I disappointed my parents
By Diana
@dya80dya (33550)
March 28, 2024 12:58pm CST
I am a young person who has a severe anxiety disorder. This made me unable to have a job. I can work only from home and for 4 hours. I am trying to accept this even if it's not easy. But my father can't accept this. I started to learn French and I really want to be better. Today I was put on disability. My father is very upset and I feel bad. One of my therapists told me to accept that I have a disability, but I can't accept it if my family is so unhappy about it. I didn't want to be put on disability because it causes disappointment, but I don't have an income now. My mom forced me to be on disability, and my father is now very disappointed. I feel stuck and don't know what to do. I had progress, but my family was too blind to see it.
22 people like this
23 responses
@AmbiePam (85541)
• United States
28 Mar
Your parents have failed you, not the other way around. I am big on personal responsibility, but in your case, you have done the best you can with what you have been given. And, your parents have continually let you down with their attitude. Nothing I say is going to make you feel better, but just know how they feel reflects what is wrong with THEM, not you.
11 people like this
@sabtraversa (12952)
• Italy
28 Mar
@AmbiePam Very well said! It's such a shame they fail to realize their attitude is so wrong and yields no results. A good parent would always put their daughter's wellbeing above everything, especially above their own personal pride.
6 people like this
@RebeccasFarm (86764)
• United States
28 Mar
I am so sorry you have this suffering in your life with your family. This is very sad very sad indeed that you have to feel so badly about living as you do Diana.
6 people like this
@RebeccasFarm (86764)
• United States
29 Mar
@Hannihar Welcome Hanni..yes it is very sad for all of us.
3 people like this
@Hannihar (129481)
• Israel
29 Mar
@RebeccasFarm
Thank you Oshy for what you said. It is sad that we and others like Diana have to suffer for what others do. Diana is a victim here.
2 people like this
@Hannihar (129481)
• Israel
29 Mar
@RebeccasFarm
You are so right it is very sad.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (157563)
• United States
29 Mar
You need to not be disappointed in yourself. I am proud you can work online, even if only for four hours.
4 people like this
@kobesbuddy (74594)
• East Tawas, Michigan
28 Mar
Your family simply doesn't understand. If they did, your condition wouldn't be judged unfairly. I have an anxiety disorder, my family made fun of me. They simply didn't understand, I have no control over this mental state. Yes, I am expected to do certain things to change matters, to make my life better and much happier. Any illness that produces physical traits, others won't judge this.
6 people like this
@kobesbuddy (74594)
• East Tawas, Michigan
2 Apr
@dya80dya My family said that I was lazy and uninspired! I had clinical depression and no meds!
@2ndchances24 (4831)
• Cloverdale, Indiana
28 Mar
That is so wrong for parents to be against their kids
for what the dr says is wrong with them, I'm so sorry
they don't have the mindset the dr see's you have
problems MAYBE 1 day they will.
4 people like this
@kaylachan (57727)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
28 Mar
Sometimes you need to stand up for yourself. Even if it causes anxiety. Your family mean well, but sometimes their idea of helping is hurting you.
3 people like this
@kaylachan (57727)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
30 Mar
@dya80dya And, I am sure... like most parents they don't realize the harm they cause.
@RasmaSandra (73473)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
28 Mar
First of all severe anxiety disorder is very hard to understand. Your family has done you an injustice not to help you get better step by step, They will just have to accept your disability and work with that. One thing is that you are lucky to have a family around you even if they are not understanding, At least you are not alone, I have learned to live with my anxiety but it has been a very long haul and I struggle against it many times since I am all alone I have absolutely no one to rely on any more, I wish you all the best, Virtual hugs,
3 people like this
@aninditasen (15742)
• Raurkela, India
29 Mar
That's the saddest part of the story in a family where parents aggravate a problem through unacceptance. Instead of being unhappy about your situation they should try and change the situation for you. Be more encouraging. I was a patient of anxiety but I searched for my own peace and am fine now.
2 people like this
@aninditasen (15742)
• Raurkela, India
30 Mar
@dya80dya I did take medication but Ayurvedic medicines that have no side effects and did yoga and some meditation. Moreover I moved away from the situation that was the cause of my anxiety.
@Silvanossilva88 (79)
• Nairobi, Kenya
28 Mar
Don't worry keep on working on yourself nothing is permanent..I believe with time u will be better..and keep on believing in yourself...at no point should you allow anybody be it your parents or friends to discourage you..you are strong and turn that disability into ability you are able
3 people like this
@sabtraversa (12952)
• Italy
28 Mar
Aww.
Parents want the best for their kids but sadly they don't always understand.
I totally agree with @kobesbuddy , they don't understand is the perfect way to describe it, otherwise they would have been able to encourage you in a more efficient way instead of making you feel guilty and nothing else.
I know how hard it is to accept a thing while someone else keeps on complaining about that thing. But you're still young, who knows what you'll be up to in 10 years. You can still dream of something better, you may find an opportunity or get inspired to create your own, and be self-employed. 
Why did your mom force you to be on disability though, when you already had a job?
Parents want the best for their kids but sadly they don't always understand.
I totally agree with @kobesbuddy , they don't understand is the perfect way to describe it, otherwise they would have been able to encourage you in a more efficient way instead of making you feel guilty and nothing else.
I know how hard it is to accept a thing while someone else keeps on complaining about that thing. But you're still young, who knows what you'll be up to in 10 years. You can still dream of something better, you may find an opportunity or get inspired to create your own, and be self-employed.
Why did your mom force you to be on disability though, when you already had a job?2 people like this
@sabtraversa (12952)
• Italy
30 Mar
@dya80dya That happens.
Thankfully there are other people you can rely on out there, and hopefully your parents will understand some day, your father especially. Your mother seems a little more accepting.
Thankfully there are other people you can rely on out there, and hopefully your parents will understand some day, your father especially. Your mother seems a little more accepting.
@pitsipeahie (4278)
•
29 Mar
I guess its just not you who should be on therapy but your parents as well. Family therapy, I guess because you're all in it together. They have to understand your situation so they can relate to you better. So sorry to hear that, I hope things get better between you and your family.
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (28607)
•
28 Mar
I'm sure you love and care for your family, but that doesn't make it right, how they are treating you for a disability you did not ask for, do not want, and wish you didn't have. Is there a sibling you could live with elsewhere? Another family member? To be in such a negative environment is just not a good place for you.
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (28607)
•
30 Mar
@dya80dya
Maybe it would be worthwhile to ask her. You deserve to be in a better environment than what you have now, Diana.
@Beestring (13322)
• Hong Kong
29 Mar
I feel so sorry about your situation. Your father should encourage you, not getting upset with you.
2 people like this
