Do your parents aprove of your life?

@BriNbai (912)
United States
October 16, 2008 3:08pm CST
I know its a weird question but I was wondering because I have noticed that no matter what decision I make in my life my dad will always think I can do better and my mom will always be happy, as long im not hurting someone else or myself. Its completely the oposite with my sister though, she has made a lot of stupid decision and has i guess disapointed my mom and dad alot. But whenever something good happens for her my dad gets really happy and congratulates her, and mom is happy either way. Lets say we both get promoted, dad wil congratulate her and make a big deal. but as for me he will say good job and tell me to start working on my next promotion.LOL I know they aprove of me but sometimes I wish I would have messed up a little so that they expect less from me and are hhappy with small accomplishments as they are with my sister LOL.. DO you think your parents aprove of your life? How do they act when you achieve something? Are you compared to your siblings like I am? THANKS ALL!
4 people like this
22 responses
16 Oct 08
I live my life to suit me not my parents or anyone else. They may compare me to my other siblings I can't say for sure lol. I simply don't care. I need to be happy so I live my life for my son, daughter and husband.
2 people like this
@BriNbai (912)
• United States
16 Oct 08
Hi Pinkpassion, I wish I didnt care LOL..no seriuosly sometimes it bothers me when I am compared to others but youre right I should just think of what makes me happy :] thanks for your response!
@ShellyB (5243)
• United States
16 Oct 08
Right now I do not have my parents with me, I never knew my Father and I lost my mom to cancer. I will take it as a compliment that your dad knows you have a lot of pontencial in you and that he is doing the best he can to tell you do not settle for this, go higher and higher. As for your sister, her needs are to stay out of trouble so your dad encourages that. I am glad that you are blessed to have both parents in your life, encouraging in the best way they can.
1 person likes this
@BriNbai (912)
• United States
16 Oct 08
Hi shelly, thanks for responding!Also Im sorry to hear about your mother, I do apriciate that I have them in my life , I try to count my blessing everyday. I know my parents just try to encourage me and I should stop complaining!lol thank you so much for responding!
@ShellyB (5243)
• United States
17 Oct 08
I do not want to take away your right to complaint lol And thanks for your kind words, I lost my mom when I was 35 and I miss her a whole lot. There are too many things she is missing in life.
@jammyt (2822)
• Philippines
16 Oct 08
Generally, my parents have been supportive in everything I do. They never pushed me to bean honor student. When I was in elementary having a difficult time with my studies, they supported me. Of course, they got mad if I got a failing mark but they helped me get through it. When I excelled and reached the Dean's List, I knew they were happy. In all that I have decided on, they were generally happy. They also approve of my husband because he is a lawyer, and somehow can give me a good life. My sister has a different story,they don't really approve of her partner because they know she could've gotten someone better. But then he is still the father of their child, my parents treat him like a son. They support my sister also all the way, helping her with some finances when it comes to my niece.
1 person likes this
@BriNbai (912)
• United States
16 Oct 08
Hi Jammy, I am so glad to hear that you had very supportive parents. I just need to count my blessings!Thanks for responding!
@Hatley (164347)
• Garden Grove, California
16 Oct 08
brinbai my dad was never completey satisfied with anything I did but as an a dult I realized that I was okay even if he never was completely satisfied, that was his problem not mine. my mom God Bless her was always happy for me. It took my husband to make me realize I didnt need his final approval, my own and my husbands was just right. thattook a load off my shoulders and freed me of animosity and hatred. so much better all around.
1 person likes this
@BriNbai (912)
• United States
16 Oct 08
Hi Hatley, thanks for responding ! I knowthat I shouldnt care so much of what others think. Its just hard having to hear my sister being complimented for an B when I get all A's. LOL yeah thanks for responding!
@lynnemg (4538)
• United States
16 Oct 08
When I was a kid, I always felt that no matter what I did, my parents would disapprove. If I got a "B" on my report card, they would tell me I should have gotten an "A", etc. etc. Now, as an adult, my parents are much more supportive of me and MOST of my choices. If I talk to my parents about a new idea or goal, they tell me to go for it, they know i can do it. Although I grew up feeling inadequate, I now realize that my parents were supporting my future and helping me more than even they realize by constantly making me strive to be better. I think my brothers and I compare ourselves to each other more than my parents do. For a very long time, I felt like my parents thought my older brother was better than me, I also thought that he felt that way. A couple of years ago, my brother and I had a long talk and in that conversation, he told me that he has always looked up to me. That was a shocker.
1 person likes this
@BriNbai (912)
• United States
16 Oct 08
LOL..this is exactly how im feeling right this second!!..If I got an A they would want an A+.. But Im starting to realize its just their way of encouraging me and pushing me to do better.! thanks so much for responding!
@quinnkl (1667)
• United States
16 Oct 08
I am certain my mother does not approve of me or how I live my life at all. My dad seems to have more confidence in me, but he knows I can take care of myself, and I have proven that. My mother looks at my difference in lifestyle than hers and the rest of my family (single mother, self-employed, etc) and just doesn't get it. I understand what you mean when you think about the ones who "mess up" getting all the attention and accolades when something goes wrong or right for them, and those of us not even getting a mention. At least your dad says good job. I don't think I have ever heard that from either parent. I have gotten so I don't worry about what anyone thinks of me at this point in my life and it makes everything less stressful. Hard to do, but true!
1 person likes this
@BriNbai (912)
• United States
16 Oct 08
Yeah it sucks that we dont get a mention when something goes right or wrong for us But I think it just proves that we dont need anyone else to go above and beyond what were expected to do. :] well thanks for responding I feel better :]
@Shar1979 (2723)
• United States
16 Oct 08
yeah sometimes they approve of my life but there are things that i do that they dont approve which doesnt bother me at all. i am the one who should handle my life no matter how others would see or approve it.
1 person likes this
@BriNbai (912)
• United States
16 Oct 08
Hi shar, I do see what youre saying. I should be more in tune to my needs and worry about myself other than aproval. Thanks for responding!!
@twoey68 (13651)
• United States
18 Oct 08
I think my Mom does...she's happy that I'm married and stable and she and Hubby get along pretty good. As for my Dad, I really don't know. He and I don't talk alot and so I don't know what he thinks of my life. He and my Stepmom met my Hubby once for about 4 seconds...long enough to say hi. [b]~~IN SEARCH OF PEACE WITHIN~~ **AGAINST THE STORMS, I WILL STAND STRONG** [/b]
@SketcherD (1114)
• Canada
17 Oct 08
I know my Mom approves of my life she tells me all the time she is proud of me. I am 43 years old. But it sure is nice when you hear your Mom tell you she is proud of you. I make sure to tell my son and daughter that I am proud of their accomplishments.
• India
17 Oct 08
They blindly don't approve,they analyse the pros and cons and give me suggestions,They'll be the happiest on earth when I achieve something. They do compare,I won't say a NO,but it's just been healthy,they'll see to that I'm not hurt. Cheers
@austere (2814)
• Philippines
17 Oct 08
i think so!!hehe i am but a good daughter to them!haha i am not perfect but the things that i do with my life, i make sure, makes them happy or pleasing to them. i graduated college on time, i wa agood student when i was studying. i am working and earning a good money. i have a good boyfriend who also helps me to become a better person.. somehow everything is in it's place.. everything seems smooth and happy..
@ersmommy1 (12598)
• United States
17 Oct 08
My mother is very happy with my life. I have a better marriage than she ever did. She doesn't question my choices. She talks of my life with a smile. I don't really care if my father approves or not.
@3cardmonte (5098)
17 Oct 08
No,I work for myself and my Dad does not approve of that and I am a lesbian and my Mum does not approve of that. I know how you feel,my older brother has disappointed everyone and been really horrible but they treat him like a king.
@Munchkin547 (2778)
17 Oct 08
I don't think that my parents really treat me and my brother differently they are equally proud when we achieve things. although i don't think they approve completely of the way that i live. For example i have 2 tattoes and they are adamant that this was a mistake on my part, they just aren't willing to accept that they might just have a different opinion to me and that i am not in the wrong, i just don't think the same as them!! hehe I know my parents, especially my dad is perhaps a bit disappointed in me because when i was growing up i was always the clever one out of me and my brother and they expected me to go on to be a doctor or a lawyer but i didn't want to do that! I am training to be a nurse at the moment, which i think is an achievement, but i know they would much rather i was in medical school or something. I have tried to explain them that i'd rather enjoy my work than earn lots of money or have a job with prestige but i suppose it must be hard to accept when you have had hopes and dreams for your child that havent' come true! xxx
• China
17 Oct 08
I understand you very well for I live in a family has three children. I am the oldest and I have a brother and sister. The discussion you have posted attacted me a lot for I think that perhaps my brother also has the same feelings with you. I am the oldes one among the children in my family and I am also the best one because I always get the best scores when I was at school and I always help my parents to do some housework. My brother, however, does not study as well as me and always makes my parents angry. In spite of my parents criticize my brother some thime, I do believe they loves him as they do to me and my sister. I think you should not doubt the love of your parents give to you. Perhaps they have higher expection on you. The real problem is yourself. It will be better if you overcome yourself.
@bhanusb (5709)
• India
17 Oct 08
Your dad and mom have confidence on you.You stblished this confidece by your acihevement.Your dad or mom love your sister.Because she is younger.They pardon her mistakes out of affection.For her good doing naturally your parents feel happy.You also love your sister and you also pardon her stupidity. My parents approved my life. But they are no more.
@anonymili (3138)
17 Oct 08
I moved out of my parents home over 15 years ago and would say that my parents might not agree with the way I live my life but they don't seem to have an issue with it. My mum is always very openly happy when something good happens to me or my only brother but my dad is more of the grumpy type who will just grunt and say nothing much. BUT on the other hand, I've heard him on the phone to relatives or friends boasting about my brother getting a promotion or new job or about me getting a large bonus so I know he's proud of us but just not the type to say it to our face. I know you didn't specifically ask for advice or comment about your situation but I would say that it seems your parents make more of a fuss about your sister because they see her as needing it more than you as she has make bad decisions in the past, maybe they think she needs special attention. With you it seems they are already very proud and know how capable you are hence them making comments about going for the bext promotion - which you should be pleased about - I know you feel differently so maybe say to your mum privately that you feel your dad sometimes make your successes seem less important than your sisters because he makes more of a deal about her and either your mum will suggest she talks with him on the quiet or she might say something similar to what I've said. Either way, I hope you feel better about things soon - personally I think both of your parents are fully aware of your potential and are already extremely proud of you :)
@subha12 (18452)
• India
17 Oct 08
actually in some cases my parents approve me.but recently i am seeing in many caes they do not apptove my choice. i have niot taken any stupid decuision or soemthing like that.
• United States
17 Oct 08
Well, this is your life. Forget about your parents. Yes, you need to be good and successful but what can they do to help you out. It's the life your living that makes who you are. One day your parent will be gone and who will you have. You will only have you.
• China
17 Oct 08
Hi BriNbai. I also have sisters and I an youngest one in the family. I think my parents are acting silimiar as yours, lol. I remember when I was a little girl at school, I got A for both of my subjects. Guess what my mom did? She cooked an egg for me, which is a tradition im my family and that means a lot. But since I am always beheaving good at school and they got used to that. They are more concerned that if I will fail and seldom approve of me like before. They just take it for granted that I should get very good performance. When I got a gradeB school awards in the university, my dad said I could have got a grade A if I put some more energy into study. And I was feeling low that time. I thought they would be happy for me, but... And when it comes to my sister, the whole situation is opposite and I used to think it's so unfair. But now, I am grown up and seem to understand it. Maybe as a parent, you need to be strategic and figure out a way that will fit the kid and can tag more potential from the kid.