education or.....

Philippines
January 31, 2008 4:54am CST
lately,I've made a very hard decision.I am forced to chose one,my boyfriend or my study?this is the story behind... My boyfriend had proposed me for marriage but I'm still studying.I have so many dreams not only for myself but mostly for my family.I have the responsibility to send my younger brothers to school and I want to help my family.yes,I love my boyfriend so much but what I am going to do?I really have to choose...that's why,I choose to continue my study..is this the right decision I made?I'm afraid I would regret this decision...Is this selfishness? It hurts me but I really have to....
7 people like this
19 responses
@lightningd (1041)
• United States
31 Jan 08
Life is about priorities. It appears to me that you have set your priorities correctly. You education is not only important for you but for your family as well. If your boyfriend truly loves you, he will be willing to wait until you have finished your studies. You won't be in school forever, and your boyfriend should realize that. That is priority number one for you. To finish school. I wouldn't look at it as you are having to choose between the two, you are making teh decision to finsih before you take on the responsibility of being a wife. It would be selfish of him to expect you to give up your dreams. If he loves you, he will be willing to wait until you are done with school.
1 person likes this
@santau (223)
• United States
9 Feb 08
I left college to move in with my husband (then boyfriend). We got married a couple of months later. I dont regret marrying him at all. It was the right thing for us to do. We lived in two different states. But honestly, I would choose school over your boyfriend. I dont see why you can't go to school and be engaged at the same time. You and your fiance should sit down and discuss your future. It is important for both of you and to your future together. If you get an education, then the probability of a happy life together is greater. The number one reasons why couples get divorced is money...and trust me it is extrememly hard to find a good paying job without a college degree. Just talk to each other. I have a feeling that you can work things out. Finish your studies and then wait to be married. I wish I had stayed in school. Life would be so much easier right now. Not having to worry about where we are gonna come up with the car payment or the credit card bills and even the student loan bills that are comming in the mail. Don't let yourself, your fiance, or your family (present and future) down. My advise is to stay in school. But your heart will know what to do.
@rsa101 (14885)
• Quezon City, Philippines
4 Feb 08
Well I truly admire you for your decision to pursue your studies. Although it can hurt but then you should also know that you've done this because you love yourself and more importantly your family. I dare your boyfriend if he really loves you he could wait for you to finish your studies and allow you to fulfill your dreams. If he could not do that for you then he is the one who is selfish and not you. You have chosen wisely and you will reap the benefits of it later in life.
• Indonesia
3 Feb 08
I agree with your choice. if your boyfriend really loves you, he will support you to continue your education even after he marries you. my question is: did he want you to not continue to study after marriage? if he did, then your decision is right. education is needed badly nowadays, especially to your future in working field area. if your boyfriend really loves you, he will support you continue your education and he will wait.
• United States
3 Feb 08
I'm going to give you the best advice I can so listen up. You a young girl at your age and when you get to our age one day you will realize it, but until then I'm going to tell you something that probably no one might not tell you - it's for your own good and will help you in the long run. You should see where you're at in life and ask yourself, "Am I ready to face life? Am I ready financially? Am I stable? Do I see myself in progress and succeeding in the next 5 years?" Look it's great and all the your boyfriend is proposing marriage, but then again ask yourself - is your boyfriend stable? Does he have a good job to support you? Then ask yourself are you stable enough to support him? You should get your priorities straight, mature and structure your life where you can say one day, "I've made it and done it!" You have the power of choice in what you do. Remember whatever path you choose becomes like a blue pill or a red pill, Avenue A or Avenue B, the narrow road or the wide path, the door that leads to the right path or the door that leads you to the wrong path. If you love your boyfriend you better tell him that you're not ready yet and you need to do some growing up. Get that education girl! Get up on your feet and get the right people in your life. All these things I'm telling you is like I'm a friend or if you were like a daughter. I hope you succeed in the long run - life has no regrets, because what has been done can't be removed, but only you can change and turn it around.
• Bulgaria
1 Feb 08
I think you've made the right choice. Education is very important and it will be the thing that will lead you ahead for a brighter future. I understand how you feel,but your boyfriend isn't the only responsobility in your life. It's not selfish at all. But if you two love each other so much how come he can't wait for you to finish school? All the best from me and good luck!
@drannhh (15240)
• United States
1 Feb 08
Good for you. Why waste time having regrets after you have made a life decision? Besides, there are millions of men in the world and they will want you forever, but a good education is hard to come by. If he loves you he will want what is best for you and wait. If he doesn't then, see, you really did make the right decision!
@angel08 (120)
• Philippines
1 Feb 08
You did not mention how old you are, but the mere fact the you're still studying why not finish it first before you get marry, education is very important to once life that's the only treasure your parents can give you. Talk to your boyfriend, if he really loves you he'll understand you.
@subha12 (18453)
• India
1 Feb 08
look before any committed relationship, there should be a successful career. And yes, you are truly there to fulfill the draem of your family and yours. You can have a good chat with your boyfrind and can let him wait for sometime before you settle down.
• United States
1 Feb 08
Both. I have a boyfriend and I am in college, and I am making it work. A lot of woman I know have a boyfriend or a husband and they still go to classes. You just have to make time for both. If he truly loves you, and he wants you to be a success, he will support you in all that you do.
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
1 Feb 08
No...you chose right. Your education is so very important. I am 51 and have been married twice and raised my children on my own. I have given up some dreams to hopefully save a relationship. it never works. If your man really, really loves you...he will still be there waiting for you after you have your education. He will support your desire to get an education. If he wanted to pursue an education prior to marrying you, would you support him or leave him? if it has to be a choice, its a fragile love....follow your dreams.
@youless (93111)
• Guangzhou, China
1 Feb 08
I think you made the right decision. I disagree to marry early. As you won't know whether you choose the right one since you are so young. Finishing essential education is important for your whole life. If your boyfriend does love you, he has to be patient and wait for you.
@asgtswife04 (2482)
• United States
1 Feb 08
First of all you shouldn't have to choose between going to school and your boyfriend. he should respect you and honor you for choosing to stay in school and it's selfish of him to make you think you have to choose. if he really loves you, then he will let you finish school and then you can start your lives together. You are not being selfish at all by continuing in your education. you should be proud of this and finish it. good luck and keep us posted. God bless
@johndur (3049)
• Pasig, Philippines
31 Jan 08
i think it is the right decision,marriage can wait but finishing school cant wait for you and besides you are still young to get into marriage plus you still have an obligation for your brother to make.im sure your boyfriend can understand ywhat ever decision you have made and if he does love you he will wait for the right time for both of you to settle down....good luck on your studies...
@stella1989 (2274)
• India
31 Jan 08
I feel that you took the right decision..!! As if your boyfriend really loves you he can also wait for you. Or else your can marry him and continue your studies side by side!!! If you can handle both of the responsiblites by yourself. It isn't selfishness at all because you are thinking about you family. And I am sure your boyfriend will understand you clearly and will agree to marry you later. YOu can even go on livin relationship mean while too...!! :)
@starangel (414)
• United States
31 Jan 08
You can study and have your boyfriend. Sit down and talk to him about what your plans are. Maybe you guys can work together and decide that marriage would be best after you graduate. Tell him about helping your family. If he loves you enough to propose, i'm sure he'll wait for you and maybe he'll want to help in the future w/ your family. If he's not ok w/ waiting until after you're done w/ school, then he may not be the right one for you.
@bunmi2501 (467)
• Nigeria
31 Jan 08
Oh girl, you need to consider that your life first before anything else, cos if you dont have the foundation, you can not get far with that relation. I will advise that you discuss with your boyfriend to see reason with you, you need to complete your education first of all before getting into any commititment.
@diillu (5128)
31 Jan 08
Well, I totally respect your descision. You haven't done something that you would regret for. We have more responsibilities to our family rather than any other. And you have really done a great job. If your boyfriend loves you then he will understand you and will respect your descision. If not then you can still move on and after completing your study you can help your family. Apart from that after being independent and educated you will find someone more better than him.
• Philippines
31 Jan 08
what do u feel about the decision u made? are u happy? well u know the important thing is, if your boyfriend truly loves you then he will by all means understand why u declined his offer. how can u call urself selfish..?? u are not! is taking time to help your parents send your siblings to school an act of selfishness?? i don't think so! when u make a sacrifice in your life for the betterment of other -- god will repay it a hundredthfold!