Do You Get Fed Up Sometimes!!

@kathy77 (7488)
Australia
May 1, 2007 9:14pm CST
Hi Friends and Members, Recently a friend told me of the trouble her fussy family caused her at dinner, forever wanting different meals. So she told them, there would now only be two choices - to take it, or leave it. What would you really do as you do get fed up when you go to all the trouble of making something nice for your children and then they won't eat it don't you.
11 people like this
26 responses
@patgalca (13679)
• Orangeville, Ontario
2 May 07
It's been a long time since I had this problem because now I pretty much only cook what I know they like. However, the two girls do have different tastes. If my 10 year old doesn't like what I have cooked, she eats it anyway - not voraciously, but she eats it. When they were younger if they refused to eat they either went without or made something themselves - usually a peanut butter and jam sandwich. But they had to make it themselves. I was not going to make two different meals. I remember one time I made lasagna and my younger daughter said "yuck". I insisted she just take a couple of bites. She ended out having two servings. She NEVER asks for seconds. My 14 year old is not much of a meat eater but she eats just enough to satisfy me. She needs the protein and she knows it. Now at 10 and 14, I pretty much know what they like and at every meal (whether they like it or not) they always say "Thank you, Mom" when they start eating. I really don't see the point in making meals they don't like. I do get sick of making the same things over and over again but I have come up with some new recipes from allrecipes.com which they have loved.
4 people like this
@judyt00 (3505)
• Canada
2 May 07
I always was the take it or leave it dinner parent. In fact, if it was something particularly expensive, I'd refrigerate it, and re-serve it the next night
4 people like this
@Darkwing (21591)
2 May 07
I never really had that problem. My two liked fairly similar things, except for when it came to vegetables on a Sunday. One liked one thing and not another, and vice versa. So, I just served them up what they preferred and what they didn't want, they had to go without. I think there's a limit to how far you can go with cooking different food for your kids. It would take far too long if you had say, four kids and none of them liked the same things. I think your friend did the right thing and that rather than go hungry, they will be less picky in what they eat. Brightest Blessings my friend.
@jeanbug23 (567)
• Philippines
2 May 07
I'm being fed up when something I have done for their own good is not being appreciated. I'm also impatient to people who does not value time, those who feel they want to be waited for too long.
4 people like this
• United States
2 May 07
Seriously that's the way it has always been in my house, even when I was growing up myself. You either eat what mom fixes for dinner or go without. I'm not gonna be making something special for each member of the family just because there is something they didn't like about the meal I have prepared. And unless they plan on cooking for themselves than they'll just have to deal with what I fix.
• United States
2 May 07
I too, grew up with that eat whats put before you training. And I did the same with my own children. Family rule at our table was you had to eat at least one teaspoon of all food offered, then you could have more of what ever was there. In that way my children did learn to like a huge variety of foods. The exception was if a certain food gagged someone, I have one son who can't stand cottage cheese and my daughter will not eat a mushroom to save her life. The eating some of everything was not a big deal to my kids [or to me] as it was something they had done since starting to eat table food.
• United States
2 May 07
sometimes i feel that kids these days have too many choices.have certain meals on certain days,no menus.this is your dinner.they will have to learn to compromise,and wait for the day of the week when their favorite is being served!
3 people like this
• United States
2 May 07
Hello kathy77, I grew up with you thanked God for the food you got, and for someone to prepare it for you. Two choices is to many choices. We were told as kids, eat what is in front of you or go hungry. My mom was a great cook, but we soon learned to appreciate all her hard work and the fact that we had food to eat. Not every family does. Maybe your friend should have her children make the menu for the week. This way she can go over what the kids like and at the same time inculcate into the meal what they like but only one choice per meal. She as a mother must though decide if what the kids like is good for them or not. Anyway maybe she ought to also help her children be thankful for the fact they have food. Many children, even here in the USA. go to bed hungry ever night. They would love what ever your friend cooks. Take care, Jadona2006
2 people like this
@kathy77 (7488)
• Australia
4 May 07
Hi Jadona, Yes I agree with you completely that we should be thankful to God for what we receive without him we may have nothing in our lives. Your mother must be a wonderful woman to of taught you this. God Bless
@Debs_place (10551)
• United States
2 May 07
I would never have started cooking multiple meals. I worked full time and I am not a short order cook. I would try to plan things that everyone liked but if not...go hungry. The person who did not like the meal was free to make a PB & J - nothing else. My son was like a surgeon, he dissected his food, taking out the teeny bits of onions and mushrooms and tomatoes...but he never for a different meal. I was NOT going to raise a spoiled brat who thought the world revolved around him. And now, at 21, he admits...I raised him right!
2 people like this
@emeraldisle (13158)
• United States
2 May 07
Well I grew up with that rule and many nights I went to bed hungry because of it. I could not eat what my mother made. It made me sick just to look at it some times let alone try to eat it. We don't do that with my neice. We cook the meal for the family and if she doesn't want it she gets a choice of a simple sandwich (tuna or something similar) but not a whole other major cooked meal. I do this for two reasons, one I know what it's like to not like what is made and I won't do that to her especially when it's not that hard to make her something simple. The other reason is and some people might want to think about this, your kid goes to school and states "I didn't get to eat last night" and they say it a couple of times over a couple of days...guess who will be on your door before you can blink your eyes. Oh yes Child Services or whatever it's called in your area. It won't take long for a counselor or a teacher or even another student to call them. DCF won't care that you made something and the child refused to it. All they will hear is your child was not fed and that they went to bed without food. I don't need that hassle not when I can make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich easily enough.
• Canada
2 May 07
In my home, it's a case of eat what's made or go without. My mother always had that same rule and as kids we had to abide by it. I'm lucky in that my kids will eat almost anything I put in front of them with a few exceptions and so I know not to make those things that they don't like. My partner too is a little on the fussy side, but again, it's things that are easy to avoid in terms of food and cooking.
@missybal (4492)
• United States
2 May 07
That's the way I grew up... except it wasn't take it or leave it... it was you take it and like it. They will get over it. The trouble is if you let them get away with it to begin with. If you do it's even more difficult and they put up even more of a fight.
2 people like this
@abbey19 (3129)
• Gold Coast, Australia
2 May 07
I remember when I was growing up as a child, I was a fussy eater and my mother would make different meals, specially for me. She had a house full of people to look after (we lived with her parents), and I saw the way she was run off her feet trying to please everybody at mealtimes, so I swore I would never do that with my family - and I didn't. I would make the same meal for everyone, and they either ate it or left it. I was very strict on this, and they knew it, so they usually ate it! I think we can pander to our kids too much, and it's not good for them.
@KissThis (3008)
• United States
2 May 07
In my house you eat the meal that is cooked. I make a variety of food so that is atleast a couple of food items each likes. Everyone gets a small portion of each food. If they want more of something they get more. However if the are unable to eat what was served for dinner I do not give them a snack later. I figure since my parents raised nine children this way it won't hurt for me to raise my three children the same way.
2 people like this
• Malaysia
2 May 07
yes.. i do agree with you.. my grandmother used to complain that we treat her more like a maid.. because we always complain that we dislike eating this and that.. or we're bored of this and that.. but who actually know how tiring is it to cook? have you even try to cook for your family? that's the question.. and from that day onwards..i seldom complain.. i just eat whatever i have for my dinner.. and i think if i were to compare with refugees.. i think i'm much luckier. .i think i have to thank god for even giving me a meal .. glad to have a meal and still surviving today =)
2 people like this
@vanities (11336)
• Davao, Philippines
2 May 07
well if it happen to my family then i will let them do the cooking and the buying.. since they dont want my prepaation, thats the only remedy i have in my mind.
• Singapore
2 May 07
I do understand that if you have put in considerable time and effort into preparing a meal, you will feel upset if someone just brushes it away and wastes your effort. That's also why I (almost) never complain about the food that was prepared for me. Whether it is nice or not so nice, I just eat it up. After all, someone has to eat up what's already prepared anyway. Since this is my share, just eat it. Why waste food, go hungry, and make someone dear to you unhappy at the same time? If possible, this should be avoided.
2 people like this
• Philippines
2 May 07
Of course, i get fed up too. Whenever I do something for their welfare and they don't give me what is due me, of course i get pissed off
2 people like this
• United States
2 May 07
In my family it all depends on if someone simply doesn't like a food or if they hate it so much it makes them literally gag! One of my son's is literally in danger of throwing up or choking if he tries to eat eggs or tuna fish. So no, I will not force him to eat either of those because I think that's just cruel. I vividly remember a preschool worker shoving canned spinich in my mouth and holding my mouth and nose closed while I gagged and panicked! I will NOT do anything remotely like that to my children ever! But another of my son's is just plain picky. "Ooohhwaaahh I don't like that!" Tough turkey! I don't purposely fix foods that any of them absolutely hate but all this kid likes is pizza and chicken nuggets! I'll make him sit at the table all night till bedtime then refrigerate his leftovers and serve it up for him, breakfast, lunch, and dinner till it's gone! I believe in serving them nutritious meals and won't even give them the option to "take it or leave it".
2 people like this
• United States
2 May 07
Well in my house there is no debate, they are children and if they don't eat what I took the trouble to make then they just don't eat. I let them know that there are children who are not as fortunate and teach them to be more appreciate of the food they are blessed with. Don't get me wrong I let them decide if they don't like something but there is no discussion after I have made a meal all discussions and compromises are made before I cook.
2 people like this