That Winter Black Hole is Looming Already / myLot

Boise, Idaho

November 4, 2025 8:39am CST

I can feel the sad peeking in. I have had depression for as long as I can remember. My teen years was when it really took front stage. They thought I had an ulcer at one point and I have had all kinds of testing done. I knew very little about it back in the 60s but learned so much since. I have taken scads of anti-depressants and read scads of books. Talked to good psychiatrists and quacks. I've done the therapy too. I have what is called treatment-resistant depression or TRD. That means the meds don't help. Or not much anyway. I have also been thought to have SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) but the lights don't help. So, here I am ready to have my 74th birthday in a few more days and am feeling the symptoms of deep depression coming on. I have ways of keeping myself from falling clear down the black hole, but it takes concentration, fortitude and consistency which I don't always have. So, what I am saying is it comes and it goes, sometimes worse than other times. It's the pits. And......Life is wonder all the time. The picture is from freepik.com

7 people like this

6 responses

MARILYN

@Marilynda1225 (86906)

• United States

4 Nov

I'm sorry that you're dealing with depression and that it's been a struggle since your teen years. I hope you can avoid that black hole and enjoy your birthday.

3 people like this

celticeagle

@celticeagle (181734)

• Boise, Idaho

6 Nov

Thanks, I am trying.

OceanTiara

@RebeccasFarm (90746)

• Arvada, Colorado

4 Nov

I understand this though I don't have it. I hate summer. I have a different description of it though. I think it is just you don't like the winter..understandable. I mean sure why wouldn't you be depressed in a season you don't like? Maybe this doesn't make sense. But sorry you get the depression anyway no matter what.

2 people like this

celticeagle

@celticeagle (181734)

• Boise, Idaho

6 Nov

I have found things to enjoy about the winter. The fog and thunder and lightning when we get it here. I try to stay as positive as possible.

1 person likes this

OceanTiara

@RebeccasFarm (90746)

• Arvada, Colorado

10 Nov

@celticeagle It is tough to do so I know.

@DaddyEvil (161411)

• United States

4 Nov

I'm sorry you've had problems like that most of your life.

Pretty can get really depressed, too. She sees a therapist once a month and was just prescribed some kind of anti-depression injectable. It was just approved through Medicaid. I hope it helps her.

2 people like this

celticeagle

@celticeagle (181734)

• Boise, Idaho

6 Nov

Yeah, it's the pits. I hope this new anti-depressant is helpful to Pretty. Cami gets an injectable also.

1 person likes this

@DaddyEvil (161411)

• United States

6 Nov

@celticeagle Sometimes Pretty gets overwhelmed being the responsible person in our household now. She's the one who insisted, though. I don't feel sorry for her but it's the pits when I can't see to do stuff and she just wants to stay in bed and sleep when I need to know what appointments we have coming up or whether she's paid the bills for the month. (Pretty took over my checking account and PayPal account. I can't even check to see how much money we have anymore. She's replaced my passwords with her own.

RasmaSandra

@RasmaSandra (90702)

• Daytona Beach, Florida

4 Nov

I have learned that keeping myself busy online and thinking positively and of good things I manage to keep my anxiety and any sadness I might have away. Virtual hugs and I hope you will be all rith and have a happy birthday,

1 person likes this

celticeagle

@celticeagle (181734)

• Boise, Idaho

6 Nov

I have learned this same thing. It is just hard to keep positive. I work at it daily. Thank you for the good thoughts.

1 person likes this