I quit my job to take care of my mother

@mnflower (1306)
United States
July 21, 2008 4:35pm CST
Ok lots of people think that I should of went to work and gone to my mothers side when I could be here is my guestion what would you do? If your mother was taken by the ambulance with breathing problems and when you got there within 7 hours she was taken to the icu unit and put on life support would you walk away and say well I have to go to work? Well I could not do that so I called and quit my job for I am the only girl in the family and the stronger that keeps the family together, so I took it upon myself to sit by her side daily ..She was on full life support for 4 days and icu for another 3 days on iv's. she was then sent home 3 days later and she still could not walk so I took my time to spend another week to be there with my father to help get my mother back and forth to dr. appt. and to help him getting her walking again, she now starts theraphy tues.. So can you tell me did I do wrong by quiting my job? What would you of done?
8 people like this
30 responses
@Wyldrose (1217)
• United States
21 Jul 08
I would of done the exact same thing. There is no way I would let my mom go thru something like that alone and if it took quitting my job, so be it. I'm sorry you had to go thru this and am hoping your mother is better by now...you are in my prayers.
2 people like this
@mnflower (1306)
• United States
21 Jul 08
Thank you for your prayers and even those these are hard times for my mother she is the most important person in my life and I will and would do the same as I have been doing at any time...
@Wyldrose (1217)
• United States
22 Jul 08
You are most welcome. :) My mom just lost her husband of 46 years ( my wonderful stepdad) and she has been lost for the last couple of months so my sister and I have been helping her all we can. Plus she has other health issues as well. Anytime she needs me,she knows I am just a phone call away and can be there in a heartbeat. :)
1 person likes this
@inia_54 (176)
• Malaysia
22 Jul 08
I would say you are a good daughter. But do you really have to quit your job? Can't you discuss with your employer to take unpaid leave for few months until your mother is well. But if at all mother takes longer to recover, then you can quit working altogether. But if you wish to work again, and if you can afford, may be you can think of hiring a maid.
@mnflower (1306)
• United States
22 Jul 08
I would never hire another person to take care of my mother no matter what the situation is that is my mother and she took care of me and would do the same to me today if needed and it is only fair for me to return the love and affection she has given to me...I did speak to my job and someday I may go back there.
@underdogtoo (9608)
• Philippines
22 Jul 08
I support your decision to do what you did. Quitting your job for your mother is a good thing and she needs caring for so you cared for her. I applaud that.
• China
22 Jul 08
I support you! It's not an easy thing to you.If I were you I would make the decision as same as you. Altough you quited your job, you can stay by your mothers side.It's enough... Take my prayer to your mother~
2 people like this
@youless (65295)
• Guangzhou, China
22 Jul 08
You are a very good child I think it is a very difficult decision. Because you are responsible to take care of your mom. However, on the other hand you have to get some income so that you can pay for the hospital. I hope your mom will soon recover.
2 people like this
• Hong Kong
22 Jul 08
I am deeply impressed by your actions. We only have one lovely mother. She is always more important for us than daily jobs. If I were you, I would choose to do the same thing. Bless you and your mother!
2 people like this
• China
22 Jul 08
I will do the same Mother is the only one Job can find again when you are losting it
2 people like this
@nasohail3 (356)
• India
22 Jul 08
hey friend you are obsolutely correct and no one can say you u have done wrong you are the lucky girl to help with your parents and i think every body do the same thing what you did and ill pray for got gave healt to your mother your best friend
@walkthetalk (1308)
• United States
22 Jul 08
Where I live there is an act called FMLA, Family Medical Leave Act. I'm not sure it its just for my state or for all. But you could check. I used it to take care of my father for 12 weeks. I also used it to take care of my daughter, after she had surgery, for 3 weeks. I believe your aloud 12 wees a year. All companies may not support it though. It would be worth checking on. maybe you could get your job back.
2 people like this
@SheliaLee (2738)
• United States
21 Jul 08
You did the right thing hon, don't let anyone tell you different. I would have done the same thing also. I'm very blessed to get to work out of my home so if my mother should have a problem I can bring her here with me and take care of her while doing my work also. She worries about that very thing because I am her only child. She says she doesn't ever want to impose on me. I told her that you don't impose on your child, if you can't depend on your child/children who can you depend on?
@mnflower (1306)
• United States
21 Jul 08
They were talking about a nursing home for theraphy and I told them straight out no that I would be at her we have done.My mother would be there for me in the same situation and as others said that is mom and she is number one...I could not handle her not being in this world at this time of my life.
@beeeckie (803)
• United States
21 Jul 08
I think it's a very brave and selfless thing you've done. Just make sure you have mental support behind *you* during this tough time. I hope she gets better.
1 person likes this
@mnflower (1306)
• United States
21 Jul 08
My loving man has been behind me all the way making sure he comes and see's me on the weekends and gets me away for a couple hours..He thinks also that what I did is the only right thing to do and that he will do whatever he needs to do.
• United States
22 Jul 08
Well, did you ask to take time off from work due to a family emergency first? My mother did that when grandma was having the same situation happening, and kept her job but was able to be there for grandma anyway. But that aside, I don't think it's a bad thing; as long as your family can still support itself while you care for your mother, I think it's fine. I hope that your mother recovers quickly.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Jul 08
Wow!! You are truly a blessing. I would have done the same thing. Its something about a mother that i child, especially a woman feels obligated to do. A mother is always there...well a true dear mother. And like me you're mother probably has been there for you all your life and helped you through lots of ups and downs along the way. She took care of you when you were down and sick, so now that you are an adult, its time to return the favor. I know a lot of people would say thats a huge step to just go and quit your job like that. But a kind hearted person knows better. You can always get a job, there are millions and millions out there. It may not be the one that you are use to or would prefer to have but its a job. But you always have to remember, you only are blessed with 1 mother. And thats in a lifetime. A mother is someone that can never be replaced no matter how hard you try to do it. Mnflower keep being the daughter you are being to your mother. It shows that you love her and you care about her. By all means, you did nothing wrong at all. You took a stand and you Prevailed. I give you props for being that kind of daughter to your mother. You are truly one of a kind. God Bless!
1 person likes this
@bamakelly (5194)
• United States
22 Jul 08
I do commend all of your efforts. Of course what you are doing is a wonderful gesture. Any mother would be proud of you. I can only hope that I teach my son values in life that would make him feel like he would need to care for me, the woman who brought him into this world and loved him always. You quit your job but it wasn't in vein. Do you feel good about what you are doing? That's all that matters. Your mother has raised you correctly. And good luck!
1 person likes this
@qhwater (395)
• China
22 Jul 08
sorry to know that, mnflower. but i do think you did right and most people will do the same way as you if they were in the same case. mom is the most important thing in this stage, right? after your mom is fine, you could find a job, maybe a better one. so, take good care of your mom, and wish she will recover soon.
1 person likes this
@spalladino (17929)
• United States
21 Jul 08
I think that you're a very devoted daughter and that you shouldn't second guess your decision. Jobs will come and jobs will go but you only have one mother and I'm sure that having you by her side meant a lot to her. I hope she continues her recovery with no problems and, as another poster already suggested, make sure that you take care of *you*, too!
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Jul 08
I would of done the exact same thing, and for any member of my immediate family. If i had to choose between a job or my family, my family always comes first.
1 person likes this
@Amber4106 (541)
• United States
21 Jul 08
You did the right thing. There's nothing in life more important than family, especially those that gave life to you. My grandma had a brain aneurysm two months before I was to start college. I never thought twice. I stayed in the hospital with her for a month and a half, then went home with her to continue to care for her. There are so many things that we can always do at another time. Being with our loved ones could end at anytime, and I would sacrifice any job to spend that precious time with my loved ones.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Jul 08
I don't know where you're from, but where I live, you can take an extended family leave to take care of family members in times like this. You wouldn't necessarily get paid, but you wouldn't totally lose your job either. Then, if you think that this is going to be a long term commitment, you can quit your job totally. This is a hard thing, I would have done what you did and stay with my mom and take care of you. Also, you mentioned that you are the only girl in the family, does that mean that you have brothers? In my ancestral culture, it's the sons that take care of the parents. If you have brothers, can they help in some way?
• United States
22 Jul 08
Oops, I meant to say "take care of my mom and take care of her", not "take care of you."
@mnflower (1306)
• United States
22 Jul 08
I do have 3 brothers but none of them were able to take care of her.One out of state and one family with 5 kids to take care and of and of course young brother that is spoiled wrotten and has gotten not so responsibile and I wanted to make sure that if my mother or father needed anything I wanted to make sure I was there for sure and not worry about them having to call someone else for help.
• United States
16 Aug 09
I read what everyone had to say and I agree with them. You did the right thing. If I didn't have any sick leave left, I would have taken leave without pay if you had that benefit. I have a very good job with great benefits. My mother just turned 80 last month, and was already showing signs of really slowing down when she was here with us in late April '09. "I'm not like I used to be (meaning not as strong)." I have very big shoes to fill, as I'm 25 yrs younger, and am already slowing down. She doesn't take meds except for aspirin. And vitamins when I'm around her. We lost our youngest last Oct and his anniversary is coming up so I worry about her. To go home to visit her costs $1000 which is hefty. I could possibly save on my sick leave until early Oct, take leave and extend it while I'm out there. And give her a good month to care for her to let her know I care. They are so dear.