Have you spoken at a funeral?
July 6, 2023 12:34pm CST
My mom would be 64 tomorrow, had she not died at the age of 55 (for those unfamiliar, she was diagnosed with dementia when she was 46). I wanted to speak at her funeral, but my dad kind of asked me not to because he figured I’d cry, and not be able to continue speaking. I knew if that happened (which I don’t believe would have), it would make my dad feel worse, and my priority was to make things easier on him (who knew a tornado would get his neighborhood that night). My sister spoke, but she has always been able to keep her emotions in check, and was able to smile and laugh during her speech. I wish I had the ability to do that, but I don’t. So, I asked the preacher who did the service to read what I wanted to say about my mom. The following is what I wrote, and please note for this discussion I will refer to our last name as “Fray”. “Leanne Fray was grace, class, and my wonderful mother. She was everything to me, and I could not have loved her more. She taught me so many lessons just by living the way she did. She also blessed me with an amazing father, and together they gave me a solid rock foundation on which to build my life. I think back to about a year ago when I went to pick her up at her adult daycare. At that point, she couldn’t talk very much, but across the room someone tapped her on the shoulder to direct her attention to me. A huge smile lit her face, she held out her arms, ran to me, embracing me, and rocking me back and forth in her arms. I’d like to think that’s the way she greeted Jesus as well.” That’s what I wrote. Have you spoken at a funeral, and were you able to keep your composure?
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@JudyEv I have tried and it does help. If you think ..just another town. No...old and sick ...grief is actually associated with many moments...it is the same...my policy is to tell me, just another town. Can go there, after I finish this and that.
• Los Angeles, California
Such lovely words about your mother . I could have spoken at my father's private service - but it didn't happen. I had a heartfelt speech prepared, and I do think I was ready. It's a long story . . . but I was able to read it directly to my mom and family after the service - and really that is all that mattered.
I am not great one to keep emotions under check, and honestly, I do not know why we are expected to. I do believe that the soul of the person is around for a while, trying to say goodbye to everybody one at at time. Expressing how we are feeling for them or about them is therefore a comforting thought for them as well and cathartic for you. I would have asked you to do so...hugs.
• United States
Yes, I gave the eulogy at my mom’s memorial service. Watching the video, you can hear the sadness in my voice at the beginning; however, as I went on and talked about her love for God and how she so greatly and humbly served Him the sadness went away. I said that I wasn’t there to say “goodbye” but “see you later” because of our faith.