finding a job..is it our responsibility?

@vanities (11351)
Davao, Philippines
September 5, 2008 7:59pm CST
i would like to ask or solicit your opinion my dear friends here if up to what extent do you help or give support to your grown up children in terms of finding work for them or any related situations you can give as example... in my case i had already narrated the story of my son how dependent he was and so gullible in his studies and until the day he graduated from college (it took nine years for him to finish college..that was on and off)and now its my husband's help that he is able to start and work now from an IT company...as parents i think our responsibility really never end as long as our children need our help and guidance regardless of age..
4 people like this
15 responses
@android (895)
6 Sep 08
It's good to be able to support your children no matter what age they are. I am 30 years old now and have just gone through probably the most difficult part of my life, I went into Post-Traumatic stress and started having nightmares and flashbacks. I felt completely derealized and nothing around me seemed real any more, it was like it was all a dream. But my parents really helped me out, they made me eat every day, supported me by finding me accommodation, getting my driving license back, giving me work and wages and really helping me through it. I am now past the worst of it and feel like myself again. If it wasn't for my parents then I would probably be out of work with no identification and possibly even in a mental hospital, so I really thank them for that. I have three children myself and my only real ambition at the moment is to build a secure future for them so they hopefully don't take some of the paths that I did with my life, no matter how old they are.
@vanities (11351)
• Davao, Philippines
6 Sep 08
im a parent and our responsibility really never end as long as our children need it..and im glad that your parent do their thing and guide you and hope that you also in return to your own children ..thanks for sharing your experiences..i highly appreciated it my friend and be well..
@jillhill (37399)
• United States
6 Sep 08
Once you decide to be a parent it's a life long responsibility. My son is thirty and just finishing college....so your son is not alone. If my kids need anything....emotional or other support I am here for them!
1 person likes this
@vanities (11351)
• Davao, Philippines
11 Sep 08
its true jill and i agree with you on that 100%..
@biggerb (2030)
• India
6 Sep 08
I am a parent of a grown up son.My son just finished his post-graduation.While doing his PG he had done some part time jobs that came up from college.Now he wanted to diversify and try out a totally different career which would pay him well.Both my husband and myself fully supported him.Some problems cropped up and we were not able to raise the kind of money needed.Now he is attending interviews and is on the look out for a suitable job.We as parents are doing everything we can to help him out with the contacts we have.Choosing the right job will be up to him as he has to like what he is going to be doing.As parents I don't think our responsibility ever ends we need to there for our children when they need us.I am just hoping and praying fervently that something really nice comes up and my son gets settled soon.
@vanities (11351)
• Davao, Philippines
11 Sep 08
very well said and very true as well...in my case its my hubby actually(its a shame i guess)who help finding my son a job..that is after so many failures or i mean many job hunting my son did but no results that my husband help him(he ask his friend one of the owner and at the same time manages the company as well to help his son with the job)..
• Philippines
6 Sep 08
It is our responsibility. Let me share my reasons: 1. Having a job will help ourselves... 2. Having a job will help our family... 3. Having a job will help our country as well to reduce the unemployment rate. This is very important especially when you are a college graduate.. We have to maximize our capability.
1 person likes this
@vanities (11351)
• Davao, Philippines
11 Sep 08
very well said my friend..
• United States
6 Sep 08
My mother is helping me at the moment through my surgery, but I am doing my very best to help her out and to earn some extra cash. I am still in college, but luckily I am on financial aid and I am receiving help while I am in school. My mother does not have to worry much.
1 person likes this
@vanities (11351)
• Davao, Philippines
11 Sep 08
that is good for your mom for having you as her child..keep it up!!
@snowy22315 (38035)
• United States
6 Sep 08
i think you can help encourage them and do what you can to support them. My 20 year old finally got a job after being unemployed for nine months. i am very happy. He has a history of getting jobs and then quitting them anytime form 2 days to 6 months though, so we will see how this one goes.
1 person likes this
@vanities (11351)
• Davao, Philippines
9 Sep 08
well mine was different he likes to work and not a quitter but i guess work is so elusive ..but fortunately he had found one and going to start on monday..and im so happy for him..
• Philippines
6 Sep 08
Parenting is really a full load responsibility. The ties of the family are there and we are weary what the children are going to be in the future. My mother always told me that seeing me under the comfy life would be her best achievement. In your case, you are just being responsible enough looking at the welfare of your child, to get and prepare him/her to a convenient life. It's an agony also in your part if you see your child in a not suitable life. Parents knows best for their children.
@vanities (11351)
• Davao, Philippines
9 Sep 08
yeah .. i guess so and very well said..
@Erin88 (348)
• United States
6 Sep 08
I don't think parents owe it to their children to find them a job, but I do think it is good to provide emotional support while they search for work. I never expected my parents to find me a job. Once I became an adult, it was my responsibility to learn to provide for myself. That started with me finding a job. If they kept doing things for me, I don't know that I would be able to do much on my own today.
1 person likes this
@vanities (11351)
• Davao, Philippines
6 Sep 08
and i admire you for that!!
@neildc (17257)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
6 Sep 08
That is right vanities, our support to our children never stops as long as they need it. It will only be with the child to actually defies themselves from seeking help and stand on their own feet. I know some people here that though married still goes back home to their parents and ask help. When this happen, we cannot resist, their our children. We give help regardless of their age and status in life, but I guess our responsibility stops when they don't come for help. (neildc @ red/89/1789)
@vanities (11351)
• Davao, Philippines
9 Sep 08
yeah your right on that note..
@gr8life (6253)
• Malaysia
8 Sep 08
Hello vanities, I think you are right. As a parent, we need to be there for them whenever they need us. I know that we can't protect them forever and they need to be independent too. I had a problem before and when you look at my age, I am supposed to be able to solve my problem on my own. But, I don't know why and I really need my mother that time. In fact I am not supposed to bother her and make her worry about me any longer. But, she came and helped me.
@williamjisir (22909)
• China
7 Sep 08
Hello vanities. I think that as parents we always take everything concerned with our kids as our responsibilities. It is the same with my parents during the course of my growing up till I got a job assigned by our government after graduation from college. It seems that most parents do so. And it is also the same with my parents-in-law who take good of their kids, even if they are all grown-ups. Of course, I am also taken good care of as their son-in-law. So traditionally, it is considered to be parents' responsibilities. I also think so and am doing so and will do so to my teen son. By the way, I am glad that your son got his IT job in a company. Cheers to you!
@DCMerkle (1281)
• United States
6 Sep 08
I believe also that our duties never end as parents, but the way we go about may change as they get older. When both my children were looking for their first jobs, I helped them look thru the classified. I took them to the interviews and helped them fill out the apps if they brought it home. Both of them are now in their twenty's and I still look thru the classified if one of them are looking for a job, but that's to just let them know what I found that they might be interested in. They now keep up on updating their own resume's, fill out the apps on their own and get themselves to the interview. My daughter is currently changing what she was going to school for, pharmacy tech. She has decided to go for medical assistant because her current class schedule for for the pharmacology was $843 a class. She knew that she couldn't afford that right now, but she still wanted to stay in the medical field. That she was able to make those decisions on her own, not wasting what she had already learned, showed me that I had taught her to balance things out. Those are just many of the things that we as parents know to help them thru guidance and when we see that they can do it on their own, then we know that all the teaching, lectures and examples that we have set have paid off. DCMerkle
@magna86 (1787)
• India
6 Sep 08
ofcourse yes!! it is the duty of the parents to bring them .. but only upto a particular age!! and after that the children should learn to independent and for that the children should be self employed!! which would take care their expenses and even the other who are dependent on them!!
@tammytwo (4305)
• United States
6 Sep 08
Yes I too believe that a parent's responsibility to their children never really ends. My oldest son is turning 18 today and I know there will be times in his life that he just needs a shoulder to lean on even as he gets older and I am sure we will be that shoulder for him.
• United Arab Emirates
6 Sep 08
For me as parents,our responsibility has no boundary to our childrens.Our support and advise must be there always.My son is a newly grad.He had difficulties in finding a job because he have'nt experience yet.Me and my wife has a role to advise him not to lose his hope.Me and my wife also called our friends and relatives who knows a company hiring workers.Because of our patience and encouragement for him not to surrender,luckily he got and interview and he was hired.