Why do some people complain about everything?

United States
May 27, 2008 7:49pm CST
In my life, I've known really happy people and really sad people. And, I've loved them both. But, I've never been a big fan of perpetual complainers. I've known those types of people too. I'm not talking about people who have a daily gripe. It's normal to have daily gripes or little annoyances. Those are small ways of venting steam. You have to take it out on something small or you end up bottling up your stress. That's no fun. Mostly, I'm talking about people that constantly find fault with others and life in general. And, they do it about perfectly good things. If their kids do good in school it's not good enough. If their spouse makes good money, it's never enough. They live in a beautiful home, but it's not as good as it could be. Sometimes, I think these types of people complain so much because they don't really value or love themselves. Have you met these types of people before? The constant complainers who find fault with everything you do? The people who are never satisfied with the work of others, no matter how valuable? The people that ruin even the best things for everyone.
9 people like this
25 responses
• Australia
28 May 08
I believe that people treat other people the way that they secretly treat themselves. So if they are judgemental, negative and always something to complain about I would say their self-talk is very similar. The way I have been able to live with these people in my life (you know they say you can choose your friends but not your family) is to feel pity towards their unhappiness in life and therefore with themselves. I always make sure that I tell them I am sorry that they feel that way and point out the good that I see in that situation that they feel they need to bitterly complain about. When I started doing this I found that it made them complain more about other things so that I could help them find the good in more that one situation that is plaguing them. I found though over time, it has caused them to pick themselves up on their negative behaviour without me! I feel that the poor complainers in life need help to see the good. Certain complainers in my life now call me the 'happiness lady', I like that I can bring good into their lives and that I don't let their unhappiness cloud my life. I have hope that one day they will be satisfied with themselves and therefore their life, and not the other way around.
@owstalaga (4152)
• Philippines
31 Jan 10
wow, maybe i should do that to my friend who complains a lot. i guess i'm not really much of a people person but the way i see it she also needs some positive people around her. =)
• Canada
28 May 08
Some people complain about everything, just because they have nothing better to do, and because they can't stand to see other people succeed, or have a better life than they think they have. I have no time for those kinds of people, and I avoid them like the plague!!!
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (76013)
• Marion, Kansas
28 May 08
They also complain because they cannot stand silence, but cannot think of anything to say.
1 person likes this
@carlaabt (3509)
• United States
28 May 08
That really bothers me too. Especially when they are people that I'm not even that close to, and they still complain to me all the time. I'm sure I complain my fair share, but I don't just whine and complain every time I talk to acquaintances. In college, one of my neighbors was ALWAYS complaining about something. His daddy bought him a brand new Honda Accord when he graduated high school, but he was upset because it was the wrong color. When I knew him, he was a freshman in college, and was already trying to convince his dad to get him a different car. His parents were also paying his rent for his 3 bedroom apartment that he lived in by himself (he "needed" the 3 bedrooms because he needed the closet space!!), his utilities, etc. They paid his gas card each month, his mom bought his groceries, and they gave him $500 each month for spending money. But it wasn't enough! It drove me absolutely crazy, maybe mostly just because I was working for everything that I had. My parents would give me gas money every once in a while to come home to see them, but that was it. Everything else was paid for by me or my sister (who was my roomie).
1 person likes this
• United States
28 May 08
I hear you! I've been in those kinds of situations, too. But, you learned so many valuable life and money lessons early on. You learned to be self sufficient. That other bozo clown guy did not. He is probably still depending on the generosity of others. Independence is worth it's weight in gold. It's a good thing to struggle sometimes, even when others do not. Be well. Thanks for dropping by.
@subha12 (18472)
• India
28 May 08
i think its by their nature. they are themself making their life miserable. may be they demand too much from life. or they expect too much. in reality when that is not possibl, they complain.
1 person likes this
@mentalward (14716)
• United States
28 May 08
These people are very, very depressed. I was married to one of them. If he couldn't find something to complain about in his real life, he'd start complaining about people on TV. He was a short man and suffered from "Short Man Syndrome." That's a real syndrome! He was trying to make up for what he considered to be a shortcoming (Ha! A pun!) by being loud and obnoxious. He was extremely insecure. Our marriage was ending, I left him, and he finally went to counseling where he was diagnosed with severe depression. (He claimed he was 'cured' after 2 sessions with the therapist, but he just said that to get me to come back. I didn't come back, but his temper and complaining did!)
@sanzi1201 (645)
• China
28 May 08
I don't like to complain too.And don't like to hear somebody to complain a whole day.I think it's useless and bored.There're joys and sorrows of life.We should know how to enjoy and get through.When we get old ,these will all become interesting memory in our mind and life.So,don't comlain sth or sb.
1 person likes this
@kykidd (6825)
• United States
28 May 08
Oh yeah! I have met these people, and am even related to some of them. I myself call them pessimist. Sometimes I think they just need to learn to appreciate what they have, and even more will come.
1 person likes this
@atv818 (1988)
• United Arab Emirates
23 Mar 10
Just imagine if all of us are positive thinkers and non-complainers, then it will be quite boring. They are the way they are. The difference makes every individual unique so we much respect our respective individualities. If you love the person who is a complainer, you cannot dictate them to change. They have to realize that for themselves. Just try to show them the error of their ways in the kindest and loving possible way. Mention this to them: "Producers are not complaining. Complainers are not producing."
• Philippines
24 Apr 12
Hmm.. I think I like this answer. We need complainers sometimes to show us what is wrong.
@indahfth (11177)
• Indonesia
24 Apr 12
Perhaps, I am the person who is always complaining. My life is very, very hard, make me always complaining, because, never have easy lives. Not that I'm not grateful, and feel satisfied with what I have right now. But, the difficulty I had, made ??me very depressed, and often complained.
@Remmie7 (168)
• United States
28 May 08
Sometimes I think its become a habit with them. They complain so much I don't think they know when they are doing it (some of them). I'm like you I just don't like those that are excessive complainers. You can give them a compliment and they'll complain about whatever you complimented them on instead of just saying two words-Thank you!
@Shaun72 (15970)
• Palatka, Florida
28 May 08
Yeah I have family members who act this way. One of my aunts. She works for a lawyers office. Of course she thinks she is better then everyone else and she complains about everything not being up to her standered I guess.
• United States
28 May 08
Oh, don't even get me started........ but you did so here I go... he-he. I am a glass-half-full kind of person. Always have been. I have an inherent need to always find something good about anything bad that happens in my life (or others'). I know some people find me annoying because of this trait. They'd rather wallow in their sorrow and poor me's. I truly believe that you are what you think. If you think negatively all the time - don't blame me for all the bad luck in your life. If you find things to be grateful for - even during a bad time - things seem to go smoother in life. Oh, we all have bad things happen and we all eventually die but it's what you do with what life hands you that determines how your life will proceed from there. I know some people that are always having incredibly bad luck. Guess what? They are so negative all the time. It's like they attract bad things to them with all that negativity. And when I try and give them helpful ideas, they are always follwed up with a "but" - a reason why they can't try my suggestion. I once told someone to start writing 5 things to be grateful for everyday and she actually said she didn't have one thing she could think of! Ummm......... how about a roof over your head? How about having someone who cares about you? Heh. Then she started arguing with me about those things. I give up! I now realize some people just don't want to be helped and they revel in their bad luck. They have a need to be perpetual victims. So be it.
@carolbee (16245)
• United States
28 May 08
Three years ago I reunited with a friend from grade school at a reunion. One problem, her mentality never left grade school. We remained friends for a couple of years until I couldn't take it any longer. All she ever did was complain about how she wasn't dealt a fair deal in life or love. I couldn't take the constant, "well, if I had money" or "I can't pay my bills" and had to slowly fade away from the friendship. I finally had to tell her not to call me any longer because I don't like the phone which is true. I didn't pay her bills but did take her to lunch or dinner often because she didn't have money to buy food either. Here's the kicker: she had money to buy various pieces needed to make jewelry. Her priorities were all screwed up. We only email once in awhile now and primarily because my ears couldn't stand the constant complaining anymore. Bottom line is she was jealous and just not happy with herself. That wasn't my fault or my problem. She will never change and that's ok since she lives alone and will have to deal with herself. I have a husband and 3 grown children. She was always so jealous. My husband is successful and our kids are as well. She made nasty comments to our kids more than once and really that was all I could handle. This protective mom didn't digest her rude comments to our kids especially since there was no reason for it. I have to say my life is better because I don't have to report to her about where I am going, etc. It's sad and I feel sorry for her but I can't change her. She made mention more than once she didn't have any friends. Unfortunately, I understand now.
@kalav56 (11505)
• India
28 May 08
I have also come across this type and I really find it strange. Moreover, these people would have no real cause for complaint but they are perennially dissatisfied.While it is very irritating to us we should also say these people are miserable because they can never be happy.I hate to complain[like you pointed out everyday small irritations and annoyances are part of life.] But these are a separate miserable set of people who are both unhappy in their own right an they make the others around them unhappy too.Imagine how difficult it would be for the spouse and near and dear ones!
@ruby222 (4849)
28 May 08
Like you those who continually complain drive you nuts!!!..there are a lot who make a hobby out of it..but it just drags me down!!theres no point in it all..if they have a very genuine point then yes say it and get it off of their chest..but then let the matter drop...theres no point in rattling on and on about it....Its far better for our health to have a postive outlook anyway...it keeps us bright and fresh...and if we are put with someone who is continually negative it rubs off on us!!!
• Philippines
28 May 08
Because they do not put their time on appreciating thing. Commonly they are called the perfectionist, they tend only to see the errors or what can be improved. They are the one who often get old to fast because of stress they make. I do know if they are happy on what they are doing, If they are not annoying you let them be, it's they way of life.
@nengs10 (3190)
• Philippines
28 May 08
There are really people who are like that. What they like to do is complain and say nothing but criticisms. They seem perfectionist to me. It's hard to encounter such people at times since our usual reaction to them is to be annoyed and intimidated.
@ezway9 (35)
• Malaysia
28 May 08
Those people who want to complaining all the time can be consider selfish. Why? Because they can take it. Well, comment the good things rather than alway mad and blaming each other. try to be tolerant with other. Give respect to them, then they will respect us too. Be motivated all the time. EzmatureGuy
@elmiko (6642)
• United States
28 May 08
I'm related to people like this and to be honest it stinks to be around when there talking with each other. I think to myself if this is their personality I don't even want to hear anything from them. I notice too many things I look forward to in life to act like this way too much.
@myliezl0903 (2735)
• Philippines
28 May 08
well, basically those people who camplaints a lot are those who are not satisfied also with what they have in life.,they just put it in the other way like seeing other peoples mistakes or telling them that they are not good enough.,i've known some people who behave like this and i feel sorry for them coz they don't feel anything aside from being so nothing in this world.,