What would you ask?

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If Granny Clampett was a real person what would you ask her? My burning question is: how do you get rid of earwigs? Slugs are rather gross, yes, but I get grossed out by earwigs. My back yard has a zillion fallen apples on its grass right now. I don't use pesticides so yes they are wormy. I chopped the best parts of some that had nice red stripes on them anyway and filled a stockpot three quarters full. They will cook down and later hubby will use the Foley food mill to churn out applesauce, I also drowned way too many earwigs and also was mean enough to sprinkle clorox on them. I can stand snakes, frogs, some slugs and some rodents but nope on earwigs. The photo is mine. It should show a junior Hubbard squash plant.