1976 Songs: I Never Cry

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Not to make you feel old or anything…. Seriously, if you’re old, you don’t need any songs to remind you that you are old. But we’re in the musical time machine, traveling back half a century to look at what was popular (or what I was listening to) then. And just where do you go after Jimmy Buffett and Neil Diamond???? Of course! I Never Cry - Alice Cooper Here’s a shocker for you: the B-side of this 45 was the quasi-title song of the album, “Go to Hell.” My mother liked the song! It’s a funny song, with lines like “You’d even force-feed a diabetic a candy cane.” Alice Cooper has a marvelous sense of humor. He’s also a recovering alcoholic. This song (and a number of the things he wrote after Welcome to My Nightmare) deals with his problems. (It’s a common thing: Jason Isbell said he wrote his drinking problems in the songs that became his breakthrough album Southeastern because he didn’t want to forget what he’d been through.) Cooper called this power ballad “an alcoholic confession.” I have a lot of friends online and IRL (in real life) who’ve struggled, as well as many celebrities I like (John Hiatt, the late Warren Zevon, and actors John Larroquette and Anthony Hopkins). They celebrate the anniversary of their first day of sobriety the same way you and I celebrate birthdays. If you want some good laughs, listen to Larroquette’s presentations at AA conventions. If you want a good song, listen to this one. I Never Cry Written by Alice Cooper and Dick Wagner Recorded by Alice Cooper From Alice Cooper Goes to Hell, 1976 Break a heart of stone: