Using the word "hate" when referring to your' child?

I think she is just used to the word ‘hate’ without any conscious thought, like most of us are. For myself, I can say this much that off late, I am consciously practising the replacement of hate with dislike. I feel that the word hate denotes an extreme emotion…something from which there is no backing out. Once you hate a person, you cant just go back on your emotions and start liking that person say, a few months later! Well, regarding the use of word ‘hate’ for our children…no question of it. If I start hating my own child, I would have to start hating myself first.

What she said was in her opening line "Was Sometimes I hate Teenagers." The hate was not at all applied or directed at her daughter, and she even said that it was bad wording.... I know what conversation you are talking about quite well, and let me assure you that that mother would DIE for her child. I came to her defense as she was being judged heavily and not at all what she meant by her opening line......

I am sorry Rebecca Lynn but you have just done much worse by making it seem as though she said she hated her child or her childs behaviour. What she actually said was I hate teenagers sometimes! I think most mothers have felt that way but irrespective of that you have misrepresented what this lady actually said. I could never hate my children but I do hate their behaviour that does not make me a bad mother and you a perfect one or vice versa it just makes us different! I don't know your experience in life but I respectfully would say that maybe something has been done or said to you in the past that makes you very sensitive to this word or that thought and has made you overreact! Did it ever occur to you that only one other mylotter "called her on it" (and after the poster explained what she meant apologised for being harsh!) because many of us have been there and experienced it and actually read into her post what was meant rather than twisting things ever so slightly to get the validation that you need? Well that is the impression I have taken from this discussion.

I have apologized amny times for the way the title was worded, and not once did I get upset about anything someone else said about it. I simply apologized for the way I worded the title and explained what I meant by it. The way you worded your discussion makes it appear that I either stated that I hated my child, or told my child that I hated her. From reading you post it does make it appear that what I actually said was taken out of context. Did I use the word Hate? Yes I did. Did I word the title worng? Yes I did. Did I once during my discussion use the word hate? No I did not. Did I ever say that I hated my daughter? No I didn't. Am i upset that you posted this? No I am not but I do wish that when you did you would have refferred to the behavior in question and not just focus on the title that I put on the discussion. You have every right to say anything you want on MyLot which is one of the reasons I enjoy being here. It gives me oppertunity to vent on things, and have discussions about things that I would not have the oppertunity to do otherwise. Never once did I get upset about any of the responses I got, and not once did I jump down anyones throat. I do apologize that the title I had written to my discussion offended you. I typed something out in the heat of the moment, and while most people took it the way it was intended, some didn't. I could say that the way your discussion was written slanted at not what the discussion was actually about but the only thing you focused on which was the word hate. Unfortuantly people don't always take things in the context they were ment in and that is partly my fault for the wording that was used in my title. I don't apperciate saying that I had gotten upset over something someone had said when I didn't. What I had did was apologize for the wording of the title and explain what I meant by it. Yet that was missing also from your discussion. We are all entitled to our opinions, that is one of the great things about this country, we are also entitled to explain our actions if that is needed as well.

I think hate is a really strong word and shouldnt be thrown around. I try never to tell my children off when im angry it doesnt help and usually makes you say something you dont really mean hence they (and me ) get time out and then il discuss what they did wrong. I dont even think id tell my child I hate something they did no matter how bad it was I just dont think there is any need and definitley no need to say you hate your child sometimes I dont like what they are doing but I always make sure they know I love them no matter what

i haven't seen the discussion you were referring to. But i think it's not wise to have such rants published online. Even if the woman is just venting, but the fact that it's been published and read by a lot of strangers makes it look bad. I'm not against people who rant online, but doing so is also like hurting the person emotionally, even if that person won't be able to read your rants. I did it once (vents, i mean) in my blog and my husband told me, is it necessary to air out such thoughts? And I believe he's right. It isn't proper and just makes the situations worse. Besides, if I was the one in the shoes of the person being ranted about, what will I feel? I hated our former classmates when they talked behind our back, and such discussions like you mentioned is the same, I'd feel hurt. Well, that mother should have thought at it first before publishing her vents in myLot. She should have thought of getting in her daughter's shoes once she have read the discussion. And I'd say, putting the "hate" word will just worsen their relationship. Instead of having a solution, they'll just end up fighting each other more often.

I didn't see the discussion you're talking about. I think hate is a word that people often throw around without really thinking about what they're saying, but it's not a word I would use with regard to my child, nor would I generally expect other parents to do so. I understand people wanting to come on here and vent. Well ... I don't really because I don't really understand people wanting to spill all the gory details of their private lives on here but I guess some people are comfortable doing that. Anyway, venting is fair enough but once someone says something in open forum then it's fair game. People have every right to call them out on it or to at least express their own opinions. I'm tired of seeing people get "upset" because someone has dared to disagree with them. It's a discussion forum - anything posted on here is open for discussion. If people just want to make speeches and have everyone agree with them then they're in the wrong place.

i never think that using the word hate is right... it is ok to dislike the actions or behaviours of a person... but you can't dislike and even more hate the person... hate is a very strong word to be used and i will be very careful in using it... i am just amazed that some people can use the word hate so easily... especially to their children... that is really totally unacceptable... take care and have a nice day...

There is a person here who punishes their offspring in the most nasty and cruel ways in my opinion. This person is totally selfish and expects so much from her children. I relly think she pushes them to the limit and I don't mean in a loving, parental way but in a way that belittles, humiliates and to my way of thinking is truly damaging. It shocks me to see that so many side with this person. I feel so gutless for not calling them on it but it enrages them when it happens and then they post another "crying vent" as the victim of the nasty people who dared say anything negative to them. This person exagerates (and that's the polite term)as well to make her stories sound better. There is so much in the news regarding dysfunctional families and even here in Australia shocking things are ocurring. People hear things and don't report them and then tradgedies happen. Some people should never be allowed to have children. I feel somewhat ashamed of myself for being so angered by this type of thing because obviously these people have mental issues and need help. Someone, somewhere has to do something.

Before I write my Opinion on it I will first put in the definition of hate. hate Pronunciation verb, hat·ed, hat·ing, noun –verb (used with object) 1. to dislike intensely or passionately; feel extreme aversion for or extreme hostility toward; detest: to hate the enemy; to hate bigotry. 2. to be unwilling; dislike: I hate to do it. –verb (used without object) 3. to feel intense dislike, or extreme aversion or hostility. –noun 4. intense dislike; extreme aversion or hostility. 5. the object of extreme aversion or hostility. You can find this on dictionary.com When I read you title I was a bit huh how could a mother say they hated their child. But then I got a link to the other discussionand read it and saw how you interpretted it. Your discussion misinterprets that discussion you made a totally different discussion from her words and twisted them to suit you. Using the word "hate" when referring to your' child? Your interpretation above and below. But she used the word 'hate' when referring to her teenager and that bothers me. The actual context... I really hate teenagers sometimes Let use the sentence and fill it in with a word from the definition. I really dislike teenager sometimes. That is me filling it in with the definition given of hate. one of the meanings of hate. and it is geared towards all teenagers not her daughter I read the whole discussion which you say above that she stated that she used it refferring to her teenage daughter. Hmmm it was to all teenagers and sometimes.... here is your discussion question one of them When you post anywhere online, in any forum and you say things like that to total strangers, do you then have the right to get upset when they call you on it? Yes you can have a right to get upset about anything you want at anytime you want. No one has the right to tell you what you can and can not be upset about it especially if you're called wrongly because a person doesn't take the time to read and process and just sees the word hate. Is it right for you to judge someone so harshly on something that isn't what you say it is???? I'm a parent of 5 kids two with disabilities and I have tss's and pyschiatrists and therapist and we work with the children individually and they always tell me that you can tell them you hate or dislike their behavior as long and you make it clear that it's their behavior not them. I find that you sat here and chose to tear a person down because in the heat of the moment she chose a work you don't use. Bully for you. You chose not to use that word at all. But stike one for you too for not reading the whole discussion and stepping back and realizing that the title was not the sum of the discussion. Not everyone is calmed down by the time they make a discussion sometimes they only calm after they vent and don't realize what they write or how they write it. but in any case we are a community that is supposed to be here for each other not point out our faults and then tear a person to shreds becuase she using ONE word that you don't like and it's geared in generalization. It was a title. Now if she was going on and saying I hate my daughter I can't stand her. Then I would be shocked and upset. But the use of I hate teenagers. That is use in emotion and hate can be used a dislike to an extreme aversion. So there are levels of hate and if you actually processed the true discussion and not the title then you would see it was a mother who was venting about a child and needed to have our support. Also no one here makes you read the discussion that you don't like..Why even continue to read it why not pass it by and not respond at all? It's all about choices and how we chose to respond and interact with eachother.

I am the first person to stand up against the use of the word hate. HOWEVER I am also smart enough to realize a euphemism when I see one and to be able to distinguish between it and the true meaning of the statement it was used in. GET A GRIP Rebecca. EVERYONE on the face of the earth who has ever had a teenager has said or thought (if they would be honest about it) "God I hate teenagers!" We are not talking about actually hating a child, we are talking about the use of a common phrase that express frustration but NOT hate in the strict definition or sense of the word. It was used in the title of the discussion. Upon reading the discussion itself it was obvious what was really meant by the lead line and it certainly wasn't a hateful post against a child. People need to learn to read and put into perspective the ENTIRE message and not jump on a poster over one little word, basically taken out of context. So yes, she had the right to get upset and you had NO right to call her on something she didn't mean, but YOU ascribed a meaning to that wasn't meant at all. Shame on you!

no of course not but I think she was overreacting and did not really realize she had put that down in writing. I imagine she was upset when she saw she had used the word hate. I mean sometimes we say I'd like to kill my hysband when he does so and so,but we are really joking, we are not at all serious. maybe that was what was in the back of the lady's mind when she wrote that.you are right she should not getupset when people call her on the use of hate.

Yes, I saw the discussion, but that does sound a bit harsh.. I did not post at this discussion, because I disliked how it was titled.. I would never say hate.. That is too much of a strong word..

I can see using the word hate when talking about something my child may have done or said. To use the word hate when referring to my child, there's just no reason for it. My kids do things that I hate all of the time, but I hate the thing they do, not them.

I think the word hate has been over used - just like children and adults tell you they're 'starving' when they just mean they feel hungry. In this case, in the story you tell about this woman talking about her child, I am hoping she meant that she didn't like (or hate) her childs actions and not her child - very different things.

I do think that this topic is uncalled for as a direct consequence for a title in a post. Whether it was termed badly or not, the poster never said she hated her daughter. Every one who is condemning her behavior and use of words should have read and given it thought before you answered. Dealing with a teenager is not the easiest thing to do in anyone's life. How many of you have opened yourself to damaging consequences and judgmental conversations such as this by making a statement about something your child did without realizing how it would make you sound? How many of you have made an error in judgment when dealing with your child's actions? I proudly admit that I have made mistakes in dealing with my children, because they help me grow and learn how to handle it better the next time. Read the post again, Ladies and Gentlemen. Not once during the entire discussion did the poster say she hated her daughter. She did not say she responded rudely or overreacted to the situation. She handled it correctly by not tolerating her daughter's behavior. This title was taken out of context for the result of a good debate. Not that I mind a good debate, but aren't we all being just a bit harsh in judging a poorly written title? If poorly written titles were the reason for MyLot, you would all have millions of posts after your names.