Would you cut out a close member of your family?
By NJ Chicaa
@NJChicaa (124913)
United States
September 30, 2025 3:08pm CST
As I posted this morning my uncle (mother's brother) passed away last night. I don't have any details other than they think it was a heart attack. Not surprising when you are at least 500 pounds. Sad but not shocking.
My mother hasn't seen or spoken to her brother in at least 6 or 7 years. She also cut off her 2 sisters and her BIL. I won't go into the saga that caused it but she said many times that "they are dead to me" and told my dad she didn't want them at her funeral. Well now her brother is dead to her.
I called her this morning as soon as I heard the news as I knew she needed to know it. She sounded upset but it was a brief conversation as I was at work and didn't have really any details.
A theme of my life has been that for most of it my mother has cut off chunks of family for years at a time. She is equal opportunity--she will cut off her own blood relatives as well as my father's side of the family. I didn't have any control of that as a child but as an adult I just don't go along with it. She's cut ties with her own sisters and brother twice in the past 11 years and I have stayed in contact with them. Do I think what my mother says happened is okay? No but life is too short to completely cut off some of the closest members of your family. That mentality is just foreign to me. Can I cut off "friends" who act like asses? Sure. But not family.
I texted my mother's BFF to see how my mom was doing today and the response was "good". My sister just called me to have a longer conversation about it than we had this morning. I told her the little that I knew, we discussed the family dynamics, etc. My sister (who also in solidarity has cut them off) said that she would attend the memorial if she was welcome even if she just had to stand in the back. I asked her if my mother would attend her brother's service. She said that mom was wishy-washy on it. First it was a hard no but as the day progressed her attitude softened.
I am happy to hear that my sister wants to attend. I hope that my mother does the right thing and goes as well. They don't have to go through the receiving line or speak to my aunts and uncle but they should be there to show their respect for my uncle. Sure they can still be angry about the past but IMO it is important to honor long and close family ties. To stay away would be small and petty. . . again IMO.
Would (or have) you cut off family members? Why or why not?

9 people like this
4 responses
@LindaOHio (201993)
• United States
13h
As you know, I had the reverse happen to me. I moved out when I was 21; and my father disowned me. I haven't seen any of my family in over 50 years.
1 person likes this
@sallypup (66195)
• Centralia, Washington
30 Sep
It sure isn't cut or dry. My hubby's relatives, including his sister who lives about an hour from us, have cut him off. We don't have a clue why. I told one of my sisters to stay away from me and my property after something she did concerning another sister and sister's daughter. Yeah. I have a huge DON"t step on me doormat and I keep it in front of my door always.
1 person likes this
