Supporting & Listening to my Friend

@CarolDM (203452)

Nashville, Tennessee

September 13, 2021 1:48pm CST

I have talked about Dustin's godfather who is on hospice for bone cancer. Still at home, with his wife and nurses taking care of him. She called today and just needed to talk. Having him at home is what they both wanted. However, she is both physically and mentally drained. Being there and seeing him 24/7 is getting the best of her. Her grand-daughter and nephew have been staying some to give her relief. But she is cleaning her house and the yard on her breaks. I reminded her to take care of herself. The rest will get done later. We both cried together and reminisced about days gone by. She ended by saying the hardest part is seeing him slowly fade away, nothing I can do. My heart breaks for her. Reminds me of the last week I spent holding my Dad's hand in hospice. Life can be so unfair.

22 people like this

20 responses

@rebelann (111178)

• El Paso, Texas

13 Sep 21

My heart goes out to her, I know what it's like to watch someone fade away, it's hard on the whole family.

2 people like this

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@rebelann (111178)

• El Paso, Texas

13 Sep 21

Yes it is and thank you, it was a long time ago.

2 people like this

@CarolDM (203452)

• Nashville, Tennessee

13 Sep 21

It is very hard. Sorry you know the feeling.

2 people like this

@CarolDM (203452)

• Nashville, Tennessee

13 Sep 21

@rebelann We never forget.

2 people like this

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@snowy22315 (169966)

• United States

14 Sep 21

That is rough for both of you, but I am sure she really appreciates your support.

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@snowy22315 (169966)

• United States

14 Sep 21

@CarolDM Maybe you two could meet half way or something??

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@CarolDM (203452)

• Nashville, Tennessee

14 Sep 21

I know she does, wish I could be there.

1 person likes this

@CarolDM (203452)

• Nashville, Tennessee

14 Sep 21

@snowy22315 She won't leave him now.

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@Juliaacv (48442)

• Canada

13 Sep 21

My parents best friends went thru that. The wife wanted to remain at home to pass, and it was exhausting on her hubby, beyond words exhaustion. I hope that somebody can take her out, away from the busy activities of the home even for a couple of hours to get her mind off of it.

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@Juliaacv (48442)

• Canada

13 Sep 21

@CarolDM I just cannot imagine being in her position, the love of your life suffering, living out his last days, and you along for the journey only it won't kill her. Its has to be so darned hard. I pray for her as well as him.

1 person likes this

@CarolDM (203452)

• Nashville, Tennessee

13 Sep 21

@Juliaacv They have been married about 60 years now. Thank you.

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@CarolDM (203452)

• Nashville, Tennessee

13 Sep 21

So difficult to listen to her struggle. I hope she gets a break soon.

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@DianneN (246838)

• United States

13 Sep 21

Reminds me of the last day I spent holding my dad’s hand in hospice, too. Life is unfair. So sorry.

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@DianneN (246838)

• United States

13 Sep 21

@CarolDM I know

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@CarolDM (203452)

• Nashville, Tennessee

13 Sep 21

Thank you, it is very sad.

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@Hannihar (129470)

• Israel

14 Sep 21

@CarolDM It sounds like your friend is trying to hang on there by a thread. I bet it must be hard for her to see him fading.I am so so sorry for what they are going through and how hard it must be for you too to see him slipping away and how it brings back things for you too. I am very sorry.

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@Hannihar (129470)

• Israel

14 Sep 21

@CarolDM That is such a long time that they were married. I can see how hard that must be for them. You are welcome and still so so sorry.

1 person likes this

@CarolDM (203452)

• Nashville, Tennessee

14 Sep 21

Yes she is, her husband of over 60 years is dying. Thank you.

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@DocAndersen (54411)

• United States

14 Sep 21

every kindness extended is returned 10 fold! you are a good egg!

1 person likes this

@CarolDM (203452)

• Nashville, Tennessee

14 Sep 21

Thank you.

1 person likes this

@DocAndersen (54411)

• United States

14 Sep 21

1 person likes this

@divalounger (5849)

• United States

14 Sep 21

Hers is a difficult path. My heart goes out to her.

1 person likes this

@CarolDM (203452)

• Nashville, Tennessee

14 Sep 21

Thank you very much.

1 person likes this

@RebeccasFarm (86754)

• United States

13 Sep 21

Heartbreaking reality. She is brave and you are so kind Carol. RIP your Dad too

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@RebeccasFarm (86754)

• United States

13 Sep 21

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@CarolDM (203452)

• Nashville, Tennessee

13 Sep 21

Thank you, just being a friend. And she is my family too.

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@wolfgirl569 (95188)

• Marion, Ohio

14 Sep 21

I feel for her. Glad she has help but it is still a very hard thing to do.

1 person likes this

@CarolDM (203452)

• Nashville, Tennessee

14 Sep 21

She has some help but not enough. Wish she was closer.

1 person likes this

@RasmaSandra (73444)

• Daytona Beach, Florida

14 Sep 21

I will keep him in my prayers, Just reading this I am reminded that I was spared a lot of heartaches. Since my husband suddenly passed away the day after we took him to the hospital it was best I did not have to find he had passed on at home, That would have totally destroyed me sing him gone and there in front of me,

1 person likes this

@CarolDM (203452)

• Nashville, Tennessee

14 Sep 21

Thank you. It is very sad and hard. I lost my Dad after one week on hospice.

1 person likes this

@Marilynda1225 (79731)

• United States

14 Sep 21

I can certainly understand how hard it is for her right now. I went through the same thing when my mom went into hospice. You are a good friend to just listen and also gave good advice for her to take care of herself during this difficult time.

1 person likes this

@CarolDM (203452)

• Nashville, Tennessee

14 Sep 21

Sorry you can relate too. Many of us can. I feel so helpless, but I know there is nothing else to do.

@Dena91 (15860)

• United States

14 Sep 21

I understand where she is at going through similar with Mike's dad last year. It is extremely draining emotionally and physically. Glad she has some help with her grand daughter and nephew. I am glad you were there to listen, people need to do that more.

1 person likes this

@CarolDM (203452)

• Nashville, Tennessee

14 Sep 21

Same with my Dad. Life can be so difficult. I agree and thank you.

1 person likes this

@kobesbuddy (74571)

• East Tawas, Michigan

13 Sep 21

Memories of holding my father's hand for the last time, it's a heart wrenching experience.

1 person likes this

@CarolDM (203452)

• Nashville, Tennessee

13 Sep 21

Something you never forget.

1 person likes this

@kobesbuddy (74571)

• East Tawas, Michigan

14 Sep 21

@CarolDM I went to the nursing home(just down the block)and took Dad to my home, every single day. All I needed to do was sign him out. He loved spending time with Jay and Me! Then, I took him back at bedtime.

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@LindaOHio (156157)

• United States

14 Sep 21

Life is so hard. It's double hard when there's nothing you can do to stop the inevitable. I'm glad his wife has you for support and comfort.

1 person likes this

@CarolDM (203452)

• Nashville, Tennessee

14 Sep 21

Yes life is hard for sure.

1 person likes this

@kaylachan (57687)

• Daytona Beach, Florida

13 Sep 21

Sometimes the best you can do is be supportive. Which you're doing. I went through the same with my mom and dad, only with my mom, I got a break by going to school. Dad, not so much. Sure I had a job, and got me out of the house a few hours out of the week, but not as much as school did.

1 person likes this

@CarolDM (203452)

• Nashville, Tennessee

13 Sep 21

You are right Kayla. She is like family and a true friend. Sorry for your losses.

@marlina (154166)

• Canada

13 Sep 21

Yes, life is very unfair

1 person likes this

@CarolDM (203452)

• Nashville, Tennessee

13 Sep 21

Indeed it can be for sure.

Vicki, #1 Creek Girl

@1creekgirl (40523)

• United States

13 Sep 21

I'm so sorry. It's heartbreaking for all of you who love him.

1 person likes this

@CarolDM (203452)

• Nashville, Tennessee

14 Sep 21

Yes it is, nothing you can do.

1 person likes this

@Fleura (29128)

• United Kingdom

13 Sep 21

It is such a sad situation to be in. I hope the strain doesn't take too much of a toll on your friend too.

1 person likes this

@CarolDM (203452)

• Nashville, Tennessee

13 Sep 21

I am afraid it is, but she is strong, and I feel she will come back.

1 person likes this

@sarik1 (6771)

•

14 Sep 21

Sorry to hear.

1 person likes this

Courtney Dutton

@MommyOfEli2013 (82002)

• Rupert, Idaho

13 Sep 21

I am so sorry to hear that, that would be so hard to go through

1 person likes this

@CarolDM (203452)

• Nashville, Tennessee

13 Sep 21

Thank you Courtney.

1 person likes this