Problem solved.

Tweet

So tomorrow is the day that is most accursed among days - Valentine’s Day. Perfidious social construct invented by florists, chocolatiers, card makers and hopeful maidens. The custom is that if a man doesn’t put on an expensive enough display for some woman who thinks quite highly of herself, then it’s not just his dinner that he won’t be getting. I eschew all such nonsense of course but always comply. But I was greatly encouraged when I heard today on the radio an English florist appealing to men who want to impress their princesses NOT to buy them roses. This was music to my ears. The lady was pointing out that in these northerly climes February is not when roses naturally bloom. Consequently they must be sourced from elsewhere on the planet which in turn leaves a very large carbon footprint and contributes to the degradation of the natural environment. There are two ways around this problem. One is to dismiss the obvious as ‘fake news’ and reconfigure scientific discovery to suit your own purposes. The other way is my way. Instead of buying two dozen red roses at 4 times what they will cost when all the fuss abates, buy a different flower that will not do irreparable damage to either my pocket or the air we all breathe. So I’ve bought for my princess a plant that will grace our garden for years to come and I know she’ll love it. Unfortunately its name will probably not pass the vulgarity test on Mylot - Pink Pu$$y Willow, my wife’s favourite plant.