What do you feel about sending kid's to there Room?

@minerc (1373)
United States
January 28, 2007 2:11pm CST
Ive seen alot on spanking. Just thought I would ask what about sending them to there room? I have watched Dr.Phil and other parenting type shows, they say No don't because they will play they learn nothing, and other's say yeah it is good, while others say take everything out of there room and then send them to there room. My opinion is this I have sent my child to his/her room I tell them to cool off when they can come back out and discuss the problem with me. Usually if they are in big trouble I use time out in a corner, or up against a wall. So tell me What is your opinion?
6 people like this
37 responses
@GardenGerty (113528)
• United States
29 Jan 07
I had a young child, a relative, living with me for awhile.She had behavior issues. I gave her a spot where she could be "invisible" but safe, in her room. Sometimes she just needed that place where it was okay to be mad. She was not allowed to break things, kick and scream, though. I think it is good to have a "safe spot" in or out of the child's room, where they can go be mad and think it over. Something similar worked with my son, but that was about twenty years before I understood what I was doing, it just worked. I would tell heim to go sit on the stairs until he was through crying or pouting, and when he was through he was welcome to come back. For my daughter it did not work. She would just scream louder, thinking I could not hear her, because I could not see her.
• Netherlands
29 Jan 07
My kids also do have different needs when they are in trouble, one of them goes to his room by himself ( he doesn't want to be around and needs his space to cool down ) and will talk and discuss when he's cooled down, my daughter will go sit in a corner and say sorry after a few minutes and start hugging me and our youngest son is put on the stairs to think things over. They are 8 and a half, 5 and a half and 4 years old.. And they still tell me everyday I am their loveliest mother, like they have two other pair of mothers in the closet, lol.. Anyway, in the end I think it matters mostly that they will think about their actions and get philosophic feedback on their behaviour, so they will think about it more conscious.. So that they will act and behave more conscious and grow to wonderful people with a sense of respect and abundance to everything in life.. ;-)
@minerc (1373)
• United States
30 Jan 07
Thank you
• Philippines
29 Jan 07
Well for my own opinion, that would be a very mature way to discipline our children. Its like treating them as young adults, instead of the usual spanking. Also, its a good way of handling our own emotions, as we all know, sudden outburst of anger my lead to negative outcomes. When my son had done really bad things, I usually have him "faced the wall" for 30 minutes to 1 hour. I let him realize that what he did is wrong and caused harm to others. It works effectively for me.
2 people like this
29 Jan 07
Hi Cyndhirella How old is your son? Isn't 30 minutes to 1 hour too long?
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Jan 07
i hate the thought having having to spank my daughter, i have only done so a few times when i thought it was completely nesscary, even then i hated doing so, i much rather like the outcome and effect on sending her to the corner, or to her room, when i send her to her room i make her sit on her bed so that she doesnt play with her toys and so that i dont have to remove anything from her room, if she gets up and starts playing i take away whatever toy it is for a certain period of time, after being 3 days without her game boy, she sits wuielty on her bed and when shes all calm she says mommy i want to tell you what i did wrong. and then we talk, after the few spankings she got she said she was sorry, but didnt want to discuss why she was apanked, i think "cool off" time is the best way to do so.
2 people like this
@minerc (1373)
• United States
30 Jan 07
Thank You!
@armywifey (883)
• United States
28 Jan 07
I send my children to their rooms but I have a rule that they aren't allowed to have any electronics going while in there and being punished. No Tv or computers or video games. They have to read or do something productive while in time out. I don't think it cause any harm and I also think that people take too much stock in the opinions of Dr. Phil. I don;t think there is anything wrong with them playing as long as they know they are in trouble that is all that counts.
2 people like this
@minerc (1373)
• United States
28 Jan 07
I appreciate your honesty. Thank You for your response.
@MrNiceGuy (4147)
• United States
29 Jan 07
I think it depends on the child. It usually makes sense to send a child to their room, but if that isn't really a punishment to them, they won't learn the lesson. I think you are on track with the timeout thing, but spanking is also a useful tool.
2 people like this
@kathy77 (7488)
• Australia
29 Jan 07
Yes well I watch Dr.Phil as well and he is right that if you send your children to their rooms when they misbehave that they will play, I do believe that you are doing it the right way there is nothing wrong with what you are doing so I cannot respond any more than you have as I used to do this while my children were growing up as well.
2 people like this
• Canada
28 Jan 07
I don't think I'd ever send my daughter to her room for discipline. Not only because she has toys and stuff in her room, but because I don't want her associating her room with punishment, or feeling that when I send her to bed I'm punishing her.
@minerc (1373)
• United States
28 Jan 07
Never thought of it that way. My kids are pre teens now so they wouldnt Think of it like that, but back when they were little I probally should have. Thanks for your post.
29 Jan 07
Excellent point Kristypants!! I don't send my son to his room for punishment - I find using leverage like television or playstation time is much more effective - but it's also a very good point that the child could begin to associate their bedroom with punishment, and a bedroom should have a loving, cosy, warm association - especially considering a lot of children have trouble falling asleep anyway : )
• United States
29 Jan 07
You said you did not want you children to associate their bedrooms with punishment.So you would rather they associate electronis with punishment?Electronics are needed for every aspect of life,.If they do not have a book they could read, then have them do a report on something of your chooseing,they could use their computer to get the infomation .Kids of all ages hate to do any kind of report,so what better punishment then having to learn something. I have five children,and we made them stand in the corner until they hit a certin age, you will know when they hit that age.Then we made them read and do a report on what they read.
1 person likes this
@Bev1986 (1427)
• United States
28 Jan 07
My kids are older and they honestly have always been very well behaved kids. Their punishment if they did something wrong has always been to be grounded from using the computer and phone. With my girls, that is a bad punishment! lol! They aren't big TV watchers, so that's not a bad punishment, but they both love the computer!
1 person likes this
@minerc (1373)
• United States
28 Jan 07
I can relate with you some on that, we just took our daughters digital camera away and youd of thought we hit her. The camera and computer, her favorites. Thanks for the Post.
• United States
28 Jan 07
It's pointless. I never got "go to your room" time because that's where I was going, anyway. Why would I want to hang around my parents if they were mad at me?
1 person likes this
@minerc (1373)
• United States
28 Jan 07
Good Point, My kids hasnt reached that stage yet but I will keep it in mind for the years coming. Thanks for the Post.
@positiv1 (10)
• United States
29 Jan 07
As a father of 5 sons, there have been a lot of timeouts. It's a great solution and gives them time to think about what they've done and be ready for the repercussions that will follow. Dr. Phil is a bright man but at the same time, his ideology doesn't always come handy when dealing with specific incidents.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Jan 07
I use timeouts with my children. When I send them to their rooms all they do is get toys out. It is not like they are thinking about what they did wrong in there. They are just happy to escape and play and then annoyed when I call them out to discuss things. I do a timeout of a couple minutes then we talk about why they got the timeout.
1 person likes this
@inked4life (4226)
• United States
29 Jan 07
I send my kids to their room. They have very little in the way of toys and such in there as most of it is in their playroom in the basement. It's more of a cooling down thing than pure punishment. It's easier to talk to them when they are calm (also gives you time to cool down as well so that you can talk rationally)
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Jan 07
I send my children to their rooms and i don't see anything wrong with it. They don't play with their toys or anything like that... it gives them time to think about what they done, and me time to cool down. its best for both of us
1 person likes this
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
29 Jan 07
I feel taking everything out of the room is a good idea they need to be alone and consider their actions and why they were sent to their room. I agree with you and think your doing a good job of parenting.
@wmaharper (2316)
• United States
29 Jan 07
Well My 2 year old only has to go to his room when he is being especially difficult, when his actions have earned a time out and it has proven to be uneffective, we put him in his bed, and tell him he can either calm down, or take a nap, and we'll give him a few minutes to decide what he wants to do. He always opts to calm down, but if he acts up again, he knows he is going to be put to bed, for rest time...
1 person likes this
@uncducks (31)
• United States
29 Jan 07
If you do send you children to their rooms,you have to make sure they understand that they are to play with nothing.If they have any books,not comics,make them read.Reading is one of the worst things a kid would want to do.Depending on the age,you could have them write a report on what they read. Most children these days have a computer in their rooms,so sending them there with out watching them is not punishment.If you have to watch them,your the one thats being punished. Standing in the corner was what we did with our five children and they hated it.They had to keep their nose to the corner of the wall.The more trouble they were in,the longer they stayed there but do not leave them there longer then a half hour,that always seemed to be long enough. So your idea is about the same as most people I know.
@ronaldinu (12439)
• Malta
29 Jan 07
I am not in favour of spanking. When my child has one of those bad tantrums, yes I am in favour of some kind of punishment such as sending them to their room. I do not use this form of punishment often. So when I do, he really takes it at heart.
1 person likes this
@lisado (1230)
• United States
29 Jan 07
No, I wouldn't send a child to his room. A bedroom should be a place for sleeping and having fun. If a child thinks of their bedroom as a place of punishment, it no longer is their safe haven. I would have a seperate place just for "time outs". Also, if they have toys in their rooms, how is it punishment? When they get in trouble they get to go to their rooms to play? That never made sense to me, either.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Jan 07
when my 2yr old is throwing a fit and i put her in her room, she gets upset. she knows that she cant be out here with us and she gets mad. i make her stay in there until she stops acting up. sometimes she screams and hits her door 10mins or more, but she cant come out until she stops. she doesnt immediately play with her toys and alot of the time when i go to get her, she'll be in her bed. i always tell her why she had to go to her room instead of staying out in the living room playing with us and her toys.
1 person likes this
@XxAngelxX (2831)
• Canada
29 Jan 07
Many times I have sent my children to their rooms and I have to say I disagree with Dr. Phil. My children don't go to their rooms and play with their toys, they go and sit on their beds and think about well probably how much they hate me, lol. But it does work and it gives us both a cooling off period and then we can discuss the issue once we've both calmed down.
1 person likes this