Update on my Step children & Police & their Evil Mother!

@jennybianca (12912)
Australia
August 4, 2007 2:07am CST
Some of my friends saw my discussion two to three days ago, about my 9 year old step daughter, reporting to the Police that my 14 yerr old daughter had assaulted her. Here is an update. We were due to have the children from mid thursday afternoon until Saturday 10.00am. I picked them both up from school as usual. Neither of them talked. Both stayed completely silent. I made no effort to talk either. I was still fuming with the lies they had told the Police, with the aid of their evil Mother. Their Father had asked me that they not play together, nor with my daughter, no movies, no computer, no playground & no going to the neighbours. We couldn't risk any activity where kids may fight. My step daughter stayed in her bedroom & played. My step son read a lot ( the most I have ever seen him read). When their father came home from work, neither talked. We had decided not to ask them anything about why they had told such terrible lies, that they could volunteer the information themselves. Their Father told them this. They didn't talk. Both went to bed very early. The next day they were the same in the morning, until I took them to school. It was the same last night too. No talking. As their evil Mother corrupted them? I think so. I was stunned & appalled by their behaviour. Hubby is devastated that his son appears to be completely involved in these lies. The whole situaTion is tearing the Family apart, although my husband, myself & my daughter stand together. We go to the Police tomorrow, for my daughter to be questioned. We are due to have both children for three nights, beginning next Friday.I think something is going to happen.
3 people like this
13 responses
@faith210 (11224)
• Philippines
4 Aug 07
Hi jennybianca! Good luck and don't worry the truth is on your side...I just hope your stepchildren will soon see what they did is terribly wrong. Take care and God bless to you and your family. :)
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
4 Aug 07
My fear is, that it will take them a very long time to see that what they did is wrong.Maybe never, if they are too influenced by the evil mother.
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
5 Aug 07
Thank you for your kind words.
@faith210 (11224)
• Philippines
4 Aug 07
How could a mother like that brainwashed her own kids for her own selfish ways? The kids are being used and manipulated by her. I just hope that she will be exposed on her deceitful ways. I am sorry if I can't hold back my anger towards the mother...I pity those kids because they don't realized that you and your hubby truly care for them. And I am sad for your own daughter who is being caught up in the middle of the hatred and bitterness of the mother of your stepchildren. I have faith in you and your husband's love that you will win this battle. :)
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Aug 07
I am sorry that you have to go through this. IMO, it seems that the ex-wife is jealous and will do anything to make her children hate you and your daughter. At least your husband is backing your daughter up and not just assuming that this happened. I do however, hope things get better for you, your husband and all 3 children.
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
5 Aug 07
Yes, my husband is backing my daughter up, as he knows what the kids mother is like, & sadly, he knows what his children are like.
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
5 Aug 07
I agree that it is going to hurt them in the long run. What a twisted upbringing.
• United States
5 Aug 07
it is very sad what is going on with the children. the mother might have threatened them that if they told she would do something or might tell them do this and i will do this for you. its so sad that kids get dragged in the middle of things because the mom or dad is mad at the other and wants to get them back. they dont realize in the long run all they are doing is hurting the children and scarring them for life. there is such a thing as karma and its not so nice. what comes around goes around. hope things workout for you and your family.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Aug 07
I think they have been intimidated into silence by their mother. The most important thing you said is that your own family is standing together. I can only imagine what a trying situation you are going through and that does not help with the strained atmosphere in your home.
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
5 Aug 07
Partly they have been intimidated, thats what she did in the past. Although nowadays she offers them rewards, money, movies, a bike, a makeup kit, etc. It worlks for them. We have always flatly refused to use rewards to get them onside.
@Calais (10893)
• Australia
4 Aug 07
WOW.....I think that is nasty, because I believe that she has told them not to talk...Kids only do what they are told and learnt, so obviously she has said something...I wish you all the best for tomorrow you must be so frustrated by now...
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
4 Aug 07
Yes, we are quite sure she told the kmids not to talk.
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
4 Aug 07
kids, I mean... I can spell, but not type.
• United States
4 Aug 07
It justmakes me want to slap the crap out of their mother. Can you get a lawyer.I dont' know what the laws are over there. over if someone spreads lies that hurts someone or their reputation they can be slapped with what's called a libel suit.Do you have that over there?
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
5 Aug 07
I am contacting Legal Aid tomorrow, to see if I can sue her for making false allegations.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Aug 07
you go girl! I hope you can do something.She really needs to be knocked down to size!
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
5 Aug 07
I think you do need a lawyer here as someone mentioned. A family mediator could perhaps help. Blending families such as yours is really difficult. I know...i've done it. Kids often have very mixed emotions. It is vital that the "adults" involved work together to demand that the kids have respect for the step parents and other children. The very fact that this is being brought to court rather than discuss it in a family setting says a lot about the mother's intent.
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
5 Aug 07
Wemay need a lawyer, as I discussed with the Police today. Although probably it won't come to that, as there is no evidence for the ridiculous charges. I am going to contac t Legal Aid to see if Ican sue the Mother and/ or the kids for false allegations.
• United States
4 Aug 07
Wow, thank goodness I am not in your shoes, no offense, but your husband's ex-wife seem like a walking nightmare. She sounds like she is very jealous and vindictive.
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
5 Aug 07
Yes, jealous & vindictive are accurate words. Thank you for your comments.
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
5 Aug 07
It is really a hard situation, but you will get through it. I don't understand why the mother would not have just come over and asked all of you about it. She must really want to cause trouble with all of you. Keep your heads up high and just tell the police what you know, and that nothing was done wrong.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (157627)
• United States
4 Aug 07
The kids are not too young to learn that natural consequences happen. You play dirty, accuse others of hurting you, then you do not get to play with others. You are on your own. Keep up the good work, the solid front, and do not let them get to you. I wonder what Mommy Dearest has threatened them with? You will never know. If she keeps on messing with their minds, then she will lose the freedom of having them come stay with you so she can do as she likes while they are gone. Give Bianca a hug from me.
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
5 Aug 07
I agree that the kids sare not to young to know of natural consequences. I know what Mommy dearest threatened them with in the past; she told her step son that if he came to live with us, she would cut him out of her will, not leave him her house (she doesn't own one), & not buy him a car when he is 16. You are eaxctly right about the freedom comments too, unlike another response further down here, who has made assumptions, which I have stronly commented on!
@mizrae (587)
• United States
4 Aug 07
I can't help but be very concerned for you. This woman sounds like she is using her children to get back at your husband and by association you and your daughter. Should you get legal representation too? I would provide the list of the other children involved in that game that day so that your daughter has some witnesses on her side. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and hope all goes well.
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
4 Aug 07
As a matter of fact, I was thinking of ringing Legal Aid. You are quite right. She uis using her children to get back at her ex husband.
@Vixx06 (162)
4 Aug 07
It must be very hard for you having to put up with this kind of treatment. If I was in your shoes I would be as nice as possible to your step kids. They are young and they are being used by thier mother to get at you and your husband. Some people can not leave the past behind them. The kids sound like they are trying to please their mother but if you keep showing them kindness it wont be too long before they see things for what they are. At the same time your daughter must be finding it very difficult. Just stand by her and let her know that no matter what happens between you and your step kids, she will always be number one in your eyes.
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
4 Aug 07
We always thought the kids would see things for what they are, but that doesn't seemed to have happened, & I suspect it will never happen.
@Bobbz21 (155)
• New Zealand
4 Aug 07
If its that much, is there no way you can stop having them for awhile until the investigation is up and your 14 year old daughter is cleared, it sounds to me as if your step children hold grudges against you and your daughter.... Personally I would put a stop having them until everything was over, if you don't more lies could continue further.
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
4 Aug 07
Yes, it is possible they hoild grudges against my daughter & I, despite what we have done for them. But to have a grudge against their Father? I think it is possible that we will stop having them.
• United States
4 Aug 07
First off the "step" children sound as though they have been mentally segregated on your part. You MUST remember they are CHILDREN. They need us to GUIDE them. Their biological mother and father are apart- this takes a huge toll on children's minds and just because it IS does not mean it IS understood. TRY to make all 3 children feel completely EQUAL in LOVE, activities and ALL family matters- INCLUDING discipline. If all are treated equal they WILL come around. As far as the "evil" mother- STOP calling her evil and especially NEVER around the 2 children. That is THEIR MOTHER and whether or not you harbor resentment because these children inadvertantly arouse thoughts in YOUR mind of your man and HER together - it no longer is, she will always be a part of the "family" and you can catch far more flies with honey than vinegar. Being KIND always pays. And children are like little glass objects just being broken and glued together all the time. LOVE THEM ALL and perhaps prayer would also help. The qualities be they negative or positive are only a stem of what they've seen and learned ...from us.
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
5 Aug 07
You are making assumptions here. How & where do I sound as though I have mentally segreated the children? The children have ALWAYS been treated equally when together. I will not even begin to write here what my daughter has done for her two step siblings. I have made absolutely no reference whatsoever about harbouring thoughts about my husband & her together, none whatsoever. It is another assumption on your part. I will call their mother EVIL when ever I want. In fact I have other names I call her too, so does their Father. Do you know what names she has called us, in front of the children? No, of course not. Did I say I call her these names in front of the children? NO. Another assumption of yours. Yes, you are correct that children learn qualities from their parents. As my two step children live more with their Mother than us, they have learned her negative qualities, it would seem, despite the positive influence we have given them when with us. I suspect you have a hidden agenda here. Perhaps you are one of the OTHER monthers. Who knows! But you did make completely wrong assumptions here.