Do you have folks like this in your life?
By vanny
@vandana7 (98834)
India
August 11, 2022 1:11am CST
He is basically very helpful person. But also like the bumble bee. Non stop hammering of a suggestion that it can get on your nerves.
We each have our experiences, and wisdom (or decisions that we consider to be right under some circumstances) gained from experiences and knowledge.
I think we should not wait to share that when the time arrives because we may prevent a friend from taking a wrong decision, or gain a friend.
That said, we should not insist that our decision be followed. I am intelligent (I think so). So is the person in front of me (I think so). They may have their set of experiences, and wisdom and knowledge too, right? And another set of friends with their set of experiences, wisdom, knowledge. So they could consult everybody to come to the right decision, perhaps. After all, there can be better decision than my decision, and my decision may have been based on certain situation, which does not apply in current situations.
So my aunt let her house out, the tenant did not pay rent for the last few months but left her belongings.
One of the things that is around is a large steel oven. Apart from this there are steel stoves.
Getting a buyer for a steel oven that is not in a working condition is not easy, especially when it is voluminous. But mentally, aunt is appropriating its value towards missing rent. I had explained that she should cut her losses, put it in stocks or even FDs, she would be better off. Steel ovens are not like used cars, somebody or the other would be willing to buy them. These are used only by bakers, and bakers would not want older models later on. Moreover, there are not as many used steel oven buyers as there are used car buyers.
She listened to it, and decided against it. Her thinking. Her property. None of my business. Agreed?
Yesterday, I asked this uncle I have two wooden chairs to donate, he knows a charity so would he help. He started insisting that I persuade aunt to donate her stoves to some temple.
I become so grrrrrrrr at such moments. Why on earth should I be keen to donate others things?
I am clearing my deck to go to old age home without much hassles when the time comes.
Just because aunt likes me very much does not mean that I should interfere to that extent with her, does it?
16 people like this
14 responses
@vandana7 (98834)
• India
11 Aug 22
I agree. She must have her reasons. I have had no reason to believe she is senile. There are some idiosyncrasies but then I too have them. So everybody is permitted their quota. She actually likes me and I can get across to her most of the time. I wouldn't insult her by forcing my views on her, as if she has a malfunctioning brain. Never.
3 people like this
@BarBaraPrz (45498)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
11 Aug 22
If your uncle thinks your aunt should donate the stoves to some temple, why doesn't HE persuade her?
2 people like this
@BarBaraPrz (45498)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
11 Aug 22
@vandana7 Gets on her nerves, does he?
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (98834)
• India
11 Aug 22
@BarBaraPrz Evil Grin. Yeah. Mine too. But I have taken favors from him in the past, so I cannot be rough in my talk.
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (137142)
• United States
11 Aug 22
Yes, there are always people like that in everyone's life. Why they think we should try to convince someone else to give away their things never ceases to amaze me. IF a friend asks my opinion, I will give it... But it's just my opinion. I don't expect them to follow it unless they want to do that.
For someone to suggest you try to convince your aunt of anything is extremely rude and I would tell them they are being rude. I'm not as nice as you are.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (98834)
• India
11 Aug 22
I thought it is Indian characteristic. I must have been too busy with my life to notice these people. I only condemned my relatives. But yes, there are others who needed to be repaired.
There are times DE when the friend may not ask you for opinion thinking you are so off that situation or hesitate to ask you not knowing whether it is inviting you in too much into their life or not - afraid that boundaries will be transgressed for good.
Today, I had to pay somebody some amount. I did not have the required change. The building manager was standing there. He saw my predicament. He did not volunteer afraid that I might find it insulting to be offered that small amount. He just pulled out his wallet to check if he had that much change. That indicated to me that he was willing to loan me that much. I walked up to him and asked, and he happily spared the money, I sent the car service man off, sent the watchman to fetch something for me, and got the change, from which I returned the money.
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (137142)
• United States
11 Aug 22
@vandana7 There have been times that I hesitated to give my opinion in cases where Indians are concerned because you aren't like the Americans I've always known
When you've asked, I've always tried my best to answer but I am not good with Indian situations...
Yes, I've done that before... checked to see if I have the odd change if someone needed it. Sometimes they accepted that as an offer to loan or give them the odd amount. Other times, they ignored the implied offer.
How are you, dad and auntie doing? (I know you've been busy but I've still missed seeing/teasing you on myLot. I think pony also notices your absence when you're too busy to be here for a while. 
1 person likes this
@aninditasen (15742)
• Raurkela, India
11 Aug 22
You are right. People have their own notions and have to be left alone.
2 people like this
@aninditasen (15742)
• Raurkela, India
12 Aug 22
@vandana7 Yes, she knows best what suits her.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (156271)
• United States
11 Aug 22
No, you are right. Someone else should not encourage you to tell your aunt to donate the stoves. There are these types of people everywhere!
2 people like this
@vandana7 (98834)
• India
13 Aug 22
@LindaOHio Ignoring is tough ...they should have classes to teach us how to handle such stuff.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (156271)
• United States
12 Aug 22
@vandana7 Try to ignore them as much as you can.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (170019)
• United States
20 Aug 22
I think she wil make the right decision for her.
1 person likes this
@much2say (53958)
• Los Angeles, California
11 Aug 22
Well, it's your aunt's property - so in the end it is her choice no matter what anyone suggests. Your uncle can go tell your aunt for himself . . . why put it on you? He is pushing you to push . . . maybe he thinks if more people suggest the same thing, she would do it. Eh, best to stay out of it.
1 person likes this
. Your aunt must be smart AND strong . . . she can "hold her own", as they say. And your uncle must know that by now 
.
@RebeccasFarm (86764)
• United States
20 Aug 22
Sorry to hear of bad tenant there for your Aunt.
I hope she will be fine and will do as she thinks best.
The Uncle does not have authority so..
1 person likes this
@RebeccasFarm (86764)
• United States
25 Aug 22
@vandana7 He really should know to mind his own business.
@vandana7 (98834)
• India
11 Aug 22
I am surprised actually that so many have come across such people. This uncle has been in my life for the last 35 odd years. It is only the last 15 odd years that I have observed such behavior becoming increasingly prominent in him. I thought this is a psychological condition.
1 person likes this
@LeaPea2417 (36451)
• Toccoa, Georgia
12 Aug 22
I have a family member that is always trying to tell certain family members what to do. It is like she thinks she is smarter and better than everyone else in the family.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (98834)
• India
12 Aug 22
I hate that attitude. They may or may not be smarter. But the need to deny another person the right to live or choose is disgusting. People make mistakes and learn from them. But why should we presume they will make wrong choices. And in this case....... it is denying her her monies ...that is really mean!
1 person likes this
@wolfgirl569 (95260)
• Marion, Ohio
11 Aug 22
If she asks again then you could suggest it. But I wouldnt until then.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (98834)
• India
11 Aug 22
Me too. I have already mentioned offers for her Oven twice to her, explaining advantages and disadvantages. She chose not to sell. Her decision. Why should I decide for her? What if my decision turns out to be wrong? What if steel prices shoot through the roof like gold? Then this loving aunt will cuss me to my grave..LOL
2 people like this
@Daljinder (23233)
• Bangalore, India
24 Aug 22
Tell him to go talk to her himself. 
1 person likes this
@Daljinder (23233)
• Bangalore, India
25 Aug 22
@vandana7 By the way, I do have folks in my life that think that they are right. Regardless of it being blatantly clear that they were wrong and have bore consequences out of their wrongness, they will absolutely refuse to admit that they were wrong. It's annoying to the extreme. We have learned to smile and nod and ignore.
Oh, and there are also folks who will blame you for whatever bad is happening in their lives. It doesn't matter that you have had no contact with them. 
1 person likes this
