How long is long enough?

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I grew up learning if someone’s spouse or significant other passed away, the surviving spouse should wait a year before they considered starting another relationship. Sounds old fashioned now, for some. It was supposed to be done out of respect. A year ago I had a cousin die that I was close to. Her death was not easy, she had cancer and just faded away. She was married for many years and her husband was a lovely and caring husband and father to their two daughters. They didn’t live far from me, I was at the service and saw the family that were able to attend. It wasn’t long that he not only did their old habit of calling once a month or so to check in, but started asking me out for lunch, etc. Before she got so sick we all often visited or met for lunch. But he wanted to pick me up instead of meet me, or for me to drive to his house and spend time with him. He made it rather obvious…I met up with him once for lunch at a local restaurant, and I drove my own car. I was rather uncomfortable about this as it had only been six months or so since she had passed away,but I also knew it would be ok, at least in my own mind, to meet him in a public place. But he wants more and keeps calling with the invitations. It’s been over a year since cousin died, yes. But I’m just not interested. And he just doesn’t give up trying. I hate hurting his feelings but in my mind my cousin is his wife and always will be. He is so persistent, but I have no time and no desire for a relationship at the present time. He just turns a deaf ear when I try to explain that to him. I hate hurting his feelings.