Friends

United States
October 13, 2008 7:00pm CST
What are the qualities you look for in a friend? I look for people who are mature, dont start drama. People that enjoy some of the same things I do, but yet, have their own interests also. And, my friends have to be there for me when I need them, and I will be there for them as well. And, now that I am a mother, I like to find friends that also have children, because they are kind of on the same page as I am when it comes to not being able to just jump and go and the drop of a dime. What do YOU look for?
1 person likes this
13 responses
14 Oct 08
i agree with that but sometimes the drama comes to u if u dont them then that gets friends fighting cuz they think u have been spreading it. So the true friends will always be there if u need them and the ones that arent there is something wrong.
1 person likes this
@drannhh (15240)
• United States
14 Oct 08
I don't like drama, either, or mooches, or whining, needy people. I look for cheerful, educated, and yes, mature people who are busy enough to have their own lives. I like to socialize once in a while, but not constantly. Also, since we don't have children or pets, we prefer associating with others who also do not. We had enough exposure to other people's kids during the 3 1/2 decades that we were their teachers.
@mgeise (51)
• United States
14 Oct 08
I feel the same way. Needy people are definitely a no for me. I have too much going on in my life to have friends who constantly want to talk or hang out or whatever. Smart people who I can talk to about things I'm interested in or passionate about is definitely a must. Also, humor is a necessity. They still need to know when to stop and be serious, though.
1 person likes this
@drannhh (15240)
• United States
14 Oct 08
Welcome to myLot mgeise, as obviously you are going to fit right in here! Are you at SUNY?
@n30wing (4771)
• Philippines
14 Oct 08
I am looking for a friend who can like me for what I am. Not the materialistic but friends who are practical with life. Who are sensible and not being pretentious but being themselves. Someone who could make life change or even push me to the wall if I really need to. Someone who can be guiding me to the right path. Have a nice morning! God bless!
@mgeise (51)
• United States
14 Oct 08
Great post. Acceptance is something that is necessary in any friendship. They need to accept your qualities, your downsides, and your quirks and just trust and care about you. This is something that most people don't think about when making friendships, but it is a definite need in any amicable relationship.
@rmuxagirl (7562)
• United States
7 Nov 08
My friends are someone I can relate to and talk to about different things. We understand each other and that we are busy with our own lives. My best friend and I don't get to talk all the time, but we still consider each other sisters because we are so close and understand each other. My friends are there for me no matter what is happening.
7 Nov 08
i agree with them qualities but i would add a friend will b e their to help u and never bring u down and instead of making fun of someone be more of a friend and listen to what they might have to say to u as well. Cuz one day u may be in the same boat they are and it wont be so funny. Dont try to be better then they are. Just try and and be there when they stumble everyone does. Just be a friend and help people who need it and are willing to try even if u dont think they are
@carolbee (16241)
• United States
15 Oct 08
I can certainly relate to making friends with other mothers. Lots in common and can share funny stories, share babysitting and just be there for a mom who is having a bad day. I look for several qualities in a friend. Preferably someone close to my age because we can relate to many of the same life experiences. Someone who has values and morals. Someone who is kind and thoughtful. All too often I have made friends with someone who I thought was a friend who turned out to be anything but a friend when it comes to trust. Gossip is not something I like and don't participate in that part of a friendship. Not always the case when it comes to choosing friends as I have found even moreso as I age.
@jillmalitz (5132)
• United States
15 Oct 08
I'm a lot like you. Similar interests are important as is maturity. Being able to listen and discuss things without carping.I would not mind if my friends disagreed with me on different things but they must always remember that we all have opinions. Also a good sense of humor is very important.
@missbdoll (1168)
• Australia
15 Oct 08
I thinl loyalty is one of the main things I look for, I seem to think about this more over the last few years as I've been let down pretty bad by some of the people I considered "good freinds". I have to be able to realy trust someone to be freinds.Also it cann't just be one sided, like when you feel you put in all the effort.
• United States
14 Oct 08
I completely agree with what you say and look for in a friend. Except for the children part, I don't have any children yet, but I don't mind being friends with someone who has children. I have a couple of friends of mine who do have children. But I don't like to be a part of drama, so friends who like to bring drama, they can bring it somewhere else. I also like to have friends that are alike in me some areas and are different in other areas. I like to have a diversity of friends. Anyone is welcome in my circle of friends just as long as they don't bring drama with them.
@mgeise (51)
• United States
14 Oct 08
I look for people that have common interests, while being unique in their own ways. I like to learn new things and experience new things with friends, so I look for a wide variety of people to be acquainted with in everyday life. Loyalty, honesty, and friendliness are also things I look for in a potential friend.
@underdogtoo (9599)
• Philippines
14 Oct 08
I used to think that friends have to be there for you. I have been sadly disillusioned and I now expect nothing from a friend. I also will not go out on a limb for my so-called friends. Before this, I would walk through fire for a friend.
14 Oct 08
someone who actually understands the problem their friend is facing and try to help them is one. Or find someone who doesnt bring drama and likes to spread it and yes tiffany im not spreading it just comes to me and i get accused of spreading even though i dont. I need a friend that will be there and not criticize me for mistakes i make but just help me thru it even though i stumble. Im not perfect thats for sure. I want someone that wont complain about everything i do wrong thats it.I want someone that actually wants to be with me, thats all. and can be trusted period............
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
14 Oct 08
At my age most of my friends are mature! In both ways. I like someone who shares my interests so we have things to do together. I like it when they have good values. I don't like it in people when they use you or use time with you to do other things I don't approve of. My best friend is like a sister to me. We have a blast together even though we live so far apart. But we email several times a day and Im once in a while. I'm going for a visit this next weekend! I can't wait!