Is A Loan Worth Your Self Respect?
By katzbee
@katzbee (91)
Canada
April 23, 2007 10:16pm CST
A young female friend in her late thirties who has been a widow for just a year, recently needed a short term loan to do some emergency repair to her home. So she went to her bank to talk to the Loans manager, who was not only a family friend, but a server and elder at her church.
He turned her down flatly, even though he was aware that she was about to get a large settlement in the not too distant future.
A few days later the Loans manager turns up at her house to offer her the loan. She was more than happy to accept it. Until he told her the terms. He wanted them to have an ongoing secret affair. Upset and disgusted, she chased him away from her house.
When she calmed down a few days later she called him and told him that she was going tell his wife and report him to the Bank manager. He got flustered, cried and sobbed and pleaded with her to keep it to herself and not tell anyone and he guaranteed her a loan with no strings.
She never told anyone, instead she took the loan. But when she went to collect it she took along a witness. Their Preacher, and she insisted on having the Bank manager at the signing of the loan papers.
The questions:Did she do the right thing by not telling his wife or the Bank manager but instead taking the loan? and What would you have done,under the same circumstances?
8 people like this
11 responses
@earth2jacq (1502)
• Philippines
24 Apr 07
The nerve of that loan manager. To think that he is an elder at their church. To grant and review loans are his main job as a loan manager how could he use his influence for his personal gain. It is not the job of the loan manager to "guarantee a loan with no strings" if one is really qualified for a loan. You know if I was that young female after that indecent proposal I would not taken that loan. What I'll do is to find another bank that could loan me the money I need. Afterall if I am really qualified for a loan, no bank will refuse me.
@earth2jacq (1502)
• Philippines
24 Apr 07
Yup. Exposing this nasty manager is a good option as well as it would prevent him from victimizing other women.
1 person likes this
@mizrak07 (557)
• Philippines
24 Apr 07
I would have told his wife, the bank manager and the preacher. He can't be trusted, they have to know the truth about what kind of man they're dealing with. If he could do that to a family friend then you could imagine what he's capable of doing to other people. Worst is he might tell them a different version of what actually transpired between us, so I think it's better they hear me first.
4 people like this
@caribe (2465)
• United States
24 Apr 07
Actually, I think she handled the situation pretty well and did the right thing. The Loan Manager got his his world rocked a little bit and she still got her loan with out losing her respect, the way I see it and she had witnesses to the loan.
@katzbee (91)
• Canada
24 Apr 07
Thanx Caribe for responding to my discussion. I appreciate your views on the situation. I always welcome alternative outlooks at any situation. You are right she did get the loan without having to lose her dignity and she did have respected witnesses. Thanx Again.
1 person likes this
@valmiki9 (1171)
• India
25 Apr 07
she should have reported the matter to the higher authorities of the bank and asked them to releve the loan mager of his job which he was misusing.This washer duty.
His wife does not come into the picture because she mu7st know the nature of husband she has.
1 person likes this
@katzbee (91)
• Canada
25 Apr 07
Good points. Reporting it to the bank's higher authorities might have been a good way to fix his applecart. But with a good lawyer on his side it might be pretty difficult to convince the courts or even his superiors, that he actually made the proposition, since they were alone when it was offered. Thanx for responding.
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
24 Apr 07
I would have told the bank manager and his wife! I would have also recorded the conversation when he came to the house, where he was pleading and crying, proving that he'd put her in an awkward position, and I would have sent that tape to local television stations, radio stations and newspapers, exposing the little snot for what he is!!
@katzbee (91)
• Canada
24 Apr 07
Hello danishcanadian, How's it going, eh? You tagged him right,SNOT. And I bet he is little all over, from head to toe. I do agree that she should have exposed him, so that the next Lady that comes along for a loan is not propositioned or molested. Thanx for responding.
1 person likes this
@Gemmygirl1 (2867)
• Australia
24 Apr 07
I think she did the right thing to be honest, she told him what she though, threatened to tell & he then felt guilty & offered her the loan.
She didn't lose any self respect yet she still got the loan she require & no-one was hurt in the process.
If he'd done it again she should have told the bank manager & his wife but i think she handles the problem very well.
I would have done 2 things - 1) exactly as she did which in the end got her the loan she needed or 2) i could have tried another bank or even tried to get the loan through another person at the same bank!
3 people like this
@katzbee (91)
• Canada
24 Apr 07
Thanx Gemmygirl1, You have offered quite a different perspective of the situation. Thats why I like myLot and all of the fine people who participate in these discussions. Yours is truly an eye opener. I think the Lady thought that dealing with a man who is a friend would've been more secure and that he would've been more compassionate.
1 person likes this
@Stiletto (4579)
•
24 Apr 07
I would have done exactly what she did. Her main priority was to get the money and she succeeded in doing that without conceding to his pretty disgraceful demands! By threatening to tell his wife she also made him suffer and he deserved to suffer for trying to pull a stunt like that. If she had told the bank manager she wouldn't have got the loan so she would have been the loser. As for telling his wife really what would that have achieved? I suppose maybe some short term satisfaction for your friend but I suspect the fall-out from that disclosure would have been pretty wide-ranging, particularly as the Loans Manager (and I assume his wife also) was a family friend.
1 person likes this
@katzbee (91)
• Canada
25 Apr 07
You are so right. Telling his wife and the Bank manager would not have only cause her not to get the loan, but the Schlitz to hit the fan. And sure would have spattered it not only on the walls of his office but in the whole community. Thanx for responding.
1 person likes this
@gemini1960 (1161)
• Philippines
24 Apr 07
I dont know what to response, im a man, and always takes a different opinion as a woman, for me its not wrong to take the loan without string attached and by not reporting it to the wife or to the bank manager, everyone deserved a second chance, what do you think?, if doing so he will reform then it is worth the loan for her.
@soccermom (3198)
• United States
25 Apr 07
I would have reported him to the bank manager. His actions were not only morally wrong, but from a business standpoint totally unethical! I am not a "sue happy" person, but if this woman wanted to I bet she'd have a heckuva case, ultimately his actions reflect upon his employer in the eyes of the law. It screams out of court settlement, then she wouldn't need to worry about the loan.
@katzbee (91)
• Canada
25 Apr 07
I like your thinking. And I don't think its "Sue Happy".
But as I commented to another writer who responded along similar lines. With a good lawyer on his side, it would be hard to prove, since when he made his proposition they were alone.
Thanx for responding.
@stefan_diego (556)
• Canada
24 Apr 07
Well this is a dog eat dog world so it's either you get taken advantage or you take advantage of them. She is still quite generous not to report this person. If I were in her shoes, i'd be getting that loan and still report the man because I know to myself that I'm qualified to have that loan & I will be able to pay it out of the said settlement but instead I was turned down & later on was offered with some indecent proposal? In fact that man has no right to bargain for her silence so she can get the loan. I guess she really want that money so bad she never thought about it.
1 person likes this
@lightningMD (5931)
• United States
24 Apr 07
I think she did a great job of beating him at his own game. She got her loan,he didnt get her and she has a great witness. I think she was a very fast thinker. Hopefully this man has learned his lesson.
