There's Life In The Old Wolf Yet
By Brian
@wolfie34 (26771)
United Kingdom
February 23, 2008 9:55am CST
For most of my life I have been rejected, and I guess I should take rejection with a pinch of salt, but it still hurts, I can't deny that. I should be used to it by now, but I guess because I have little confidence or self-esteem I tend not to approach people for fear of rejection
But last Wednesday with the worrying news of the impending medical and other stuff I decided to go out and I was feeling in a weird mood, you know when you feel so confused and bewildered, and I was determined NOT to sit and mooch around feeling sorry for myself.
Anyhow I saw this young guy and thought shall I say hello to him, then I thought no he won't be interested in me I'm way out of his league, probably in his early twenties and I'm in my late thirties I never make an issue of age, but he was a looker, not a pretty boy, but a boy next door type. Anyhow I thought about and I thought hell why not if he ignores me, what's one more rejection? So I backtracked and went over to him and I started talking to him!
Well he was only too pleased to talk to me, his name was Peter and I find out quite a lot about him and we chatted away for ages. I was so relieved that for once he hadn't rejected me, nothing became of it but I did get a kiss which I enjoyed and he left to go to work.
But he really made me feel better and I stopped feeling sorry for myself, I was quite chuffed, he had put a smile on my face and suddenly I found that things weren't half as bad. And it renewed a little of my self-esteem and confidence. He could have blanked me or walked off but he didn't
So thank you Peter, my guardian angel!
Has any stranger affected your mood for the better?
Have you done something that has surprised yourself and worked out a treat?
6 people like this
15 responses
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
23 Feb 08
Woohoo wolfie! I'm so happy for you that you managed to go up and talk to this guy, and take the risk of rejection. I'm also happy for you that you weren't rejected in this case. :)
I've had a few situations where strangers really helped my mood. Sometimes all it takes is a little bit of kindness from someone who didn't have to give it to remind me that the world is not all horrible, and people are not always cruel.
Some of these situations for me were more major than others. Obviously someone taking me to a shelter and helping me out when I was on the street was a big one, but even just having a stranger smile at me at the hospital the other day and wish me luck with my son's condition was also wonderful.
The best one in terms of self-esteem was the beautiful Asian girl that not only asked me to dance but wound up inviting me home... at a time at which I thought no one would ever want me again because I was so insanely messed up. I told her straight out that I wasn't stable and she should leave me alone, and she just smiled and told me that before I smiled at her that evening she was miserable, so I was the one helping her, not the other way around.
2 people like this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
23 Feb 08
That is wonderful isn't it, it is very true sometimes you think this world is such a horrible, wicked, evil place, that it takes just one stranger to touch you to make you sigh heavily and think wow! not everyone is bad. Sometimes it comes from the last person you'd expect, I think guardian angels walk this earth, call me simplistic but I really do. Thank you for sharing my friend x
1 person likes this
@mssnow (9484)
• United States
24 Feb 08
Now wolfie, darling. You know how jealous I get. lol. I'm glad this guy made your day. You need someone who can do that daily. I am always the one who chats with people and most of them at least are more than happy to talk to me. More than not they do make my day. Hugs xxxx
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
25 Feb 08
Wolfie that is just wonderful and I am glad that he made you feel better
My Guardian Angel is not a Stranger anymore Sweetie but he was when he cheered me up without even knowing how much he was helping me and he still helps me today 7 years later
@RobinJ (2501)
• Canada
23 Feb 08
Hi Wolfie, good discussion, and I think in order to answer I must ask you a question that is burning in my mind, Do you always like ever single person you meet or see? I will assume the answer might be no because we judge, and then think no, I don't care for that person because of a personal reason, it can be any thing, too tall/short to old/young. what ever it is, we just don't connect to every person we meet.
Now that being said, in effect you are rejecting them, and they are probably not even aware of it, but because of your history of living with abuse, you check a lot more closer to peoples reactions than most, so you believe automatically that most people are going to reject you, and you take that rejection very personally. If you can keep in mind that not every one likes every one else, it becomes a little less personal, and there for easier to accept, but the fault is not in you it is in others perception, that they will pass you by with out learning what a great guy you are. So if they do reject you think it is their loss, because you know you are a good person and they were silly not to find that out.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
23 Feb 08
The answer is definitely No! I see what you are getting at my friend and you are so right, I will try to keep that in mine, it's hard to break from taking it personally, I am a softie, and I am very sensitive, sensitive to others rather than being sensitive to myself and I probably said I am my own worst enemy, hopefully I can get help soon to break that vicious cycle. Thanks again x
@mummymo (23706)
•
25 Feb 08
Sweety i hate to see you think so little of yourself, you know I think you are amazing and would defend and protect you anytime. I am glad that you took that giant leap and said hello to Peter and so glad that he made you feel more confident in yourself! I guess that people I don't know have had the ability to change my mood, unfortunately for the worse as well as or the better! I can't think of any specifics right now but even when I didn't know you sweety you always made me feel better! Hugs xxx
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
25 Feb 08
You always make me smile, today I bumped into Peter again and he totally blanked me LOL! But I didn't care to be truthful I thought, right be like that then don't need people like that in my life, he did me a favour last week and that's it. Still I don't care I'm off out again Saturday night, boy don't they come round quick, my big reward for Horrible Wednesday which is due xxxxx
@ellie333 (21016)
•
23 Feb 08
Well done you for taking that bold step and for it being a successful encounter. As they say the only thing to fear is fear itself and in this instance you didn't allow the FEAR of rejection stop you. People I haven't met affect my mood in many ways each day, look at you guys of here for starters, though many years ago after years of being told I was the intelligent one and my cousin the pretty one I was feeling a bit stupid and ugly cos this beautiful cousin passed more O levels than I did, so was thinking not only ugly but thick as well! My guardian angel was a handsome drummer from a band I hada been watching who asked me on a date. Me why most people usually ask out my friend, he said take away her fancy clothes, her makeup etc and all you have is a shell whereas I love your personality there is a warmth and a depth to you that I want to get to know better. WOW did he make my night, but not only that he changed the way I looked at myself and I began to see my beauty as a whole from within. Ellie :D
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
23 Feb 08
That is true some people are good looking and seem to have everything on the outside, but inside they are hollow! It only takes ONE person, normally a stranger to make us take a deeper profound look at ourselves. Looks fade, personality thrives
1 person likes this
@TerryZ (22076)
• United States
23 Feb 08
Yaaaay Wolfie!! Im so glad for you. Now if I could only get a kiss.hahahahah Im glad Peter made you feel confident in yourself. Thats wonderful news. You never know till you try. Right? I bet you were on cloud 9 for hours.LOL Hugsxxxx
@p3halliwel2005 (3156)
• Philippines
24 Feb 08
Well rejection is part of life..It may hurt but we have to get used to it. Sometimes we have tolift our heads up even if there was rejection done on our part. No stranger affect my mood ..when I am rejected or dissappointed or just iver loaded with problemsI set it aside and keep myself busy. Surprising myself.. well I guess I surprised myself for staying strong after all the hardships in my life. :)
@abbey19 (3106)
• Gold Coast, Australia
25 Feb 08
No-one like rejection wolfie, but alas, that is life sometimes. When you saw this guy Peter, you kept a positive frame of mind and approached him - and it paid off! Sometimes all we want or need is to hear a kind word, even from a perfect stranger. We need that communication with human beings, it makes us feel good, and gives us confidence - as this encounter you had with Peter did for you.
I's happened to me too - sometimes when I'm standing in a queue, someone starts to talk to me - and we end up having a nice conversation. Makes you feel good about yourself. Keep thinking positively my friend; the world is your oyster you know!
@cdparazo (5765)
• Philippines
24 Feb 08
I remember someone saying once that the heart has so much capacity to heal and to love, that no matter how many times it gets broken, it would still mend its broken pieces together and love again. Your discussion reminded me of it. A lot of people do get rejected and yet they still have the courage to go for their happiness. One wonders why they still hope and why they still risk being hurt or rejected again. But that is life. One has to grab each chance of happiness, for even if one gets hurt again and again, one is also truly living life to the fullest. One could never be truly happy and find that elusive piece of heaven if one would let fear of being hurt or rejected rule. I believe, happiness are those for those who takes the risk and has the courage to face ones fears and go for what one truly wants. Have a nice day!
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
23 Feb 08
I think what you discovered, wolfie, is that most of the time our fears of rejection are groundless. Having had self esteem issues myself for most of my life, I know where you are coming from. Isn't it nice to know that sometimes all we need do is act on our impulses? I'm so happy you made a new friend and who knows where that road might lead.
@elemental69 (1561)
• Ireland
23 Feb 08
WTG wolfie!!! I am sure that was great for your self esteem.... Dont let anything stop you, if you see a guy you like and want to start chatting with him, go for it. Dont ever think of rejection if someone walks away. Tell yourself he is not worth your effort, and he is not right for you. If he is going to be ignorant towards you then he wont treat you right the way you deserve. :-)
@Loen210 (1540)
• United States
25 Feb 08
Woohoo, Wolfie!
We've just recently 'met' online, and become friends. And I'm getting jealous of Peter! Ha ha, just kidding. But he was a lucky kid to ge tto meet you! And when somebody you don't know, approaches you with warm words and shows interest, it makes you feel honored and happy. So, I'm sure he went to work (or home) just as happy and accomplished as you. I bet you make many people happy around you.
Hugs
@etavasi (749)
• Malaysia
23 Feb 08
Hi, that is call life. I think you should not so worry about rejected. Just be friends with them. If you are always think about it, it will make you always think about something that negetif. Just pray to God. I'm sure he will give you the best of what you want.
