Have you ever taken the initiative to flirt a man?

@dpk262006 (56170)
Delhi, India
March 31, 2008 2:31am CST
This one is specially for woman members. It is generally believed that it is the men who flirt woman (man take the initiative first, it is believed). But a recent study says that many women also take an initiate to flirt a man. I would like to know from you that have you ever taken any initiative to flirt a man or a boy? If you did, say for the sake of fun only, were you successful in your attempt? Were there some attempts which were unsuccessful too? Did you enjoy flirting with a man and enticing him into a relationship? If you succeeded, how long did your relationship last? Please share your views. Would be thankful for your valuable contribuation.
6 people like this
17 responses
@Roseo8 (2947)
• India
28 Apr 09
Hi Dpk......Today I casually logged in and came across this old discussion of yours.....I see intersting comments where passed by u,Aps and Cupie....... Any way when it comes to flirting I am afraid I do not have much comemnts to make from my side......I have led a sheltered life,and (thankfully)brought up as a typical Bharatiya Nari,and you know what that means..... It is said that even if a rose falls on a thorn or a thorn falls on a rose (he,he,mind you here I am not talking of my avatar),it is always the rose that gets hurt.......That is perhaps the reason why men tend to flirt more.......And this is perhaps also the reason that Aps ,me and SV have jointly formed NARI Sakthi,here in mylot .............
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
29 Apr 09
Hi! Rose! Doest not matter even if you lived a sheltered life and did not take any kind of such initiative to flirt a man. I feel you would not have showed courage to do so, when you were brought in conserative atmoshpere. You have given an extra ordinary example of rose and thorn, which I have not heard before.........LOL! Do you mean to say that a man is like a thorn and a woman is like a rose? I agree with you that most of the time it is a man who take the initiative, may be due to his nature or frame of mind. However, if your go through response, you may find a few response by women, who confessed that they took the initiative. Many Thanks for being so candid and joining us.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
29 Apr 09
pl. read ' if you go through responses'.......
@Roseo8 (2947)
• India
29 Apr 09
well Dpk this saying about the rose and thorn is oft repeated in kerala,in our local slang.It means that whether it is a woman who takes the initative or a man,ultimately its the woman who has to bear the brunt of such actions.......Got it?.....
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
28 Apr 09
I used to have this phobia of men as my father has instilled in us that men are no good and with his iron fist control of his daughters we weren't allowed to even go for parties without a bodyguard (usually my younger brother) and were only given 3 hours of party time. I never even dare to flirt with a man as my father's fierce face was always behind my head. That is maybe my regret in life for being too timid and being too fearful of my father. The first man who dated me was my husband and it was only a short while before my father told him to marry me or get loss.
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
29 Apr 09
Hi! Zandi! I can understand your position and it happens in most of the families here in India also. However, some changes are taking place, as far as younger generation is concerned. It is normally believed that most of the time it is a man who take the initiative, may be due to his nature or frame of mind. However, if your go through some other responses, you may find few responses by women, who have confessed that they took the initiative. Many Thanks for being so candid and joining us in one of the old discussions of mine.
@mayka123 (10598)
• India
20 Apr 09
When I was young and I liked someone I would take the initiative to make friends with that person. But I dont think that would be called flirting because I would not try to entice him to any kind of relationship. I dont think I would be able to flirt and entice anyone into a relationship. BTW since it is a year that this discussion has started what conclusion you have come to in this one year.....is it the men who flirt more or women.......I still say in comparison it is the men and not the girls.
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
21 Apr 09
Hi! Mayka! What made you touch this older discussion, I had completely forgotten about it. First of all to the last part of your response, this discussion did not get many responses and you see responses were mixed so it is difficult to draw a conclusion that who was more into it men or women. May be the balance will tilt in the favour of men, as it happens in our society, specially in India. It is a man who will normally take the initiative. So you also attempted to make friends with boys, when you were young and you did take some initiatives, this is what I understand from your response. Many thanks for joining and sharing your experience.
• Philippines
18 Apr 09
yeah sometimes..but i noticed..after all it's not me who is flirting it's not the man..once the man will know that you are flirting to him...he will be taking advantage of it..he will gonna make you believed you too is special..but he's just playing your feelings...this is commonly happen to those guys who have looks.
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
20 Apr 09
world!HI! You have point to make if given a chance, some men could take advantage of your emotions. Many thanks for sharing.
1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25454)
• India
5 Apr 08
..flirtings - Healthy flirtings are desirable.
Wow! Very interesting topic of discussion!! I feel the very concept of flirtations has been profaned to a great extent. We have moved and deviated greatly from the innocence and the healthiness that it supposed to be associated with. OK, let’s not go into the theory and before you attack me with your queries let me come to the point. I am an introvert kind who would not go beyond her dos and donots. I cannot remember the time when I started it all. However, if it came from the other side and if I liked the person, I might have flirted. Now, no one dislikes being liked. ‘You look gorgeous’, ‘You are enigmatic’….. There is hardly anyone who doesn’t contemplate on these. And some words of appreciation which we term as flirtious words can change the whole day. I had some friends who would flirt hugely with men. They would even come up with pick up lines and pick up moves. But then, I am talking about the time when we were young and turbulent and they were smart and carefree. So going by this, I feel, women do flirt a lot, they give the initial signal for men to pick up. And healthy flirting adds charm and spice to life. After it’s just flirting! Happy flirtings!
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
17 Apr 08
Thanks for sharing and enriching the post, I could not check it earlier. So the bottom line is that young girls do flirt, whenever they get an opportunity, may be healthy flirt, it is for the boys to understand their signals.
1 person likes this
@aisaellis22 (6449)
• United States
31 Mar 09
Hello deepak! I never ever flirt to man. Our country is conservative full of judgemental people and when a girl flirt to a man or who make a first move to court the guy, she is considered as cheap which is not good to judge her immediately.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
31 Mar 09
Hello! Aisa! OH! Again you reactivated a very old discussion of mine. Great! I can well understand your point of view that when a society is conservative and follow some traditions, it is difficult for a woman to make moves and go for flirting with any man/boy. And you being a nice person did not attempt anything which was not appreciated in your society. Many thanks for joining and sharing.
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Mar 09
hehehe..yes, you're right..it's hard to be judge just because of flirting to me. boys..hehehe..
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
20 Apr 09
1 person likes this
@kalav56 (11503)
• India
20 Apr 09
HI Deepak! This is not the 'done thing' in my upbringing friend.It would be blasphemy;We had a fairly conditioned upbringing and both in school and college we were monitored by the school/college authorities[not that it should be a deterrent to the determined and bold I know of an 82/83 old lady [a relative of ours-- ]who fell in love , had run out of the hostel by jumping over the compound wall[] to meet her date and later had had a love marriage[though of course within caste and community , but with parental resistance and subsequent helpless approval]; So, coming to my experience I am from a reasonably conservative family whose clothes too had to be censored/approved by mother. So, the thought too would be wrong to me.Then of course it is an arranged marriage,and so we must be on our best behaviour lest our reputation suffered--we would go to college and come back straight and that was all.I belonged to a forward thinking parent that did not prevent me from going a long distance to the University Library on special occasions with a group of friends. My sister also did he PG in a coed college and this was quite unusual in those times, in our place.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
21 Apr 09
Hi! Kala! I can very understand your point of view. When you have parents to look after your each and every activity and they keep monitoring your moments persistently, there is no question of going beyond any limits. I buy your argument that upbrining of a girl is lot to do with her nature and attitude. All in all the manner in which you were brought up and studied it was beyond you to think about flirting any guy, when you were young. Many thanks for joining and sharing your experiences in such an old discussion, which I forgot completely.......LOL!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
2 May 09
I did and I experiment, if the man who are the eye of my attention will response back. I do not mean that I flirt in a bad ways but just an innocent flirting. When, I talk to him, I make sure that he is looking and I smile coyly. I even touch my neck but not occasionally. And whenever, something is being discuss i make fun and smile then look down and look up again to him. I also notice when I laugh loud, everyone in the rooms smile. Well, it seems successful,I don't need to dress sexy just to be notice. He said it my smile that is attracts. Then, he started to call and talk for an hours at any topics.. Do you experience the same things? I do..
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
4 May 09
Hi! Neel! Thanks for sharing and enriching the post, it would have been really a great fun to entice men and see their reaction and hope you would have enjoyed it very much. Thanks for being so candid. I am on the other side of the fence, therefore, my experiences would be different from a girl/woman or for that matter you.
@riyasam (16578)
• India
28 Apr 09
i am an introvert but i do like to have fun at times.i,once flirted with a colleague of mine and at first he was bit confused(all these at my hubbys knoeledge),when he started becoming serious,i backed off,now we are good friends.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
29 Apr 09
Hi! Riya! Though you consider yourself introvert, yet your response tells that you did show the courage of flirting with one of your colleagues and made him confused and preplaxed.......... What I should appreciate in your response is that atleast you showed the courage to admit that you did take the initiative to flirt, contrary to the opinion, that women does not take initiaive. Thanks for being so candid and responding to an old discussion.
@ozzeth (942)
• Philippines
17 Apr 08
To flirt a man??? yup, i did. You know what? girls should be flirt sometimes. This can add an excitement to guys.
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@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
17 Apr 08
Did you go for flirting with anyone....LOL!??
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@subha12 (18453)
• India
31 Mar 08
no never i did so. i am just not that type. i have also read about this in today's paper. but i still believe its men who mostly flirt. i have seen also women who flirt on purpose.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
31 Mar 08
OK! No problem Suba! Please do not be defensive.....and say....I am just not that type....LOL! Everyone has different ideas and perceptions in life, so if you were not in a favour of flirting any man,nothing wrong in it. Thanks for sharing. Heartiest Congratulations on touching 6000 marks. Keep it up!
1 person likes this
@cupid74 (11394)
• Pakistan
1 Apr 08
Hi Nice discussion Deepak i dont know why u start it but its good women always blame men are flirt , so lets see if some one speak truth and reveal their secret but u know girls know how to temp and seduce man so ----------- no further comments other wise i will be bombared by ladies LOL I will enjoy the replies of ladies and hey sorry if u dont like reply from Male Byee
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
1 Apr 08
Cupid, Actually, the idea of the discussion came to my mind after I read a survey in a newspaper. So I thought this may be started as a discussion. Thanks for sharing your views.
@cupid74 (11394)
• Pakistan
1 Apr 08
oh ok whats was the survey all about ? i like the discussion, its good one y take care
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@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
1 Apr 08
The net result of the survey says that 'Woman also flirts, but man most of the time do not understand their singals that in fact a woman is trying to flirt with them'
@Candee (530)
• India
2 Apr 08
Oh we do that all the time. Most of my friends will go out of the way to provoke a guy and I feel there is no harm in healthy flirting. It is what gets us going. Life is full of tensions and it helps reducing it to great extent.
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
2 Apr 08
OH! My God! You and your friends are very bold.....LOL! I agree with you, as long as you enjoy it, without causing any harm to boys.....you should keep enjoying......Best of Luck!
@Candee (530)
• India
2 Apr 08
Yes, that's what is most important. C'mon we are not kiling people!! LOL.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
3 Apr 08
LOL! You are not 'killing' anyone, you are just having fun.......
@SViswan (12072)
• India
1 Apr 08
I don't think I have taken the initiative...but I've seen lots of women taking the initiative to flirt. And frankly, I see nothing wrong if they are not attached....and if it's clean flirting. Coming on too much isn't very pleasant for the others around. But I've had friendly banter with men (before I was married)...but the initiative has always been from their side and not mine.....so I can't speak about the success rate from my end. Most of my friends who did clean flirting were successful.
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
1 Apr 08
Thanks for sharing your views. I also agree with you that there is no harm, if it is clean flirting. Actually the net result of the survey says that women do flirt, however men are not wise enough to understand their sings and gestures. My discussions was based on a survey.
@SViswan (12072)
• India
1 Apr 08
Yes, I agree that women do take the initative to flirt too. But most men who are looking towards flirting will catch the signs pretty quickly (from what I've seen).
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
2 Apr 08
Would depend how wise the man, while catching the signals....LOL!
@ciades (1624)
• Philippines
1 Apr 08
What ah discussion you have dpk! I never thought about this..well, it's seem so interesting topic you got my friend. As they said, girl taught to learned in flirting with guys in a way of not staying single for a long period. Those other girl's that not usual of this kind of way. They should know a little bit about it. Lot's of old maide as this days and one reason co'z they are not IN with this kind of a thing. Too much conservative and aloof with guys are not good also..Need to be look attractive and daring sometimes. But used it in a right way and in a mean of a conservative way? . As my experience, if i like the guy and if i knew he didn't committed with a relationship. Sometimes im making things that sound not obvious that i like him. That's what i did to my first boyfriend when i was just 23 years old. I tried it and it's work. Probably it last for 7 months only co'z we decide both to end it due to the fact he is still studying that time and he taken up nursing. He is 3 years younger than me. And i am busy of my work and no such time for him. And i just found it also that he's really a jerk!!!!!!!!! lol.Well thats life. So, now...I never flirting anyone no more. IF i like a certain guy... i show it to him in my little way of friendship and then observe.
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
1 Apr 08
Your reply and thoughts makes an interesting reading. Thanks for sharing that you did flirt with a guy younger to you in age and you succeed......LOL! So you would have become aware of your positive and powerful traits and qualities...that you can seduce a guy....LOL! I also feel friendship is better than flirting.
1 person likes this
@ciades (1624)
• Philippines
2 Apr 08
thanks deepak!LOL.. and your right that friendship is more better than flirting. happy mylotting.
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@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
2 Apr 08
Thanks for agreeing with me, you are so sweet and kind!!!
@plumwish07 (4060)
• Indonesia
1 Apr 08
i think i did, but it was on senior high school. on that time, my intention to flirt him was to get his attention. he was so brightful student and also good appearance. i really wanted to get closed with him in order to know how bright he was, it was a challenge for me to get more every person who has "bright" performance in their brain. it just made me want to defeat them and yeah, it was succeed and we still communicate also had relationship as good friend till now.
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
1 Apr 08
That's quite interesting. I think you felt there was nothing wrong in flirting. It was part of the game (life). :):)
• Indonesia
1 Apr 08
ofcourse dear. i don't think there is wrong with doing any flirting and in my opinion flirting not always should be in love relationship, am i?
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
1 Apr 08
Yes, I agree with your views.
@SomeCowgirl (32270)
• United States
31 Mar 08
I have flirted with only one man and am now in a loving relationship with him. I surprised myself when doing so, but I suppose I had the guts to do it because this man was a shy one. It boosted his confidence and mine as well.