Are you friends with your children?

@34momma (13918)
United States
January 20, 2008 8:02pm CST
Are you friends with your children, or are you their parent who is friendly. I know for me, I tell me children all the time, we are cool, but I am never going to be your friend. But I am always going to be your mother. So I wanted to know are you friends with your children?
4 people like this
8 responses
@SViswan (12095)
• India
21 Jan 08
I'd say I'm a friendly parent (not too friendly sometimes and I'm sure they hate that). I feel that when you are only friends with your children, you wouldn't be able to discipline when they cross the lines (which they are bound to do). And furthermore, they need to lead a life of their own too...and they need to grow and have their own experiences which won't really be possible if a parent is a friend.
1 person likes this
@34momma (13918)
• United States
23 Jan 08
now that is a great answer Sviswan. they do need to grow and have their own experinces which they can't do with you being their friend
@SViswan (12095)
• India
24 Jan 08
It's always an internal conflict with me to balance the parent and friend....but I seem to be getting it now:) My son knows when he can joke around with me and when I mean business. So, I guess the balance is maintained.
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32386)
• United States
21 Jan 08
I am friends with my daighter but she knows that I am her mother will always be there to lead her in the right directiona and try to keep her out of trouble. I feel we can be friends also because I told her she can always come to her mom and talk to me about anything. I am the best friend she will ever have. she can trust me and I only want the best for her.
@34momma (13918)
• United States
21 Jan 08
I don't know if i would be comfortable being friends with my children. now that doesn't mean that we are not close or they feel that they can talk to me about anything. but for me being friends with them crossing a line that i don't want them to cross.
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32386)
• United States
21 Jan 08
I really don't consider us to be actual friends like I would be with a person my own age. I mean a friend they can come to and talk to and I will help them any way I can. I really mean someone they can count on and trust.
• United States
22 Jan 08
No, we aren't friends with our daughter. We aren't even friendly. We love her, but just don't like the things she does. She has totally rebelled and insists on living her life to suit her, which is a good thing in many ways, but what we consider against our wishes in others. I look forward to the day when she 'comes to her senses' and decides to join the human race. LOL
@34momma (13918)
• United States
25 Jan 08
i am so sorry to hear that teri. It would brake my whole heart if one of my children decided to leave the human race. of course we want them to live their own lives. but we want them to live them with our morals and values. when they want to go left when we are going right it hurts
@Angela34 (102)
• United States
21 Jan 08
Im a mother and a friend. I feel that you can be both. My children know that they can come to me and talk to me about anything. That I will be there for them. That I will support them. That they can joke around with me. They also know that I wont let them get away with ANY disrespect. If they do disrespect me or anyone, they are punished. Maybe there is a fine line there but I think you can be both.
1 person likes this
@34momma (13918)
• United States
23 Jan 08
i think what i mean by being friends with your children is doing this that they do with their friends. I don't mean not getting along with your children. of course you can joke, play, and be silly with your children. but i think as your said, to cross that already fine line would be way to much. and trust me there is no going back from there
@asgtswife04 (2482)
• United States
21 Jan 08
i am friendly to my children, but I am not here to be there friend. I tell them the same thing. I have to make sure they know what is to be expected out of them and while i would like for them to think of me as being a cool mom, i wouldn't do anything like letting them go or do whatever they want. I am way to protective in today's world. I would rather them think that I am a pain sometimes and them be safe, then to be the "cool" mom who lets them get away with anything. You just can't do that these days or they run all over you and take advantage of you and disrespect you. I won't stand for that because i care and love my children to much for that to happen. Thanks for posting this discussion and God bless
1 person likes this
@34momma (13918)
• United States
23 Jan 08
you are right about that. getting along with your children does not mean you are their friend. I wish more people understood that. good for you
• United States
22 Jan 08
Heck no, momma! I fact I am enemies with my older son, lol! (I'm really just kidding)
1 person likes this
@cherriemae (3375)
• Philippines
22 Jan 08
i have a 3yr old daughter, but most of the time i am a mother to her, but also i am a friend to her because i just wanted for her to become more open to me when she will grow..as a friend, your children is more open to you and that's what i wanted to teach to my kid..of course, we have to become a mother too so that they will respect us as well as become their friend for them to be more open and for them to become more comfortable to ask anything and comfortable to talk anything to us..
1 person likes this
@MGjhaud (20837)
• Philippines
26 Jan 08
My mother and I are like buddies or girl friends. I tell her my crushes and sometimes day dream in front of her hehehe.. She knows my close friends and almost what I do currently. I and my father are sometimes treating as what friends do but he’s more on like really the father figure. We talked different from how I talk to my mother. My father talks serious stuff like politics, economy, religion and all that but not exaggerating it of course. He’s got more impact on me when it comes to my life and my future.