A problem with some who refuse to cooperate with other denominations, help plz

United States
February 26, 2008 2:18am CST
Hey all~ okay, so let me bring you up to speed before i 'ask my question'. i'm the director at a local youth center, we are a Christian based youth center. we are NOT tied to or aligned with any one denomination, in fact we have workers from many different denominations (not different religions, different denominations) we serve all the youth in our area with NO pre-requsites, and with out regard to there religious beliefs, we DO encourage them towards Christ though. We have recently started a 'youth church service' that we run once a month. the only requirement i laid down, as director, was that the different denominations involved with it got along, and ignored the differences. after all we all believe the same requirements, what i call our core beliefs, that get us into heaven! and the other stuff, don't matter as much, so we should be able to get past it to work together for the youth. (and get along, after all we have to learn sometime...especially if we're going to be in heaven together!) okay so thats the background, now here's the dilema, we have one couple (a husband and wife) who have now refused to want to work with one denomination, due to the fact that that denominations supports homosexual rights. they even went so far as to say they didn't want the kids from that church coming to the service (all this w/out bringing it up to me) as the youth center, we are nuteral in a denominational stance, i have personally and officaly told them that that won't fly with me. yet they have done it anyway. what should i do now, i mean i will not allow them to splinter this, every other church has agreed to help out: Lutheran Catholic United Church of Christ Evangelical Free 2 Non-Denomination Church i need help in how to handle this, what to say, how to say it etc. etc....oh yea i need it dealt with before the next youth service, scheduled for March 29 thnx for your input ~j
5 people like this
5 responses
@barehugs (8986)
• Canada
26 Feb 08
Ok that should be easy! I notice you say your not tied or aligned to any one denomination, yet you write as if you are tied to them all. The problem is Christianity! Step aside from the Christian issues and work for the Youth. Its common knowledge Christians can't and won't work together. but they can and will ruin your effort to help your young people. Bring the churches into your non denominational organization without so much as a whisper of Christianity. This way anyone who objects is welcome to drop out.
• United States
26 Feb 08
The problem is not Christianity. The problem is the inability of the people to accept the others for who they are and not judge them. Just because some people don't fully understand the principals of Christianity, isn't an excuse to blame the whole Christian belief system.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Feb 08
all the other churches (denominations) HAVE agreed, and DO cooperate with eachother. so i dont think the problem here is Christianity....its these 2 individuals themselves. they are extremeist....and with that comes the inherant extremisim problems (same one's that exsist w/ muslim extremists, with the kkk, with the westburro baptist churhc, with nazi, with communist extremeists etc etc....) so thnx for the input, but i can't say i agree w/ the faith being the problem....with that said....i do see what u mean w/ set aside from the 'Christianity' and approach it differently....so thnx for the input :) ~j
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Feb 08
It's simple ubuntujason, Tell the people they can't participate if they are going to hinder your work. You are the one in control of the group. Not them. Tell them you appreciate their efforts, but you won't have anyone judgeing anybody. If they insist on judging people, take their assistance to another group where they are welcomed. Be bold and honest. You are concentrating on the group, not judgement.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Feb 08
thank you for ur input, and your right, as the leader/director, i need to take control of the efforts, and not let them hinder them :) ~j
1 person likes this
• Canada
3 Mar 08
I think that this couples opinion may not reflect the entire denominational opinion and that we need to remind these people that the church... any church is about people comming together and not people pulled apart. I think the best thing to do would be to have a long discussion reminding them on the teachings of love, forgiveness and tolerence which is the bases of christianity. If this does not work then it is that couple and not the denomination that is setting them apart. I would also try and tag team them with there denominational leader be it priest or reverend to try and help them get perspective on other people from the denomination.
1 person likes this
@deebomb (15322)
• United States
27 Feb 08
Jesus loved all the sinners. Look at who he hung out with. Just because he loved them doesn't mean he accepted their life style. You can't throw out the baby with the bath water. I would let this couple know that you are there to work with the kids not judge the church they belong to. I think I would ask this couple to step down because they will hurt your organization.
@deebomb (15322)
• United States
28 Feb 08
I look forward to learning how this plays out.
• United States
28 Feb 08
***another update*** I have been on fone calls most of today....so here's what it looks like right now: we have the fully committed support of the following churches: the lutheran church the united church of Christ the catholic church 2 different non-denomination churches by the end of this week, we should also have the support of: the assembly of God church the seventh day adventest church the evangelical free church and the free methodist church and that is all the churches in town willing to do anything! (there is one sepratistic church, they don't do anything outside of there own ranks :( ) so we're really excited! the next youth service, in march, will be all about Easter!!! ~j
1 person likes this
@deebomb (15322)
• United States
28 Feb 08
That is great. Praise the Lord.
• Canada
8 Mar 08
In my view it is important for organizations to start out the way they intend to continue. You said in your post: "We are neutral in a denominational stance, i have personally and officially told them that that won't fly with me." So hold to that. Creating safe emotional boundaries and standing in the resonance of what you know is your Source centered connection to love, honor, respect and non-judgment is key here. It has been said that best way to lead is by example. If you do not put a stop to the petty judgmental opinions of these two then others will raise issues and bones of contention and you will forever be doing damage control within the politics. If you have established a mandate...then hold to it. They can either shape up or ship out...their choice. We all have been given the right of free will..you choose...and let them make their decision about whether they will stay or go accordingly. From the sound of it you want like minded people...and they are obviously not of a like mind. Good luck with it... Raia
• United States
8 Mar 08
hiya perspectives~ i love the way you put that! it really lifted my spirits and put a huge smile on my face, thnx! ~j
• United States
21 Mar 08
perspectives~ i gave an update in the last person's comments....then i realized this was 2 pages :S and it won't let me copy and paste :( so theres a goo dupdates right b4 ur post! ~j
• United States
24 Mar 08
hey all~ i can't write much, i sliced my finger open lastnite and had to go get stiches....but i wanted to let you all know that our first official 'ecumenical' youth worship service (the name we settled on) went great! we had 4 or 5 denominations represented and participating....i adressed the leaders, and brokered an accetable deal with the couple....essentailly agreeing to disagree and to support the others service....but having two different services.....promoting one as a simple and basic worship service (the ecumenical one) and the other one as a discipleship service. ill answer questions or comments slowly.... thnx for understanding! (and all ur input everyone) ~j