That Winter Black Hole is Looming Already

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I can feel the sad peeking in. I have had depression for as long as I can remember. My teen years was when it really took front stage. They thought I had an ulcer at one point and I have had all kinds of testing done. I knew very little about it back in the 60s but learned so much since. I have taken scads of anti-depressants and read scads of books. Talked to good psychiatrists and quacks. I've done the therapy too. I have what is called treatment-resistant depression or TRD. That means the meds don't help. Or not much anyway. I have also been thought to have SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) but the lights don't help. So, here I am ready to have my 74th birthday in a few more days and am feeling the symptoms of deep depression coming on. I have ways of keeping myself from falling clear down the black hole, but it takes concentration, fortitude and consistency which I don't always have. So, what I am saying is it comes and it goes, sometimes worse than other times. It's the pits. And......Life is wonder all the time. The picture is from freepik.com