Anyone Adopted and Found their Birthmother?
By momalisa65
@momalisa65 (1971)
United States
April 12, 2008 8:18pm CST
I was adopted at birth and raised by a good family. They had a daughter of their own when I was 4 years old, So she became my sister. I always wondered about my birth family though.
On my 40th birthday, 2 years ago, I was talking to my sister on the phone. I was telling her how I drove 2 hours with a friend to the town I was born in and looked through old newspapers but they apparently didn't keep records of births in the papers back in the 60's so I wasted a trip.
But on the way home from that trip, my friend mentioned that sometimes in the old days people who couldn't keep their babies would give them to a relative. I thought and thought of all the relatives I had but couldn't come up with anyone who seemed like that would've happened to.
My sister then told me that she had no idea I was interested in finding my birthmother, but she heard something that may help. My adoptive father had a sister who was my favorite aunt. She had a daughter my age who got married a few years ago. My sister said that one of our other cousins was at that wedding and identified a woman in the wedding was "Lisa's real mother".
She was my aunt's HUSBAND'S sister. So she was not a relative, but a relative of an In-Law. I eventually asked my Aunt about it and she got me in contact with my birthmother. We met and kept in touch and have been friends ever since!
4 people like this
9 responses
@wrongway (277)
• United States
13 Apr 08
I am so happy for you for being able to find out about your real birth mother. So many children never get that chance. I think, or should I say I wish that when mothers decide to give up their children for whatever reason they should make a little booklet up with information in it that could be given to the child when they are grown "if" they decide they want to find out about their real parents. Not only would it give the children some family history, it might come in handy for medical reason and stuff.
2 people like this
@momalisa65 (1971)
• United States
25 Apr 08
That's a great idea, I think they should do that too.
2 people like this
@SassyKittyKat (2135)
• Australia
13 Apr 08
Wow, that is so awesome how that worked out. It's amazing! Congrats to you on finding your real mother.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
7 Nov 08
Your story is very touching. I share your joy of finally finding your roots. I wonder after knowing and meeting your birthmother, what is your feelings towards here. Hate? for giving you away or no feelings at all? How did you know that you're adopted and what was you initial feelings when you knew that you are an adopted child? I have two adopted daughters and until now they do know they are not my biological children. They are 9years and 14 years respectively. Even if my daughters know that they are adopted and wish to trace their birthmother I think it is difficult because they don't come from the same country as I am and was handed over to me when they were 1 years old and through a second party.
@maximax8 (31053)
• United Kingdom
10 Aug 08
Wow! That is a lovely description of how you found out who your birth mother was. I am really pleased that you grew up in a loving family. People say when they get to 40 they wonder about things and try make their life as good as possible. It is so lucky that your cousin got married and one of your other cousin identified a woman as your real mother. She was your favorite aunt's husband's sister. So she is your uncle's sister. It was wise that you thought that she might have been a relative because she turned out to be the relative of an in-law. It is lovely that your favorite aunt got you in contact with your birth mother. It is fantastic that you and her have become best friends.
@momalisa65 (1971)
• United States
11 Aug 08
Wow, you really described my story well! When I explain it people in real life, they don't quite get the connection. I have to keep explaining how my birthmother was not really a relative to my adoptive parents, but she was the relative of an in law.
The next person who asks me, I might just send them here to mylot to read our discussion. Then maybe they'll understand. Lol!
Thanks for your response.
@schulzie (4061)
• United States
12 Jun 08
Wow! I'm so happy for you finding her! My parents were divorced when I was very small and I never met my father. A couple of years ago I found one of my cousins and she got me in touch with one of my father's sisters. I got to talking with her and everything and wanted to get my father's phone number, etc. It was then that they told me that my father had passed away 2 years earlier. I was so sad that I never got to meet him or know him. But I guess it wasn't meant to be. But, I am very glad for you!
1 person likes this
@momalisa65 (1971)
• United States
13 Jun 08
That's too bad. It's good that you got to meet your cousin and your father's sister. Hopefully they had some pictures of your father to share with you.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
13 Jun 08
momalisa thats great you found your birth mother,and
your adoptive sister helped you, that was also great.
I have always been so glad when adopted people could
find their birth parents as I always thought it would'
be sort of a void, knowing you were adopted but not'who
your birth parents were.I was one of the lucky ones who
were born to my parents and not adopted but lol sometimes
my mom used to wonder just where some of my traits came
from lol.
@nanajanet (4436)
• United States
13 Jun 08
What a wonderful story! Isn't it funny how things work out. I do believe in fate or things that are meant to be!
