My Sunday was a good day.
By Marie Coyle
@MarieCoyle (45633)
November 4, 2024 10:50am CST
The day started with me feeling exhausted. It was a long, long week. We had a bit of rain and some winds, but nothing like Amber had to go through with the tornado outbreak, for that, I was thankful.
My daughter called and said she was feeling better and wanted to meet and take me out to eat and visit. My son (her brother) had a headache and was tired, so a friend of his was free and they hung out together and I went. We had a nice dinner! I was close to our big Target store, so I went there to get some household items I needed. We went to Barnes and Noble (one of our favorite things to do) she bought me my cup of black coffee, and we looked at books and magazines and had such a nice time. I have several books to read and didn't need any, she and son in law got a few books for Christmas presents for his parents, who are homebound for the most part. Then we went and ate dinner, which was so, so good, and we talked for a long time as well. We catch up on the phone when we can't see each other, but it's just not the same as a real visit.
I truly enjoyed my ''mini-break'' as my daughter called it. Things have been stressful and intense lately, and I was honestly starting to have the feeling of being beat up by a massive tidal wave. I probably should have spent the extra time I finagled for sleeping, but I wanted to get out, and when she called we made it happen. She sent some treats home for her brother, too.
Do you know anyone who cares for a family member, even just part time? If you do, and you have a scrap of time and energy, call them. Take them for the coffee thing or something if it can be worked out. Maybe just surprise them and leave a note, text, email, or whatever, telling them you were thinking of them. Anything...I am lucky to have family that help when they can. Many don't have that.
I have said it before, and here I am, saying it again--the gift of time is the best gift ever, and so much appreciated.
Pixabay picture
15 people like this
12 responses
@AmbiePam (100006)
• United States
4 Nov
I totally agree, Marie. Reach out, and let people know you care. They may (most likely they do) need a lifeline, and the smallest gesture can do it. A call, a visit, like you said, a cup of coffee, can make a world of difference. Even a card with a lovely message is something. Caregivers often feel forgotten. I hope people read your post and think about who they could be there for.
I’m so glad you got to have such a fun day. Barnes and Noble used to be the favorite store of my mom and me. It was like a world of goodness!
5 people like this
@MarieCoyle (45633)
•
4 Nov
My oldest daughter and I love bookstores, and browsing without hurrying. We've shared so many hours over books. My Dad was a big reader, and so was my aunt. You are correct, a world of goodness can be found in books.
Caregivers do often feel rather forgotten. I know you helped care for your own mother in her illness, and you know this firsthand. It's rewarding and we do it out of love, but that doesn't take away the fact that it is emotionally exhausting at times. Thank you, Amber!
5 people like this
@anya12adwi (10246)
• India
4 Nov
You have such a wonderful relation with your daughter! Hope you overcome all the hurdles thrown at you by the life!
3 people like this
@MarieCoyle (45633)
•
5 Nov
She is my oldest and we are a lot alike. I was so, so happy when they moved back here. They were in Florida for several years and wanted to come home.
1 person likes this
@anya12adwi (10246)
• India
5 Nov
@MarieCoyle Yay!! Glad that the literal distance now has lessened by many miles!! Oldest daughters are the bestfriends of mothers!
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (45633)
•
6 Nov
@anya12adwi
I never dreamed they would move back to this area, I am very thankful for that.
2 people like this
@much2say (57651)
• Los Angeles, California
4 Nov
You are indeed fortunate . . . your family is so thoughtful and mindful - lots of love there 
. I'm so glad you had that mini-break . . . family time is precious. My mom is still mostly independent, but I try to do what I can for her . . . I bring over meals, we take a tai chi class together, we have coffee time and chat, take walks or go shopping - and take care of some of her appointments and errands. This is on top of holding the fort with Hubby, college daughter, and high school son.
This year, my younger sister seems to have decided not to participate in this family. Besides not taking care of anything for our mom anymore, she has not even called to ask how she was. Sigh. It would be nice if she would spend some time with our mom - not even to do errands, just spend time being together. She just has her husband and dog - doesn't work, doesn't cook or do much domestics - her time is too precious for herself. I do things for my mom lovingly, but even I need a wee break - but it's not going to happen. Sorry for the rant.
. I'm so glad you had that mini-break . . . family time is precious. My mom is still mostly independent, but I try to do what I can for her . . . I bring over meals, we take a tai chi class together, we have coffee time and chat, take walks or go shopping - and take care of some of her appointments and errands. This is on top of holding the fort with Hubby, college daughter, and high school son.
This year, my younger sister seems to have decided not to participate in this family. Besides not taking care of anything for our mom anymore, she has not even called to ask how she was. Sigh. It would be nice if she would spend some time with our mom - not even to do errands, just spend time being together. She just has her husband and dog - doesn't work, doesn't cook or do much domestics - her time is too precious for herself. I do things for my mom lovingly, but even I need a wee break - but it's not going to happen. Sorry for the rant.2 people like this
@much2say (57651)
• Los Angeles, California
6 Nov
@MarieCoyle Yes, these wee breaks are much appreciated. If anything, I wish my sister would give my mom a break from "me" . . . a visit from her other daughter would be nice.
She helped my mom all last year - but I think she lost her patience with everything. She seems to think she did everything (which is far from the truth) and this year she is in protest and has done nothing. Not even to call. There's more to it than that. But - this is her choice - and she has to live with it - it will be her undoing if she one day has regrets.
Thank you for always listening, Marie 
.
.2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (45633)
•
5 Nov
I am so sorry she is like that and not helping. Those ''wee breaks'' mean so much...they give a person renewed energy to march on, and much needed time doing something besides caretaking. If she doesn't work, and has no children, it seems like she could arrange her time to help at least once in a while.
Sadly, when this happens and the person is no longer with us that needed the loving care, then the person, like your sister, is the saddest and most hysterical about the loss. I hope she wakes up, and realizes that nothing is forever, and you need a helping hand.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (45633)
•
6 Nov
@much2say
I have a friend with a 90 year old mother who is on her last days. My friend is a nurse, so she knows her medical stuff and her mother's needs. Her mother has money, so they hired full time caregivers, as she requires watching and much care, plus she has dementia. My friend's sister, never comes to help but about once a year..and she always wants to fire the caregivers and says her mother doesn't need them. She is no help at all, and just full of critism and hate. It makes me so sad. My friend has many serious health issues of her own, she can't take care of her mother full time, too. Some people are just not reasonable at times.
Like you said, there is a good chance your sister, and my friends' sister as well, will have regrets later on in life, but that's on them. I am just sorry your sister is not more supportive, I am sure you are just so stressed out and exhausted.
Big, giant hug. Really big.
2 people like this
@kaylachan (78656)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
4 Nov
As you know I am my husband's full-time caregiver. But he makes sure I can make time for a bath, too. That's usually my escape. I am glad you got a break and have people who can look after your son so you can go out and get away for a bit.
2 people like this
@kaylachan (78656)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
4 Nov
@MarieCoyle It can. I just have to pop on something like a race for George and I've got a couple hours to myself. Now getting us out the door on time, that's another task and a half. One I've yet to master.
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (45633)
•
4 Nov
@kaylachan
Oh, I go through that for son's appointments, etc much of the time. He just cannot hurry...A task and a half is right!
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (45633)
•
4 Nov
It does take some juggling, doesn't it? The best laid plans are often changed. Thank you so much, Kayla.
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (477597)
• Italy
5 Nov
I am glad your daughter called and you had some time together. I know how exhausting it is to take care of a family member. Today I was throwing dozens of old Reader's Digest Magazines, but I kept a few to read some stories that I totally forgot. The magazines were of the year 1976.
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (477597)
• Italy
6 Nov
@MarieCoyle - I am reading some of the stories before sleeping.
NO our library takes nothing in English.
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (45633)
•
6 Nov
Wow...48 years old. I bet they do have good stories in them, Anna!
Would your library take them, since they are that old?
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (45633)
•
7 Nov
@LadyDuck
I am surprised, I know the Swiss boys I had for several years here, told me they learned English in school in Switzerland. So I guess I thought any books, etc. would be available in English there. I know when I visited Switzerland, the few homes I was in during my stay spoke English and what they called Swiss-German. But they did have some English books.
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (45633)
•
6 Nov
It makes me feel so renewed to get away sometimes for a bit. Thank you, Judy.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (357178)
• Rockingham, Australia
6 Nov
@MarieCoyle With something like this, before it happens, I think it isn't going to make much difference but afterwards I do feel better.
2 people like this
@snowy22315 (191960)
• United States
4 Nov
You are lucky to have people around who care for you, and can help you out.
2 people like this
@wolfgirl569 (118435)
• Marion, Ohio
4 Nov
Glad you got a mini break. Sounds like a wonderful visit
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (45633)
•
5 Nov
It’s amazing how much those little breaks help and spur me on. Thank you, Eva.
2 people like this
@LindaOHio (192981)
• United States
5 Nov
I'm so glad you were able to get out and enjoy yourself. Hope you and your son have a good day.
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (45633)
•
6 Nov
It wasn't exciting by some people's standards, but it's what I like to do, and I am very appreciative of getting to go! Thank you, Linda.
2 people like this
@freelancermariagrace (28891)
• Philippines
5 Nov
Indeed, having a family that supports and cares for you is a true blessing. Not everyone is lucky enough to experience that kind of privilege.
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (45633)
•
6 Nov
I never, ever take it for granted that I have a good bunch of kids that love me. Thank you.
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (45633)
•
6 Nov
I love my son, but I want to see my other children, too. It's hard to work it all out at times. Thank you so much.
2 people like this
@grenery8 (18076)
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
7 Nov
@MarieCoyle perfectly understandable and you deserve it.welcome
1 person likes this
