Are you a "What if?" or a "What is?" type of person?

@James72 (26832)
Australia
January 10, 2008 7:10am CST
What if I had of said this instead of that?...... What if I had of gone here instead of there?..... Are you someone who reflects constantly on what could have been or are you someone who is lucky enough to be able to concentrate wholeheartedly on what IS? Personally I try to focus on each day at a time and let go of what could have been; but I am certainly guilty of focusing on things that have passed and wondering where I would be now if I had only done this or that differently. What about you?
10 responses
• United States
19 Aug 08
I am a what if type person... what if the sun and moon in me have found body? What if everything I most fervently desire is right outside my door, waiting for me to open it? What if everybody in the world was doing exactly what they wanted and minding their own business besides? What if I could smoke all I want and still have skin like rose petals and breath like a fresh mountain breeze. Anything that doesn't fit into my what if scenarios I tend to ignore.
1 person likes this
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
19 Aug 08
Ah! Ain't ignorance bliss! It doesn't exist if we don't even acknowledge it is there right? lol. I personally tend to go back and forth between both types of thought to be honest; but I am trying to change into a "What will be" person! Thanks for responding.
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• United States
19 Aug 08
Ignorance is absolute bliss! I hate it when somebody tells me bad news! I'm like "What the phuck do I wanna know that for?!?"
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@James72 (26832)
• Australia
19 Aug 08
I have a guy here in the office that started the fiorst two days of this week by walking into my office with the statement "Life is hard". These were the first words that came out of his mouth! Now THIS type of thing annoys me also. What an unbelievably bad way to start his day and no wonder his life is hard if that's the attitude. If there is nothing nice or good to be said then don't say anything; at least in situations liek the one I have mentioned!
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@SViswan (12095)
• India
10 Jan 08
I must admit that I was a 'What if' till a few years back. Then I did an introspection and realized that I was just wasting my time and energy and focussing on what could have been and dreaming about what never happened. I now look towards the future and how I can achieve my goals. And how I can make my today better. I realized pondering over my past got me nowhere and I was stuck in my past and not going forward in my life. But I now focus on the future.
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@James72 (26832)
• Australia
10 Jan 08
Ain't life just one big learning experience! I too try to follow a similar path in life. It's not always easy but I do try! Thanks for responding.
@SViswan (12095)
• India
16 Jun 08
Yes, it's not easy...but once you start doing it...it becomes a habit and you don't even realize you are doing it anymore. Btw, thanks for the BR.
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@James72 (26832)
• Australia
16 Jun 08
You are most welcome! And yes; creating new habits is key.....
• Croatia (Hrvatska)
10 Jan 08
I'm usually a "What if?" type of person. I like to think that way and I usually tend to. It makes me think through some things than deciding immediately. Although I do turn to the questions "What is?" sometimes, but on rare occasions.
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@James72 (26832)
• Australia
10 Jan 08
It is only when the "What if?" thought process actually hinders you from making decisions in your day to day life that it can become detrimental to a person in my opinion. Learn from things and keep on moving on I say! Thanks for responding.
• Croatia (Hrvatska)
10 Jan 08
You're right, and thank you for creating such an exceptional discussion! Happy posting!
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@infoguy (210)
• India
11 Jan 08
:) Whenever something goes wrong i keep thinking of this what if options and reflect on it...Even the smallest mistake or smallest problem my mind keeps worried of the IF options .....Am not that easy going person and feel guilty for even the smallest things..Usually this thought keeps me so worried...I dont know how far this is good but this really spoils your mental peace and keeps me irritated...When smallest things that needs to be forgotten are analysed again and again it leaves behind only sorrow.
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@James72 (26832)
• Australia
11 Jan 08
You have basically diagnosed the issues with your thoughts yourself! A life of guilt is not good at all is it? What's done in the past is done; we can't go back and change it so we may as well just accept it and move on wiser for the experience. As said in the previous response, we are the masters of our faith and destiny! Live for the here and now! Thanks for responding.
@raijin (10380)
• Philippines
11 Jan 08
I firmly believe that we are the masters of our own faith, what we make of it is what we'll truly receive. If in case something didn't worked out right, then it is because there are reasons why it didn't end up what we thought it could be. I don;t dwell on the past, of what I could've done. I only reflect from it, learn and maybe do my best that such "what if's" or "what is" won't happen again..
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
11 Jan 08
Great attitude! I agree wholeheartedly that we are the masters of our faith and destiny. "I think therefore I am!". Thanks for responding.
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@skydancer (1716)
• United States
10 Jan 08
I am the very archetype of a "what if?" type of person. Some people say it's me being a pessimist but I say it's me being overly cautious... always alert and aware that things can happen that can be prevented if I think something before actually going through with it. It also comes from experience being that every time I have done something without first evaluating my concerns, I have always regretted it in some way. So I am definitely a "What if?" person.
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@James72 (26832)
• Australia
11 Jan 08
There is certainly no issue in weighing up the pros and cons of a future situation based on past experience; it is having this process negatively influence your decisions to the point of not actually making them that is the issue. I can see how people would see it is pessimistic sometimes too. If we could all find a balance then all the better! Thanks for responding.
• United States
10 Jan 08
I just don't think it is healthy to "what if" too much. Although, for safety and security purposes, to teach and learn of what might become of a bad choice or decision it can be a healthy reflection. But to put in your mind the idea of regret by "What if-ing" something that might have been... we tend to elaborate, and our imaginations expand the possibilities of something we might have missed, or passed up, or let slip away without the "right " action or words...but in actuality... no one can say what might have been "if". Wether it be looking back into one's past, or into one's future, the "what if" will only be determined once it becomes reality. Thus, the "what is" is really the only thing that matters.
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@James72 (26832)
• Australia
11 Jan 08
Yes, it is the here and now that we are actually living today so we should all make the most of it! Life is a continual learning journey and if we can not continue to make the same mistakes then we have a good chance of living life better. Thanks for responding.
@swirlz (3138)
• Philippines
10 Jan 08
I tend to be like this. Constantly regretting things I have done in the past. That's why I have developed this attitude where I do everything I can so that I won't regret it afterwards. Example, if I'm torn whether to do this or not, I would choose doing it, to take the risk, to try. Because even if it was a bad decision, at least I tried and I knew the outcome, rather than not doing it and forever wondering what could have happened if I did.
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
11 Jan 08
Nothing ventured nothing gained right? Thanks for responding.
10 Jan 08
Really I would say I'm more of a 'Should have done...' person although I will admit to having the odd 'What if...' moment but this is mostly as a reflective exercise when I let my mind wander and wonder about the twists and turns life takes and what could have been. Generally though I try to focus on day to day issues and 'What is...'
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@James72 (26832)
• Australia
10 Jan 08
"Should have done" and " What if?" are very similar in my opinion! Your description of yourself sounds a lot like me actually; and that is someone who occasionally thinks back and ponders yet generally tries to live for the moment and the future..... Thanks for responding.
@adnanezzi (243)
• India
10 Jan 08
the thing ur saying is not at all bad. a person should learn from his oun mistakes and try to rectify it.but the point is u should rectify it. remember to err is human. if u make a mistake once its called a mistake but to repeat that mistake is sin
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
10 Jan 08
It is most certainly bad if you choose to spend your life reflecting on what could have been rather than moving forward! I agree one must learn from ones mistakes; by doing this we move forward with our life. Thanks for responding.