just reading this I am reminded that I was spared a lot of heartaches. Since my husband suddenly passed away the day after we took him to the hospital it was best I did not have to find he had passed on at home, That would have totally destroyed me sing him gone and there in front of me,
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (152882)
• United States
14 Sep
Thank you. It is very sad and hard. I lost my Dad after one week on hospice.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Sep
I can certainly understand how hard it is for her right now. I went through the same thing when my mom went into hospice. You are a good friend to just listen and also gave good advice for her to take care of herself during this difficult time.
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (152882)
• United States
14 Sep
Sorry you can relate too. Many of us can. I feel so helpless, but I know there is nothing else to do.
@divalounger (4783)
• United States
14 Sep
Hers is a difficult path. My heart goes out to her.
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (152882)
• United States
14 Sep
Thank you very much.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (74859)
• United States
14 Sep
Life is so hard. It's double hard when there's nothing you can do to stop the inevitable. I'm glad his wife has you for support and comfort.
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (152882)
• United States
14 Sep
Yes life is hard for sure.
1 person likes this
@wolfgirl569 (47330)
• Marion, Ohio
14 Sep
I feel for her. Glad she has help but it is still a very hard thing to do.
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (152882)
• United States
14 Sep
She has some help but not enough. Wish she was closer.
1 person likes this
@Dena91 (15165)
• United States
14 Sep
I understand where she is at going through similar with Mike's dad last year. It is extremely draining emotionally and physically. Glad she has some help with her grand daughter and nephew. I am glad you were there to listen, people need to do that more.
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (152882)
• United States
14 Sep
Same with my Dad. Life can be so difficult. I agree and thank you.
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (26845)
• United States
13 Sep
I'm so sorry. It's heartbreaking for all of you who love him.
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (152882)
• United States
14 Sep
Yes it is, nothing you can do.
1 person likes this
@marlina (131205)
• Canada
13 Sep
Yes, life is very unfair
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (152882)
• United States
13 Sep
Indeed it can be for sure.
• Rupert, Idaho
13 Sep
I am so sorry to hear that, that would be so hard to go through
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (152882)
• United States
13 Sep
Thank you Courtney.
1 person likes this
@kaylachan (25182)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
13 Sep
Sometimes the best you can do is be supportive. Which you're doing. I went through the same with my mom and dad, only with my mom, I got a break by going to school. Dad, not so much. Sure I had a job, and got me out of the house a few hours out of the week, but not as much as school did.
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (152882)
• United States
13 Sep
You are right Kayla. She is like family and a true friend. Sorry for your losses.
@Fleura (16672)
• United Kingdom
13 Sep
It is such a sad situation to be in. I hope the strain doesn't take too much of a toll on your friend too.
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (152882)
• United States
13 Sep
I am afraid it is, but she is strong, and I feel she will come back.
1 person likes this
@sarik1 (4713)
14 Sep
Sorry to hear.
1 person likes this