You Just Can't Tell Anymore
By Jim Bauer
@porwest (112717)
United States
June 4, 2025 6:50pm CST
It used to be that Saturday Night Live created numerous laughs when they introduced the "Pat" character, which part of the joke was, no one knew if Pat was a woman or a man.
Could they even get away with a skit or a character like that nowadays? I'd guess probably not.
Today Pat's are ubiquitous and it's no joke. And God forbid you laugh at it, let alone get it wrong. There could be hell to pay.
I had to go for an echocardiogram today and my technician was Rhett. But, I had no idea if it was a male Rhett or a girl Rhett. Short hair, deeper voice, flat chested, but all the other parts were built like a woman. Literally. The mannerisms were very feminine, and Rhett had hips that looked primed for birthing.
I know a woman's features in certain areas when I see them. I've been around long enough to...tell what I am looking at.
Yet, at the same time, I was not sure.
It could have been a man as much as it could have been a woman. How should I address Rhett? Him? Her? I just had no idea and so I decided to keep things as generic as possible, even referring to Rhett by name when another technician came in rather than saying, "I told him..."
I simply said, "I told Rhett..."
My guess is that Rhett was a woman transitioning into a man. Like I said, I recognized enough female forms to strongly believe that.
But the fact that I don't know for sure makes for a world that I am living in very confusing in ways it never should be.
Rhett was friendly, and I didn't want to offend him or her or whatever Rhett was. But at the same time, how awkward and uncomfortable does it make things when you don't know?
We should not be forced to live in a world like this. It should also not be that complicated. If you want to make the world a less sociable place, one way to do it is to make everyone so confused about who and what we are we can't even communicate normally anymore.
Or, recognize the basics.
"Sir" or "ma'am" should be easy. Yet, here we are, literally living inside a skit written by comedians which was then a joke, that now has become a reality.
14 people like this
11 responses
@Ineeddentures (33875)
•
5 Jun 25
I hope you never get a trans woman doctor giving you a rectal exam.
Because dude , that a man playing dressy.up despite any surgery it might have had.
And if it goes with men then it's a gay man.
Nobody is forcing you to live in a world like this - just say it like you see it and if you are wrong so be it.
4 people like this
@porwest (112717)
• United States
5 Jun 25
Most of the time I am inclined to just go with my gut and let 'er rip. Normally it's an instant tell what's going on. But this one entirely confused the hell out of me. I had a strong inclination but just wasn't absolutely sure. In a rare moment for me, and I do mean rare, I tightened my lip. lol
I saw a meme the other day on X that said, "Transgenderism is the only mental illness demanding the rest of society adopt the patient's delusion as part of the patient's treatment."
How true that is.
3 people like this
@Ineeddentures (33875)
•
5 Jun 25
@porwest
I refuse steadfastly to be a part of the delusion and in a lot of these cases , the illusion also.
When these people die and there headstone has a woman's name on it, people in the future will be confused when the skeletons dug up are recognised and confirmed as male
1 person likes this
@kaylachan (84701)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
5 Jun 25
Because I'm blind, I've always been as generic as possible. And, as you, yourself, mentioned... heven forbid you get it wrong. I've slipped up at times, but most people were understanding about it, but others act so entitled if you use the wrong pronoun, it makes me sick. And, sadly, medical professionals are sometimes confused which can make healthcare all the more difficult.
4 people like this
@kaylachan (84701)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
13 Jul
@porwest That's a sad reality of life.
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (174208)
• United States
5 Jun 25
I mentioned a few days ago about getting yelled at when I called an obvious woman "ma'am". She had parked her shopping cart sideways across the aisle in Walmart, not leaving enough room to get my shopping cart past without either ramming into it and her or trekking all the way around to the next aisle when what I needed was two or three feet beyond her on that aisle. Luckily, I wasn't shopping by myself. When she started screaming about me assuming her gender, Pretty stepped up and told her to get her cart out of the way unless she wanted her butt in the dirt and then shoved the cart and woman out of the way.
I like to think I'm always polite and make an effort to stay polite in polite society. When an obvious woman doesn't like being called a polite term for her gender, there's something definitely wrong in society!
3 people like this
@DaddyEvil (174208)
• United States
7 Nov
@porwest Yeah, Pretty wasn't going to let that go!
1 person likes this
@porwest (112717)
• United States
7 Nov
@DaddyEvil On the flip side, if a man I call sir wants to be called ma'am and I get it wrong and he checks me on it, I'll kick her in the balls, and the matter will be settled quite immediately to my mind. lol
"Sir, with all due respect, if you were a ma'am, you would not be on the ground writhing in pain as you are...but at least the voice is right, now."
1 person likes this
@Deepizzaguy (122067)
• Lake Charles, Louisiana
5 Jun 25
It bothers me that some people are easily offended if they are referred to as "Sir" and not "Ma'am." and they make threats like you are going to jail. They are in my opinion "Poor devils."
3 people like this
@Deepizzaguy (122067)
• Lake Charles, Louisiana
5 Jun 25
@porwest We are only human beings and not robots
1 person likes this
@porwest (112717)
• United States
5 Jun 25
To me, you can't have a polite and cohesive society when you don't even have confidence in how to address someone. And you're right. WE are forced to know better or else. It's not right, in my opinion. The worst part is that if I do get it wrong, even if it is not at all intentional, I am now labeled a bigot by default without any consideration by the accusing party of what my own personal circumstances were.
The world should not be like this.
1 person likes this
@popciclecold (40215)
• United States
5 Jun 25
It is sad. But welcome to the changing world.
1 person likes this
@xstitcher (39002)
• Petaluma, California
5 Jun 25
Sad but true. I often walk down the street and can't tell if the person across the street or that just walked by me was a man or a woman.
1 person likes this
@xstitcher (39002)
• Petaluma, California
9 Nov
@porwest I don't think it's a good thing. 
1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (97912)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
5 Jun 25
I no longer try to figure people out I just accept what is in front of me and deal with them as best I can,
1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (97912)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
8 Jul
@porwest and I am the old bat in the attic you heard it here first
1 person likes this
@porwest (112717)
• United States
8 Jul
@RasmaSandra You live in an attic? I never knew. lol
1 person likes this
@porwest (112717)
• United States
8 Jul
How can you accept something in front of you if you don't know what it is? lol If someone hands you an apple and tells you it's an orange you can't just accept it's an orange. It's a fekking APPLE no matter what else someone tries to convince me it is.
Beyond that, why should I have to be the one to deal with them? I didn't cause the problem. They did. Let them figure things out...they are the ones confused about what they are and making it hard on me to figure it out.
One day I'll just stop trying to figure out what to call them genderwise and just call them freaks.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (128824)
• Gainesville, Florida
7 Jun 25
It's becoming rather common these days, isn't it? It's getting harder and harder to tell the gender of a lot of people nowadays, whether it's because they intentionally look that way, or if just by luck (or bad luck) of nature that their appearance is the way it is. Maybe there's something in the water we're drinking that is affecting everyone's' hormones? Who knows?
I guess what frustrates me about the whole thing is not that there is question about their gender identity, but how offended and upset they get if you call them something wrong. Good Lord, people, have a sense of humor about the situation! Back in my younger days when I was a heavy metal head banger with long hair, there was more than one occasion when someone would call me miss or ma'am, usually when they saw my long hair. But I never got mad about it. I'd say something like, "Well, I'm a guy, but you should see me in a dress!" or something like that.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (128824)
• Gainesville, Florida
13 Jul
@porwest Man, you nailed it on this one! Perfectly said.
1 person likes this
@porwest (112717)
• United States
8 Jul
It IS getting more and more common, and I think it IS on purpose. I mean, before you COULD tell. Now they are doing things to make things even more confusing. But you're right, they are like mouse traps with a piece of cheese on them. They've got the bar loaded up on the spring and are just waiting for you to take the bait so they can snap you.
It's not really about their identity in so much as it's about you being forced to accept their fantasy or else. They want to undue normal and redefine it. They want to change the language and control the conversation.
You are not allowed to just be you. But you MUST allow them to be them. What makes it worse is that it's not even whether to call them sir or ma'am anymore. It's all the pronouns. "I'm they." How the fekk am I supposed to know you want to be plural?
You know, I want to be a lot of things too, but in MY world I'm not allowed to pretend. Someone WILL call me out on that. So...why do they think they CAN'T be called out when THEY play pretend?
It's just nutso if you ask me, and I'll tell you...this game is getting really boring. I think MOST people are honestly tired of playing.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (222222)
• United States
5 Jun 25
There's something very generic about a lot of people today. I have run into more than one person that I couldn't identify gender.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (222222)
• United States
8 Jul
@porwest The Admitting person at my hubby's rehab center HAD to previously been a guy. Tall, deep voice, big hands, looked like a guy. They also had a resident that WAS a guy and wore women's clothing. He was going through the transition. I was very confused as well.
1 person likes this
@porwest (112717)
• United States
9 Jul
@LindaOHio It just boggles my mind anymore. Where in the hell did we go wrong? lol
1 person likes this
