Guys wanting money from me
By Sharon38
@Sharon38 (1912)
Jamaica
September 19, 2007 4:16pm CST
I met this guy on another site where we became good internet buddies. He told me some things about hmself which I shall not disclose but somehow these things never appeared to be true.
He now claims that his son is in coma and he needs money to assist him with the bills. When he kept telling me I just went into the uncaring mode (never knew I had one until now) and typed emotionlessly to him telling him that I am a single parent and have bills to pay too and am in dire need of money.
Mylotters these are things taht lead me to be inquiring about finding love by internet. So he thinks I am that stupid to send my hard earned cash to him and as Jamaicans would say "I dont know this man from Adam" meaning I know nothing about him, where he is from and the fact that he is so far away amkes it even worst.
I have worked hard for what I have achieved and hope to achieve. I am not saying that I will not help but how can I help a man who I am not even sure is telling the truth? I dont even know my country well and I have lived here all my life so how will I know overseas even though he promised to repay me?
You know the things is this guy got all upset when I kept saying that I dont have the money. He went offline. I wonder if he saw money written all over my face when he saw my picture? Or is it the office he saw me in? Well it is my boss's office anyway and I have my child's needs to think of at this moment in addition to the young people that I have pledged to assist.
I also have a cousin inthe hospital suffering from cancer and she has never asked me for anything! I do help though. So why should I leave her to give money to a man I dont know? This also reminds me of an email I got asking for my address and account number and alot of personal stuff from a member of that same site I met the guy on. I told her off that I am not into her scam so she should find someone else and leave me alone! Well this just goes to show how many people are using the internet for scam and I will not be drawn into it.
You know I had to call a friend and show her the text the guy was sending to me and he was brilliant enough to be upset when I decided to tell him that I needed help too! Very rude and inappropriate behaviour I would say! Hummph! Take a girl for an idiot because she is single? Hummph!
10 people like this
26 responses
@williamjisir (22819)
• China
19 Sep 07
Morning, Sharon. I think that you are right to tell him that you yourself need help from people. He is ridiculous to ask you for money since you are both online friends and have never seen each other in person. I am glad that you are very cautious about this matter. I hope that you won't be further bothered by him or you can just delete him from your friend list to avoid further disturbance.
3 people like this
@Sharon38 (1912)
• Jamaica
20 Sep 07
YEs William you hve been the second person to amke this suggestion and I do thank you all for responding. I have deleted him and will not answer to his email. I was just concerned about his son because he said he sent him to live with his father in Africa. Thanks though.
3 people like this
@lovelydame3000 (1577)
• India
20 Sep 07
Hi Sharon! If anyone takes advantage of you it is because you gave them an opportunity to do so. You would find a lot of such people who would emotionally blackmail you to part with your money. It is a common belief that a woman falls into such trap easier than a man.You would find that lot of people try to take advantage of a single woman for that matter. However, I would give him the benefit of doubt that he may be telling the truth. But he should approach a real life friends or relatives or an NGO who are into Charity than approach an Internet contact for money. Moreover, when you have a child to support and run on a tight budget you need not help anyone. First of all we have to help ourselves and those who matter to us. You did the right thing by refusing him money.
Note : Pls notify S.K on my profile page on Perf who deals with scams from members.
@Sharon38 (1912)
• Jamaica
20 Sep 07
Hi Ann. Yeah I agree with you on that but it was from the first time talking to him it just did not feel right but I like to give people enough rope t hang themselves. I will tell S.K.
You know when i mentioned his friends and realtives he said no one wanted to assist. What family or close friends could be so horrible as not to assist in such a case of need! I am still wondering if it is indeed the truth.
@Stiletto (4579)
•
20 Sep 07
First of all "I dont know this man from Adam" - we say that in Scotland too! What a coincidence. Anyway as to the rest of your post you've handled it the right way. Unfortunately the internet is full of people trying to scam others out of their money. At least you've let him know that you are not stupid enough to part with money on the word of some guy you never met. I suspect you may find that now he knows that you're not a soft touch your internet buddy will disappear off the scene.
1 person likes this
@lovelydame3000 (1577)
• India
22 Sep 07
Noway! I would never give money to a begger like that. I think if anyone is on goodhealth and capable of working he/she should not be encouraged to beg. I also do not think children should be encouraged too. If a person is seriously disabled or overaged then I give them money or prefer to buy them some bread or something to eat.
1 person likes this
@Sharon38 (1912)
• Jamaica
20 Sep 07
Here was I thinking that it was only in Jamaican but you are the second person on this discussion advising me that you guys know it too! Well, well! Maybe you should start a discussion on proverbs or sayign and see how much we are the same.
Well friend one has to be wise in this time and age. I think people find the internet as an easy way to scam people. I am not going in that direction I would prefer to give the money to a beggar on the streets here in Jamaica. Let them scam me!
@disvachic (10117)
• United States
21 Sep 07
I had an internet friend from africa we were friends for 3 years chatting emailing and all that.He was trying to get me to send him money and give him my address.Telling me he was in love with me and we never met in person.He thought i was stupid.I didnt fall for it and didnt send a dime.
1 person likes this
@disvachic (10117)
• United States
25 Sep 07
I dont know but alot of them are trying to use innocent people.
@eden32 (3973)
• United States
19 Sep 07
I think you did the right thing by refusing to give him the money. If he has real needs, there are programs that can help him while his son is undergoing medical treatment. If he's conning you, you'll have no recourse to get the money back. Personally my philosophy is to never loan money. If a friend needs money & I can afford it, I give it to them. If I can't afford it, I don't. If they pay it back someday, that's great but if they don't I didn't put myself in a position to be without something because of the loan.
2 people like this
@Sharon38 (1912)
• Jamaica
20 Sep 07
I so agree with you on that Eden and thanks for responding. Honestly I never really expected to get any response to this because I was just upset with him and as you saud there is no recourse to get back my money. I think he was hoping htat I would say yes.
He was always hinting that he was poor and asked about my earnings. I normally give him a figure to work out. Of ocurse that was not my salary but he never knew that!
3 people like this
@jmohana (95)
• United States
20 Sep 07
What you have done is right .You would have done one more thing you would have asked him regarding the hosipal details where the treatment is undergoing and the cost of the treatment and if u find different answer each and every time u ask then we can consider him as a fraud even the co workers cheat us after they get the money from us and they say without feeling sorry when did i get the money from you when we ask them to return the money we gave them so in the money matter we should be bit careful
2 people like this
@Sharon38 (1912)
• Jamaica
20 Sep 07
Yes, Jmo especiallu in this day and age when we have so many many people just waiting to rip someone off. Money is hard to earn and I believe that if I am going to give I will give it when I see he need and not because someone is trying to coerce me out of it or should I say con? Take care and thanks for responding.
2 people like this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
20 Sep 07
You sure were smart not to send any money.
I was stupid (yeah a long time ago)...thought he was a friend and send my hard earned money! As you can guess...never saw the money!
Everytime I asked him about it...he would say he'd pay me...never said when! and now I've lost touch (I realized that I was never going to get it...took me around 3 years though...lol...how stupid can one get, right?)
@Sharon38 (1912)
• Jamaica
20 Sep 07
Swan I could not call you stupid because the same thing happenned to me only that it was my close friend. We are still friends but she has conveniently forgotten that she owes me and if I am in a spot and dare to ask her help I get the run around. It is almost 5 yrs now since that occurred and it has taught me a good lesson one that will carry me safely through life. It you are stupid then I am too. So you are not alone in that. Look at it as an experience bet you would not do that again!
thanks for sharing I really appreciate it. God bless!
1 person likes this
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
20 Sep 07
This person was very rude to you. Even if they needed money, it's a bit much to be asking a complete stranger for it, especially one who obviously has many demands on her money already.
It's good that you've removed him from your friends list. He certainly does sound like a scammer. If he isn't, he needs to be asking for help from his actual family and friends.
1 person likes this
@spiderlizard22 (3444)
• United States
20 Sep 07
I agree with you. You are right he could be lying. Sometimes people lie to get what they want. You shouldn't give money to strangers unless you want to. I wouldn't give him any money either. For all you know he could be a con artist. If he doesn't want to be your friend because you didn't give him any money I would suspect that he is a con artist.
1 person likes this
@ssf12ster (488)
• India
20 Sep 07
ask him to scoot off or you will call the cops dear!what a pesky guy!yawn what a way to sign off here.tellthem some good numbers poor fellas they are hungry dogs. let them also eat some bad food!
1 person likes this
@naveen00112002 (2)
• China
20 Sep 07
hi madam this is naveen who is may be younger than you. may be iam not old enough to give you an advice but i wanna to. if there are any mistakes in my discussion i am very sorry. here i had studied your discussion very well and even the responses given by others. the responses were really encouraging and supporting you which gains you some mental support and satisfaction that you have done was right. this feeling will protect you from fears and will give you the required confidence you need to, in future.but i wanna tell you something that no one discussed. the first thing was- you have been told that you do have some doubt in what he was saying, have you ever tried to clear your doubt? "a relation of doubt will never stand" so here i wanna advice you to first try to clear your doubts, and never move forward until and unless you have been got all your doubts cleared. and the second thing was-- you must be so careful while chatting in internet. you must attain the skill of grasping the feelings from the words used by the other person. but to have this you need to have some patience,"everything cannot be happened in a single eye blink". and now coming to the third--- you are right that many are using internet for scam, and you must be also be aware of that not everyone is doing this. look! how many people have been reacted to your discussion and have given their valuable support to you. these all are good people who
want everything goes good with you. finally me too wish you the same that you do have a happy and prosperous future. thank you and once again i am sorry if i do have any mistake and if i cross my limits. bye
1 person likes this
@Sharon38 (1912)
• Jamaica
20 Sep 07
Thats al right Naveen you have not crossed any limits and I dont suppose you would ever do that based on the careful way you presented yourself. The doubts I had from the beginnning was that he was out to seek money why?
1. When I jokingly asked him about his last name which signifies riches he said to me that people thinks he is rich but he is not. I told him that I never judged anyone by their name but I thought it was a good joke. I never asked him for money and would never do that so I am wondering why become defensive? We are friends so why going that way? This may seem simple to you but it is the simple things that have the most meanings to me. I read alot into these things.
2. He asked about my salary. Never do that to me because I will begin to mistrust you and think you have a hidden agenda.
3. I have been careful on the internet. Information that I divulge is anything anybody can know. My pay, address and personal things like those I keep to myself.
I must thank you for advice and even though you are young I can see that you do have your head on your shoulders and in the right position, Take care and God bless!
@Sharon38 (1912)
• Jamaica
23 Sep 07
Naveen I have chsen you as the best response because inspite of your age (assuming that you are much younger than I am) you have thought well and expressed yourself just as well.
To th eother mylotters who participated thank you very much and you sure do make a girl feels as if she is home!
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
20 Sep 07
Your post sounds as if you are justifying your action to your own conscience when in reality there is no need for any justification. What you did is unquestionably correct and if it was the other way round, i.e. you were gullible enough to send money, then you would have needed some serious explanation later to both yourself and your near & dear ones.
1 person likes this
@Sharon38 (1912)
• Jamaica
20 Sep 07
Hahaha! I would need to have my head examined I believe. I never try to justify my actions. No one ever beleives you any way when you do that so I just say it as it is. Seriously though I would need to see a Shrink if I ever did that. My daugher would certainly call me stupid.
Thanks for responding and happy posting. God bless!
@recycledgoth (9894)
•
20 Sep 07
Hardly a day goes by when I don't get an email from a scammer asking for money. These creeps often target people they percieve as being a soft touch or vulnerable and these days I stay well away from chat rooms and the like as I have found that these parasites lurk specifically looking for people they can befriend and con. Good for you for refusing hun, he was no friend.
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
20 Sep 07
Good for you!! There are alot of ppl out there that are scammers and looking for what I call a soft touch. Someone they can give a sob story to and they will help them out. I will help out locally when I can but I make sure we are taken care of first. The same should be true for anyone that has a child to care for.
I would probably leave that site as it sounds like there are several scammers on there but that is up to you. Just be very careful of those you meet and if they start asking you alot of very personal information or to send them money....RUN. LOL
**AT PEACE WITHIN**
~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~
1 person likes this
@SheliaLee (2736)
• United States
20 Sep 07
You are a very smart lady. You did the right thing in telling this person that you would not give him the money. More than likely he would have not been using the money for anything that he said. Hope you have a wonderful day!
SheliaLee
1 person likes this
@Sheribabe (445)
• United States
20 Sep 07
My friend has this happen to her... It gets me really mad and upset that people do this...
It makes it even harder than normal to trust anyone! If someone online acts you for money in one of those dating online sites or any sires in general, let it be a red flag... be careful! It''s a scam or a total loser! Run!!!!
@Hawaiiblue (422)
• Malaysia
20 Sep 07
hi, sharon.. i think that you done the right thing.. you have to tell that guy , you din't no have money.. and must choose a really friends in internet.. and don't so easy trust what they say ..
1 person likes this
