Do you know couples that just don't belong together?

@dfollin (12510)
United States
July 22, 2008 10:37pm CST
Iam in my 40's and I have know several couples that have gone out when I was younger that I just knew that they were going to break up.They just did not seem right together and didn't get along.I even had some friends that good married and divorced in a year or two.But,now inpaticular I have a friend that is married with kids and I see that her husband is not very nice to her.They are christians and I think that she is staying with him because of that and her kids as well as he possibly makes her feel like she is nothing without him.Do you know people like this?What do you do? Do you say anything?
7 people like this
20 responses
@lyzabelle (1668)
• Philippines
23 Jul 08
[b]I have. My brother and his wife. They were the complete opposite in so many things. Before they got married i predicted that they wouldn't last a year but I'm wrong. Their marriage is almost four years now.[/b]
@dfollin (12510)
• United States
23 Jul 08
Yeah,but that doesn't mean that they are happy.
@webeishere (36353)
• United States
23 Jul 08
Oh yes. My daughter and her first husband. When she first asked me about my feelings when she announced they were getting married I simply said it was her life. She knew I did not like the man at all. When I walked her down the aisle and then went beside him I wispered in his ear. "You mess her life up you will pay." He never liked me either. They are now divorced and she has since remarried to a wonderful, loving, and caring man now. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32328)
• United States
23 Jul 08
I'm glad your daughter found a better man. I know alot of people go through this. I am on my first marriage but I also have a daughter from a past relationship. I am so glad that he was a jerk from the start, and left me pregnant with her, and that I did not marry him and have to spend the rest of my life with him. He used me and has nothing to do with our daughter for almost 17 years now. My husband is a good dad to her and a great husband to me. Today is our 13th anniversary. I am so glad that God gave me a good man after all of the misery of past relationships.
• United States
23 Jul 08
Yes, I do! I have met several couples like that. I have mentioned it in conversion, usually as a joke to get a feel of how they would react. I know a couple that before they were dating, he used to laugh at her, and she used to laugh at him! It was shocking when they got together. But ultimatly, it's there decission and there is nothing we can really do about it!
1 person likes this
@dfollin (12510)
• United States
23 Jul 08
I know it's a shame thou that we can't do anything about it.It makes me sad that she is a friend and I cannot do anything to help her.
@anawar (2406)
• United States
23 Jul 08
I understand your strong desire to help. But I know the decision can only come from within. People warned me not to marry my first husband, but I did, and carried the consequences of it for fifteen years. We were married in the Catholic church and I was ashamed to get divorced. He gave me no choice. My daughter is married to a man who is 23 years older than she is. She's a beautiful girl who just had an underwater photo shoot for a popular resort's website. It's so odd to see my amazing daughter on the internet. I think she deserves so much more in a husband. I don't like her husband and none of out family likes him. We know he treats her badly and controls how much she can speak to us. It's very frustrating. No matter to her. She accepts the relationship and bears the consequences. The times we try to help her if she calls us upset, it drives her back, deeper into the relationship. It's like she wants help, but she won't take it. My mom told me never to get between a married couple because only they understand the dynamics of the relationship. I think she is right.
1 person likes this
@heart4u (409)
• Philippines
23 Jul 08
loving someone who cannot be yours
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Jul 08
ohh yes i do like i know this one guy who is like a playa type of guy thats tough.and the girl he go with is kinda like manly like a real real tom boy thats not tough though and i jusst dont see how there together but what ever i only wish them the best of luck.
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32328)
• United States
23 Jul 08
I know alot of people like this. I can see that they are not good for one another and I know they stay together for the kids sake. My husband did this also when in his first marriage. He tried to make it work and do the right thing for the kids but his wife ended up cheating on him and marrying another man. My husbands kids do not even give him the time of day now because they do not like me and their mother blames my husband for everything.
@stephcjh (32328)
• United States
23 Jul 08
I have tried to make it work with my husband and his kids but his kids want no part of it. They are all grown up, and married now and have kids also. I just stay out of it now. It is best to let them do something for themselves. We cannot make their decisions for them and they get mad when you say something.
• United States
24 Jul 08
kind of.one couple they're so distrustful of everything and everyone,it's only a matter of time before they turn on each other.it's pretty much an eventuality.
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
24 Jul 08
Oh yes there is a lot of people who do not belong together..I am not really sure i go with my mate..My children seem to think that i don't.,they say that they cannot feature me being with someone like him..We don't fight and fuss though,we get along we just do not have anything in common...This is a second marrige though and i am just not interested in getting out there anymore....If this friend you are talking about,if her husband is not nioce to her,she may be the christian but hes not,if he was he would be nice to her and not treat her bad...I am sure your friend is just there for the kids,after they grow up she will leave him...A lot of women stay with a man because of children,or he works and brings in the money...I know a lot of people like this but i have no idea why they stay..Sometimes people just get stuck in marriage and after a while it becomes a habit.It is hard to break up ,even a unhappy home...Being familiar means a lot sometimes...Habit is another reason...I am sure there are many many people out there that is married but not totally happy,they just exisiting.................
• Canada
24 Jul 08
Dfollin do you know couples that seem happily married; they have kids and everything seems fine but they look so wrong for each other? I have met a few couples that look so mismatched and I wonder if they married the wrong person. Last year I met a couple through my husbands work. We met for dinner and there was such a difference in this couple it just made me wonder are these two really ment for each other or is it just me that thinks they aren't because of how they look together. I mean really she looked like she belonged on a Texas Ranch and he looked like a city slicker. I guess what I wonder is; is she really happy doing what she is doing and does either one of them feel unhappy because their life isn't has they would like it to be? Will they divorce when the kids are grown up? Maybe they are truly satisfied and happy. I don't know just sometimes you mean people and the picture doesn't look right. Have you had that experience with couples?
@loujac3 (1188)
• United States
24 Jul 08
As sad as it sounds, it is best to leave the decision to the people involved. I was in a relationship for almost 24 years and we were not compatible. I stayed in the relationship since I felt that it was my duty and later because of the children. Finally I had to get out. At the end of the relationship, a mutual acquaintance felt it her duty to butt in and she caused more problems and grief. Best to let the couple work it out on their own.
@Hatley (164743)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Jul 08
hi dfollin yes I know several couples like that, one couple the man talks all the time non stop andits all just bragging, while his wife is a sweet dear person who would not hurt a flea. I see her cringe everytime he opens his mouth.living with thaat all the time would drive anyone bananas. Last time i saw her she was filing for divorce.another couple I knew the woman flirts unmercifically and the husband is really depressed. I am sure they wont last long either.I did tell him that if I was him, I would get a divorce.
@kerriannc (4281)
• Jamaica
23 Jul 08
Some couples are like this. There are circumstances that prevent them from parting and sometimes we on the outside will assume. I am one of that couple that does not belong. There were person who has advised me against it and I didn't listen. Now I am stuck. Yes I would like to left and move on but circumstances has leave me more miserable and annoying then anything. There will be concern friends who will speak and counsell us (couples like me) and still we are still there. One will ask is it love or lack of self esteem. We who are in the situation has to be brave and think about what is best. Dfollin you can talk with her but it is up to her what she really want. Does she think she can make it on her own with the kids. Will the church/family back her, is her salary enough to finance her and her kids. Yes it is a difficult situation but she need to think about it before making choices that can affect the outcome. Maybe she is saving and does not have the amount that will see her through. As I said it is difficult. I would advise you more to be a friend to her at this time. This is what she would want more than anything. Kerry
@tandy41 (16)
• United States
23 Jul 08
I would say Bye Bye! Life's too short to be with someone who makes you feel less a person. Maybe he just needs a wake up call. A lot of times it takes leaving for them to realize what they've lost. But if not then she's wasting her life. I don't believe it is ever the right decision to stay for the children. There being raised in a hostile enviroment, with bad role models of how a true marriage/love should be, and that is worse than separating, I think. Most of the couples I've known for years are the one's that I thought would never make it and the one's I thought would, didn't. So, you never can tell I guess. Hope you'll be a good friend and reach out to her, lift her up, be her sister.Best wishes.
@xsquid (111)
• Indonesia
23 Jul 08
yes of course there are couples like that, especially common in young couples. If I see my friend and feels like they are not meant for each other, I'll tell my friend about it before they got married coz if they do get marry and divorce after that I'll feel I have done wrong by not telling him/her my opinion. You know sometimes people in love just cannot see things clearly, and need other people to knock their head once a while.
@shana123 (2096)
• India
23 Jul 08
oh well yes i have seen many couples living together just for the sake of their kids even from my childhood. Many are womens who are uneducated ( in my state) doesnt have guts and strength to run their family alone without their husbands are still depending on their husbands for shelter and protection and just initial for their kids.Poor ladies ( as i have seen only ladies who suffer more than gents ) they bear every torture of their hubbies.Well even people who are fell in love and got married sometimes their lives also get a mess after their marriage, i really don't know where the love which is seen before the marriage vanishes after marriage !!!
23 Jul 08
Yes I did know a couple like that, but thank god, after 10 years she saw the light! He walked all over her, did exactly what he liked and left her in tears most weekends! If she wanted to do anything it was a totally different matter! As I say, I watched this happen for 10 years... pleaded with her at times to leave, but she always believed they were happy! Untill, 12 months ago and eveything hit her like a tonne of bricks! She finally realised what she was putting up with and decided that actually she was worth more than that! So they split up and went there seperate ways. She has now met the most wonderful guy and it has now really made her realise what she had put up with. She has now vowed to never put up with that kind of crap off anyone ever again! So sometimes there is a happy ending!!
@reckon21 (3487)
• Philippines
23 Jul 08
[i]Yeah,I know many couples who did not stay long in their life as a married. They only stay together because of their children. There are many reasons why it happens to many couples. Number one reason is one of them have relationship with other,no more love between them. My neighbor just broke up their marriage because of adultery poor little children doesn't know whats happening to their parents.[/i]
@ZephyrSun (7385)
• United States
23 Jul 08
That's really sad when people stay just for the kids and whatnot. I don't know anyone like that really, my husband's sister is pretty awful to her husband. He is like her whipping boy. I cannot believe how he waits on her. If you really want to say something to your friend you could always quote the vows that are exchanged during the wedding, the part about love and honor. I guess it would depend on how good of a friend she was and how much you think it would change her mind or cause a rif between the two of you.
@ANTIQUELADY (36489)
• United States
23 Jul 08
i think there are more couples that are not happy than is. i onder why some of them stay together. the children are not better off if they are having to live in a house of friction neither are the people. life is too short to live in a marriage that is not happy