We have Hired a Lawyer, Again!

@jennybianca (12915)
Australia
November 14, 2007 11:41pm CST
After a hiring a Criminal Lawyer to defend my daughter against false charges made by my two step children, we have now hired a Family Law, Lawyer to gain my husband more contact with his children during the school holidays. Regarding the first incident, the charges against my daughter wewre dropped, as it was obviously malicious. Now my husband wants the access to his kids that he is entitled to. We have usually had 35% care of the children, but their Mother refused school holiday contact. The reason bei8ng that her maintenance from my husband would be significantly reduced. The Lawyer we hired is from the top fiorm for Family Law. One meeting yesterday cost about $440.00. Sheexplained without a doubt, that my husband was entitled to half the school holidays. She said she will start the proceddeings "nicely", giving the ex & her lawyer 28 days to respond. Then it is to Court. In one sense, I wish we had prsued this two years ago. On the other hand, I am dreading my step children returning to us tomorrow. After what they did, their total lack of feeling guilty, their unwillingnessto apologise, I now harbor very negative feelings towards them.
5 people like this
5 responses
• United States
15 Nov 07
You are really stuck between a rock and a hard place!. Given your past experience with your step children I can truly understand your reluctance to have them back in your home. I admire you for supporting your husband wishes to have his children around but you are a better woman than I because after all the has happened I would not be so generous. I do not want make you angry but I think your husband is being very selfish to bring these children back and disturb his present family which IMO should be his primary concern.
2 people like this
@jennybianca (12915)
• Australia
15 Nov 07
You have not made me angry. It has got to the point where I need to find out if I seeing things selfishly. I have made an appointment with a marriage guidance counsellor in 3 weeks time. Naturally my husband won't come too. I can see his point, in that he doesn't want to give up on his children, particularly his son. Every child deserves a chance. But at what cost to his cureent family? He claims I do lots of things wrong, like not listening to him (when I actually disagree),& the list goes on... Maybe in some respects he is correct. I asked him to leave this house two nights ago, when he was shouting at me. This calmed him down temporarily. The family court thingy coming up could be a turning point. The lawyer is very perceptive, & I think she has guessed thee are issues. Guess who is paying for the Lawyer?? I have also joined an online support group for Step parents, as thee is no group in Adelaidfe that meets.
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12915)
• Australia
15 Nov 07
You have not made me angry. It has got to the point where I need to find out if I seeing things selfishly. I have made an appointment with a marriage guidance counsellor in 3 weeks time. Naturally my husband won't come too. I can see his point, in that he doesn't want to give up on his children, particularly his son. Every child deserves a chance. But at what cost to his cureent family? He claims I do lots of things wrong, like not listening to him (when I actually disagree),& the list goes on... Maybe in some respects he is correct. I asked him to leave this house two nights ago, when he was shouting at me. This calmed him down temporarily. The family court thingy coming up could be a turning point. The lawyer is very perceptive, & I think she has guessed thee are issues. Guess who is paying for the Lawyer?? I have also joined an online support group for Step parents, as thee is no group in Adelaide that meets.
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12915)
• Australia
15 Nov 07
I wonder how my response came up twice, when I was previewing it?
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11756)
• United States
15 Nov 07
It sounds like it is going to get quite expensive. I guess we know now why so many don't try to have contact with their kids. Just remember they are kids and are being influenced by their mother. They are being torn. Try to go into this with an open mind. It will be hard, and I would not leave your daughter alone with them, so that it cannot happen again. I wish you the best of luck in this hard situation.
2 people like this
@jennybianca (12915)
• Australia
15 Nov 07
Yes, it will be expensive, if it goes to Court up to $20,000.00. My hubbys ex can no more afford this than us. They have been evily influenced by their mother, but at age 14, my step son is old enough to know better & make choices.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (95568)
• Marion, Kansas
17 Nov 07
He may have to grow up a lot more before he realizes he is grown up enough to make better choices.
• United States
18 Nov 07
I am glad that your husband will be able to see his children more often. It will be difficult for you I am sure with the dealings you have had with them in the past. You are a good person and it is a shame that these children are the way they are. I commend you for your efforts. Big huggers to you.
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12915)
• Australia
18 Nov 07
We have had them for 2 days now & they have been okay. Although my step son was surly at first. Their mother will be receiving a letter from our lawyer this week, & I guess all hell will break loose.
@Perry2007 (2229)
• Philippines
17 Nov 07
Sometimes sibling rivalry is influenced by the parents, Specially in your case where the children are from different mothers. I guess this situation is quite tought to handle, like what you have to go through hiring lawyers. The family where I belong have one pair of parents, we are 11 siblings. all graduated from college. That was my fathers dream come true.
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12915)
• Australia
18 Nov 07
That is amazing to have 11 children in one family and all graduated. Your parents must have been excellent.
@ctrymuziklvr (11060)
• United States
15 Nov 07
My first thoughts as I was reading this was what a horrible thing to be putting kids through no matter what age they are. Until you mentioned their lack of feeling guilty and unwillingness. They sound like kids I wouldn't be very happy to be around either and I love all kids! I have to say the ex sounds like a piece of work herself so no wonder the kids are the way they are. Good luck my friend!
@jennybianca (12915)
• Australia
15 Nov 07
My steo son shows no guilt at all, he never really has.