Would you let your child act like this?

@pilbara (1436)
Australia
September 2, 2007 11:49pm CST
A friend has a 6yo boy and yesterday she gave him a cake to eat. It was an ordinary iced cupcake. He said "yuck I don't like this" and threw it on the floor. She then offered him a lolly (sweet) and he said he didn't want one of those he wanted money to buy some of his own. She said she didn't have enough change to do that and then it was "yes you do" "no I don't" "yes you do" "no I don't etc" but all in a really whiney voice on his part. After the third time he then hit her across the backside, not hard or anything like that, but he did hit her. I was waiting for some kind of reaction but she did nothing at all. Maybe I have it wrong but had it been me I would not have even offered the lolly after the cake was thrown and although I hate being judgemental I was thinking what a brat. However it worries me that a child of that age thought it was ok to hit his mother when he didn't get his own way and even more than she did nothing about it (although I'm not discounting the possibility that maybe she waited until she got home)
1 person likes this
15 responses
• United States
3 Sep 07
I think you called it like you saw it. He was acting like a brat from the sound of it! My friends 6yo does the same thing. And I step right in and tell him to stop that nonsense and to be nicer and listen to his mother better. He hit his mother one day and so I took off my flip flop and busted him on the rear with it. lol He turned around and looked at me and said you hit me. I said you just hit your mother! I sit with him sometimes and I just dont let him get away with much. If I say he isnt going to do something because of how he is acting I follow up on my threat, I dont let it go. Needless to say his mother is always asking me how do you get him to mind you so well. I try and tell her what I feel she is doing wrong and what I do to keep him in line but I guess she feels its easier to do it her way. Your friend really needs to fix that one though, she teaching a child that its ok to hit people, and its going to land him juvie in a few years if she allows this to continue. There is no way in hell I would have given him another choice if he threw what I just gave him on the ground. Where are the backbones of mothers these days? It seems very common that children just act however they feel. I never acted like that with my mother. I was polite and quiet in public, the way that it should be!
2 people like this
@deebomb (15322)
• United States
3 Sep 07
I belive that they think it is easier to let the kids do as they please. They just don't realize how much harder it will be in the futuer. Some parents just don't have any back bone.
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Sep 07
Seems like a lot of Mothers feel that raising a child is physically demanding, these days most work full time and that can be physically challenging to work all day and come home to a child. I really think raising a child is mental! If you want a child to develop good choices you have to show them good choices. Their eyes and ears are on you more than you think they are!! Its not about physically discipling your child, its about mentally disciplining your child. Obviosly SuperNanny doesnt get watched much, which is a shame because she has excellent child rearing skills. I do applaud that woman!
@dreamy1 (3815)
• United States
3 Sep 07
Oh no he didn't! I would never ever even think to do something like that when I was a kid. I know my mother would be all over me if I dared to do such things. What is wrong with some parents today. Why are they so afraid to discipline their kids? If he acts like that at six I don't want to see him a few years from now. It's the parents fault if you don't discipline and teach them respect from day one, what do you expect? She needs to nip his behavior in the bud before he really turns into a monster. She will reap what she sows.
2 people like this
@pilbara (1436)
• Australia
5 Sep 07
Thanks for your reply. That is exactly what worried me. If he does this kind of thing now, what will happen in the future?
@roniroxas (10576)
• Philippines
3 Sep 07
i have four kids.... 16,15,13 and 11. but they did not do something like that to me even before. if the parents wont allow the kids to do something like that then the kids will not do anything like that. i wont allow my kids to do something like that, no respect at all. kids are kids yes that is true but still you can disipline them, that is the right of the parents
2 people like this
@pilbara (1436)
• Australia
5 Sep 07
Thanks for your reply. I agree it does show a lack of respect.
@butterfly39 (3907)
• Philippines
3 Sep 07
well, I am just lucky because if my little boy doesn't want to eat something I'll give it to my two girls not to waste it...as much as possible I only buy stuff that my little boy wants.
2 people like this
@pilbara (1436)
• Australia
5 Sep 07
Thanks for your reply, but I think you missed the main point.
@jeanena (1616)
• Bucklin, Kansas
3 Sep 07
Him throwing the cupcake down on the floor would have been enough to get his little butt in trouble.Agruing about the money is another NoNo . But hitting her should have never happened.Sounds to me like the fellow needed a spanking(mind you i said spanking not beating). I know some people think you shouldnt spank but there is a big difference between disiplining a child and beating them.At 6 he shouldnt be raising his hand to her at all.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Sep 07
I so agree with your comment Jeanena!! Unfortunately the laws these days have a fine line between spanking and beating a child. Like the original post said, I hope that she did deal with it when she got home with the child in privacy. I think waiting til your home when this happens in public is much more effective. For a brief moment they really think they didnt do anything wrong, this way it sinks in a little better when you do punish them for it.
1 person likes this
@deebomb (15322)
• United States
3 Sep 07
In my opinion if she was diciplung him when she got was not happening or the child would not be acting like he did.
@vinzen (1022)
• India
3 Sep 07
Defiance and anger - Kids misbehaving ,showing their anger and resentment.
Hi, i think maybe here the mothers to be blamed more, for what her child is doing. Agreed that whatever hes done was wrong and maybe its his bad mood or his nature has now become like that, to defy and argue about things and want his way always. But the mother on her part, should be strict with him, right that moment, its not to be waited upon to be resolved upon reaching home, as it would loose its effectiveness and by the time you think you will go home and talk out to him, he would have half forgotten what he was being scolded for! Maybe the mother is strict with him, but its not effective enough, i feel in such a case, she should just have asked him once or maybe twice for the cake and there after not offered him what he asked for, saying that maybe later, as of now you just have this cake, and we dont have so much of money to keep buying things and as you have thrown the cake and misbehaved, now you shall not have anything at all. Its hard, but just once if she'd have doine it,he would have learnt the lesson well for next time and been careful too. Kids need to be trained right from the age of 2-3 years onwards, and by the time they are 6-7-8 years, they learn how to behave and be well mannered, or then the parents will have a tough time. And hitting the parents, even though right now its let of as a playway hitting, this can become a serious hitting later if its not stopped right away, and the reason for hitting is the childs anger actually, so that has to be curbed and cut in the bud too, before its too late.
1 person likes this
• India
3 Sep 07
Surely, I wont let my Child like this..Here in India we find odd like this..If any child behave like this immedialtely the child's Mom would give the child a hard blow or give some punishment this happens all over the world..So MOM's please help ur child to grow in a good manner..
@lingli_78 (12844)
• Australia
3 Sep 07
OMG... i wouldn't even dare to behave like that when i am still at his age... otherwise i will be in big trouble with my parents... i think that he is a kind of spoilt child who needs a discipline... anyway, it is not my right to judge other people as i am not a parent yet...
1 person likes this
@deebomb (15322)
• United States
3 Sep 07
I believe that you were right when you called the boy a brat because that is what he is. There are time whhen you have to be judgemental. If a child of mine threw a cup cake on the floor he would be cleaning it up. She is allowing this child to be a brat. Too bad she doesn't realize the other people will dislike this child and she will be wondering why. I also would not have argued with him about have any change because he would not have been offered the sucker. Had a child of mine hit me across the fanny he would be given a spanking. More than likely she did not dicipline him when he got home or he would not be acting the way that he did. She probably never diciplines him and it shows.
@jmintuck (114)
• Canada
3 Sep 07
Same here.If I threw a cupcake on the floor,I,d be cleaning that up. Overall, I MIGHT get a spanking over hitting mom on the butt. Maybe, at best, yelled at good.
@violeta_va (4834)
• Australia
5 Sep 07
ok I would never force sweets on my son if he is offerd and does not want it great. On the other hand if its lunch and I am trying ti figure out what he likes (he has a mild disability and he has very limited vocabulary) than I offer him few things if he likes nothing than bad luck he is not eating untill he comes and tells me what he wants (most often than not he would come and tell me in the next 5min). My son knows that repiting him self (yes you do, no you donts, I wants it sort of things) dont work with me so he does not even try that with me.
@brendakaya (2335)
• United States
5 Sep 07
That scares me, when kids start acting like that. Now, in some cases, they may grow out of it, but in other cases, they may not. It's not good, if you don't put a stop to it, at an early age, that's for sure. The longer you wait to correct it, the harder it will be. I just watched Dr. Phil. and it was about kids, that had bad tempers, and the one, was a 10 year old boy, who was so mean, and had been so mean, since he was only 4 years old. He deliberately hurt all their pets, and he had started hurting his siblings, and stuff. I'm sorry, but no matter how much I loved my children, if any one of them, had ever been cruel to my other kids or pets, and deliberately hurt them, I would take them immediately to get help, and if nothing worked, I would have had to give them up. That may sound mean, on my part, but if that were the only way to keep everybody else safe, I would have had to done it. Too many kids that start out, like that, grow up to be the next serial killers, and I would be afraid to have one of them in my house. I would feel better, turning them over to someone else that may be able to do more for them, than I can. And if nothing could be done, then they would be better off locked up, where they wouldn't be a danger to anyone else. I'm thankful that none of mine were like that, and none of them have a cruel bone in their body. But it could have just as easily been one of my kids, as anyone else's, because sometimes they're born like that, and it's not necessarily the parent's fault.
@4mymak (1796)
• Malaysia
4 Sep 07
First of all, I will never tolerate throwing food to the floor! I was raised to appreciate any food that we have, and is offered to us, remembering that other people may not even have the luxury of a piece of bread.... And I raise my children the same way - i dun even let them leave any piece of food on their plates. if you really do not want the food - decline politely - do not take and throw away. As for that very rude behaviour... i would agree with you - i will not offer the child a lolly after he threw the cupcake to the floor. I would have made him pick the cupcake and throw in the proper dustbin, and would have taken him aside - 'for counselling'. i, too, suppose that your friend had waited to get home before she did anything to her child for his bad behaviour. normally i would remind (tell) my children - not to make a scene in public, and embarrass ourselves.. of course, they'll forget and start to misbehave, but a 'gentle' reminder would normally,... normally put them back in place. i will never, never tolerate my child hitting me like that - i think i might have hit him back, pull his ear or pinch his hand or something... sorry... that might not be well-recieved by most of you here, but i would never let my child do something like that and get away with it.
@mavisbike (1528)
• United States
4 Sep 07
wow if my kid did that i would after the cupcake id be like well than no sweets for you. and if he hit me there would be stern punishment no tv,computer, etc I also would probably slap his butt pretty hard when we werent in public to let him know not to do it again
@cutepenguin (6457)
• Canada
3 Sep 07
I think this is unacceptable from a 6 year old. Once at a student's house I gave a 5 year old boy a cookie that I had made and he said it wasn't good. ("I don't like it", specifically). You should have heard the lecture his teenage sister gave him about being polite. Then she ate his cookie. I would not have offered him another treat. I also would not have argued with him about whether or not I had money, I would have just said no. I work with kids, and I don't argue with them. As soon as I start arguing with them, I've lost, even if I win the argument.
@cderrs (69)
3 Sep 07
:/ Little brat. Scares me that he even thinks to hit his mum... somethign must be wrong in that house.