Why is it so bad to be a young parent?

Australia
December 3, 2006 6:46am CST
I'm 22 and the mother of a 3 year old wonderful little boy. I'm proud to be a mum and most of all my sons mum. I had my son when i was 19. and when people ask me how old i am and how old my son is alot of people tend to have a not so nice response. I may be young and my son may not have been planned but i love him and wouldnt change it for the world. I'm a good mother and i think more people should respect people that have the guts to say i dont care what society thinks the correct age of having children is. Just because a woman is young doesnt mean they should be looked down apon when being responsible. If your a young mum like me or just interested please by all means send me a message :) Have a good day.
28 people like this
184 responses
@reinydawn (11649)
• United States
3 Dec 06
I was a young mom, I had 2 boys by the time I was 22. I was 19 and 22 when they were born. They are now 20 and 23 - and I'm not a grandma yet, whew!!!! I am definitely not ready for that!!! I always look younger than I really am and people find it hard to beleive that I have grown children. Sometimes I wish I could have waited, and sometimes I'm glad I had them young. I still think 19 was too young to have children, but I don't know what I'd do without my kids... I don't know that I would reccommend it to anyone, but I am glad it's working out well for you. Hang in there and don't worry too much about what other say.
• United States
4 Dec 06
My mom was 14 when she got pregnant with me, so don't feel bad. People just look down upon it because they see you as potentially irresponsible person. I agree that couples having children before the prime of their life is a bad decision. Mostly because they could be in college, or just starting their carreer and have to put that to a halt to handle thier new child. It just seems like unless you are ready you can damage your own life more than anything from having a child before the time is right for you.
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Dec 06
I was also a young mom at 17 and 19...I'm now 40 and my oldest is 22 and out of the house. I'm GLAD I had them young cause if I had young ones now or even teens at home...I dunno, I kinda like my freedom and space now. My son and his g/f are wanting to start a family..I say "WAIT"!..Then I have to ponder a little...Wait for what? To get married..yes. They have so much energy at this age..20's maybe it's a good idea to have children early.
1 person likes this
• Austria
4 Dec 06
Its not bad to be a young parent as long as you are doing your responsibilities as a parent to your child. As long as you can give due and enough support to your child then you can never be bad. Being a good parent can not be determined by your age. Its on how you care, love, and support your child.
4 people like this
• Indonesia
4 Dec 06
I agree. You don't have to think what poeple say. The important thing is you can do your responsibilities as a parent to your child, love & care that you give.
@binky22 (33)
• United States
4 Dec 06
I understand how you feel. I am a 22yr old mom of 2. I have 2 beautiful daughters. One is 2yrs old and the other is 1 month old. I love being a mom as well. Yea it can be stressful at times especially at the ages my girls are at but i wouldn't trade them for the world. I would trade their dad but I love them and enjoy being with them.
4 people like this
@ssgucluck (107)
• India
4 Dec 06
well being a mother is a big responsibility. one must be matured enough to raise a child. but if the mother is matured enough age is not a hinderance i hope
• India
4 Dec 06
yes it is truely a big responsibility to become mom as she has to handle all the work as husband parent n than kids whole in the family of course she the the one of the whole n soul As small kids in the age of 27 is ok but in age of 22 is really very difficult to adjust As u have no kownlege also As to became amom is also reposible work to do n also need matrued enough totake care of the kids
@mbs730 (2151)
• Canada
4 Dec 06
Just because you are young does not make you a bad mother. I know of much older mothers who I would not consider to be "good" mothers. I think people make this kind of stereotype because if they automatically hear of a young parent they think "whats the rush, you have your life ahead of you, or this is the time to enjoy your freedom" or "you should have been more responsible". I hate stereotypes. Hmm giving me an idea for a new discussion... well anyway just know if you are a good mother, that is all you need to know and you do your best.. forget what those others think!! Is that really important what they think?? You do what you need to do, you are responsible and a good parent, take satisfaction in knowing that!! It will pay off. Hope this helps some.
@krysy1982 (1042)
• United States
4 Dec 06
I am a young mom. I am 24 with 4 children. I completely understand what you feel.My oldest will be 7 next month.
3 people like this
@wahmoftwo (1298)
• United States
4 Dec 06
Obviously I wouldn't advise anyone to go out and get pregnant when they are young, but berating them after they have already done it helps no one. I had two children by the time I was twenty and I get remarks quite often. They usually aren't too bad. Most of the time they just say "you look so young" and I just respond with a thank you and no explanation. I try to remember that the only judgement that I have to worry about is God's. It is hard sometimes though.
@vikkyhyd (75)
• India
3 Dec 06
you will have to face many problems in a very tender age..even the delivery of baby might be a risk to mothers life..
2 people like this
• Australia
4 Dec 06
vikkyhyd , you can have complications during pregnancy and labour no matter what age you are, be young doesnt mean your more prone to things going wrong if anything beyoung means you may be stronger. but not always like i said it doesnt depend on your age it depends on your health and nature taking its course.
3 people like this
• United Arab Emirates
4 Dec 06
You can also have complications when you are above 32 years of age, not to mention at that time even the fetus is at risk of congenital abnormalities. I think that 20s are the best years for having children. But it's definitely a personal choice.
@Aali311 (6118)
• United States
4 Dec 06
My doctor told me from the age of eighteen to thirty is the best for a woman to reproduce, her body will handle the pregnancy well, I was twenty when I got pregnant with my first child and was worried I was too young, he said not to worry,it's the best time for me to have a baby.
1 person likes this
• Romania
4 Dec 06
we are humans..and ach ppl is diferent from other ppl so they think in diferent ways and do diferent things,one of us are beganing to be more matur then others.so....its not bad for you having a baby allrady.more than that...your very proud of him.its.good.its really really good.i want to have a babt to.and i was at your 19 age when i was thinking about.im 22 now...like you and i am dispera to have a baby. the maternat instinct came more quickly to me and you.that is not a problem.for the older pll its strange becouse they are looking at us..young mothers like we are kids and we are not able to have such responsabilities...but they are wrong....of corse a baby its a very big responsability but we can handle it.... take care of you and your baby
2 people like this
@frosthon (2250)
• Singapore
4 Dec 06
I have always wanted to be a father at a very young age, about 22 - 24. I think that having kids when you are young is a very good idea. You won't have a huge generation gap within you and the kids. Those who looked down on you actually envy you for being so fortunate. Think of it this way, do you think when you want a kid, you can just get it? Forget about those people with those stupid comments, just not worth it. You get a thumbs up from me for having children at a younger age. I have friends who already have 3 kids when they are 24, isn't it nice? Another thing is when you have kids at maybe 30 plus, you have to work longer cause you have to support your kids for studies.
@massaj03 (4371)
• United States
4 Dec 06
It's not a bad thing to be a young parent at all. The bad thing is when the younger parents are not ready and even when the child is born it doesn't change them or make them grow up faster. Some are ready or adapt some don't realize how. I've seen young parents be great moms and dads, and of course I've seen some that didn't deserve to have their child.
2 people like this
@cogswelj (45)
• United States
4 Dec 06
You're quite correct that your choice to be a mom and your parenting role is to be respected and admired. In general, perhaps "society" is apprehensive about having a child at a young age or before marriage because often there is an inability to meet responsibilities. However, once you are a young parent you are on the track and the train has left the station. You've got to keep going, not look back, and become the best mom you are capable of being. There is a child that needs you and that is what matters. Forget what "society" thinks. Good luck.
2 people like this
• India
4 Dec 06
u might be right but it depends only on their maturity a women can get married even in 15 if she has maturity .
2 people like this
• United States
4 Dec 06
I had my first child when i was 19 also.i do not know why people judge younger mothers.their is no right age to have children i believe that young mothers are better because they can keep up with their children more than a 40 year old mom could i do not think society should judge us.
2 people like this
@killailla (1301)
• Canada
4 Dec 06
I am 20 my son is 5, lol young or what? People treated me like crap all the time, however anyone that knows me now treats me so very good because they ahve seen what a fabulous job I have done so far raising my child, these are the people I care about not strangers, to hell what they think! There are alot of young moms and most are just as good!
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (123530)
• United States
4 Dec 06
Young people can be good parents, it often is just harder for them. Here's to you for doing your best. If your child is well cared for then your age is no one's business.
2 people like this
• Philippines
4 Dec 06
who said so that being a young parent is bad, for me if you're able enough to bear a child at young age, then why not, age doesn't matter, as long as you are responsible, then it good.. have a nice day.
2 people like this
• United States
4 Dec 06
I support you. I'm glad you are proud of your baby no matter what other people think of you:) I plan to be a young parent. I would never want to have a kid when I'm older because A) I want four children, B) I don't want a huge generation gap and C) I have more time if I were to have a newborn right now then I will in a few years. Good luck:)
2 people like this
• United States
4 Dec 06
I dont think that being a parent at a young age is a bad thing if you can handle the responsibility of caring for another human.
2 people like this
• United States
4 Dec 06
I became a mother at 19 also. I am 25 and going to have my 3rd child next summer. I dont't think there is anything wrong with being a young mother. I have never been looked at differently because I had children at such a young age. I think in todays world its getting more and more common. People who "look down upon you" are ignorant and should mind their own business. =)