And today was about his medical problems...
By TheRealDawn
@dawnald (85135)
Shingle Springs, California
November 9, 2022 9:39pm CST
This is where the guilt comes in...
A month ago, he had a lump removed from his lung, and he is still having pain and more tests done and so on, and I'm thinking of ending our relationship, and this is why I would feel like a crap human.
As I spent the day removing him as partial beneficiary from my life insurance and retirement accounts.
I'm gradually removing him from my life, but I'm too chicken to start the conversation...
You see, Tony, I do not want to be in a relationship any more where I have to hold back for fear you are going to get angry. I just decided I am done without ever having the conversation with you that your temper is getting to be a deal breaker.
I am a chicken.
Sigh.
10 people like this
9 responses
@marguicha (215492)
• Chile
10 Nov 22
It doesn´t matter where you start. You started. My daughter spent over 2 weeks on a "vacation" with her children because she did not dare start the conversation. She had to go to the psychologist prior so that she would even tell her what words to use. I want to add the my daughter was terrified yet she is a lawyer and a judge. But she also was a psychologically abused woman. You tell him, as soon as you dare, that you have removed him (past tense) of your life insurance and retirement accounts. And that this is the end of your relation with him. Then you let him answer you. Do you have some company to be near you should you need it?
3 people like this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
10 Nov 22
There are my adult children.
He doesn't actually even know I put him as beneficiary, so. I don't have to get into that. I am going to tell him I dropped him from my insurance (he has other insurance, so I'm not leaving him high and dry). There are a few financial things that will have to be sorted out.
2 people like this
@marguicha (215492)
• Chile
10 Nov 22
@dawnald I hope you can do it as painless as possible. I know that you can´t delete a whole part of your life in a few days or even months. But you must do it for your sake. You have in front of you the rest of your life
4 people like this
@MarieCoyle (28583)
•
10 Nov 22
No, you aren't a chicken.
You are trying to avoid confrontation because you know it will be very unpleasant. Get ALL your aces in the places they should be. If you are afraid for any reason, have someone else very close by. Then just dump and get it over with. Hell, have his stuff packed if he is the one leaving or if it's your home, not his. Life is so short. We have to try to enjoy what we can, and you can't do that with him anymore. I'm sorry. I do know how hard it is.
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (28583)
•
10 Nov 22
@dawnald
It won't be easy. But for your peace of mind alone, it will be worth it.
2 people like this
@changjiangzhibin89 (16533)
• China
10 Nov 22
You are not a chicken.Now that you want to finish with him,"better a finger off than aye wagging."
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (325854)
• Rockingham, Australia
10 Nov 22
I really feel for you. There is some good advice in the comments. I remember once, when trying to say 'no' to someone being told not to get into an argument. Just repeat 'no, I can't do it' or whatever and refuse to be drawn into a back and forth argument. I wish you all the best but please - try to do it soon.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (28583)
•
10 Nov 22
@dawnald
Just don't face him down without some backup nearby. It's not worth listening to angry outbursts. Been there, done that, it can unexpectedly get very ugly.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (157563)
• United States
9 Feb 23
It is a start. You have decided. And he will always have a place in your memory and heart, but living with him is not living .
@RebeccasFarm (86764)
• United States
21 Nov 22
Well you somehow managed to do it Dawn. I am proud of you lady.
I am sorry he is so sick.
