First Meeting Dilemma

blush smiley - blushes when someone was met for the first time
Philippines
October 24, 2008 9:32pm CST
Okay, I have a problem dealing with people whom I meet for the first time, I am not really much of a shy type but whenever I just have meet someone, I usually find myself tongue-tied, can't think of anything to say or something. Can you share to me how do you do the "spark" of dealing someone whom you met for the first time ? Do you have dilemmas also when you just meet someone ? TIPS Please. I truly appreciate that !
4 people like this
19 responses
@kenchihi (121)
• Malaysia
25 Oct 08
Well, of course you need to dress properly when you meet someone for the first time so that you can feel more confident. Regarding the issues of can't think of anything to say. Well, you could try to observe anything unusual of the person, whether it is his/her looks, how he/she is dressed or anything really. Try to talk about things which could interest the person. Try to talk about what the other person wants to talk about and the person would be more than glad to talk to you. Ask about their past achievement, what did they do in life. I hope that helps :) cheers
1 person likes this
• Philippines
25 Oct 08
Yes, the suggestion is really of a help, sometimes, I failed to see how noticeable a person's personality is even during the first time, taking interest to them sincerely does take the attention of the one you are talking with. Thanks.
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
25 Oct 08
i have never had any trouble meeting people. i worked as a hairdresser & an antique dealer for years so i had to know how to meet the public. try to find a common ground w/them right at the first, don't let people intimadate u, they put there pants on the same way u do every morning, one leg at the time. just be yourself, if they like u fine if they don't that's their problem. just remember you are as good as they are, maybe better.
• Philippines
25 Oct 08
Thanks for your thoughts madam, that encourages me I hope I would be doing better the next time I met someone.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
25 Oct 08
i'll be counting on u to do that very thins. happy weekend!
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
25 Oct 08
I am extremely shy when I first meet people. I was more than a little shy when I was younger and yet still managed to have plenty of friends. People love to talk about themselves and their lives. I find that asking a few key questions here and there to get people talking works great. Smile often and listen with interest to what they say and eventually something will prompt you to tell a story yourself...you'll strike something in common. I very have any trouble.
• Philippines
25 Oct 08
I know you really do understand what I have been through , but like yourself, I do have a lot of friends to say, but its just during the clash of the first meeting, I really doesnt have anything to say, its just later in time, I realize we become close friends with the person.
@Opal26 (17690)
• United States
25 Oct 08
Hey torch! First of all I suggest that you just be yourself, that usually works the best! You seem to have a really good personality from what I have seen of you so you shouldn't have any type of problem! It would depend what kind of situation you are talking about here. Is it a personal meeting or a business type of meeting. If it is a personal meeting like I said you should have not trouble just being you! Just take it slow and act natuarally and take it slow and easy and you will be just fine. Let the other person take the lead sort of start the conversation first and you just sort of follow. Don't worry, you will be able to think of things to say. It will come to you naturally!
• Philippines
25 Oct 08
Thanks buddy for your confidence in me, the problem with me though is I don't know how to initiate a conversation much, its like I am awkward during first time...appreciate the advice.
• India
25 Oct 08
When youdo not know anythng about the person you are meeting, start off with exploratory questions. Where are you from? what do you do? where do you work? what work do you do? where did you do your schooling and college? Are you married? you can go on and on till you know the person better than yo canget down to specifics. all the best.
• Philippines
25 Oct 08
Well, I usually think of asking those kind of questions but I am hesitant most of the time, if it would be appropriate to ask, I would look for an opportunity to start a conversation though, thanks for your advice.
@n30wing (4771)
• Philippines
25 Oct 08
Usually I also have the same problem, but usually the only thing I can say to that person is HI hahaha then I let her/him start the conversation and just listen all the time. Well I'm a good listener. Just pretend that your okay and just be yourself. Start with a hello or hi then how are you. Just that! Have a nice day!
• Philippines
25 Oct 08
I did the same thing, smiles and saying hellos but beyond that I don't have anything to say, anyway, I would try to overcome this attitude, thanks for your thoughts.
@salonga (27955)
• Philippines
25 Oct 08
My dear just be yourself! Putting up a different personality will not be good if you are meeting a person for the first time. Don't try hard to please the person but be naturally polite. Smiling will relieve all tension. Start discussion as if he/she is a long time friend. Don't be shy because for all you know that person is shy also.
• Philippines
25 Oct 08
Well, you are partly right for the try to hard pleasing thing, but in some point, I don't have the ability to open and ask questions, I usually wait for the other person to start the conversation. I will try to really improve myself on this area. Appreciate the response dear friend.
@mtdewgurl74 (18118)
• United States
29 Oct 08
First thing to do is relax and try to find something you have in common that breaks the ice for discussion usually. Keep conversations light and easy and don't invade their comfort space and that should usually put both of you at ease and be relaxed. Talk about something you know about and like. I am pretty shy and quiet when first meeting someone. Men usually break the ice talking about sports,cars, and movies. Women usually if your a mom you talk about your kids,books,recipes,and other interest.
@tryxiness (4548)
• Philippines
27 Oct 08
I guess, bank on your strength, like you don't need to really impress a person, but converse with the person like any other person (say for example, think that the person is from the front desk, what usually comes up when you're dealing with this person) or when you need to ask for directions from strangers -- just be who you are and be confident of who you are.
• Philippines
26 Oct 08
Hi! If I find myself meeting someone for the first time on purpose, I always make it a point to know a little something about him or her first before I actually get to meet him/her personally. That way, I'll come prepared to be able to be at ease with the person as I try to know more about him/her, and vise versa. If it happens to be a sudden or accidental meeting, well, I always try to be my casual self, and try to encourage the other person to be the same too. That way, conversation becomes more easy and light. Definitely, too personal questions are a no no. So good luck to you torchablazed!
@omar0913 (943)
• Legaspi, Philippines
26 Oct 08
Everytime I met someone new, my first gesture was to smile and greet them. However to start a talk, I do'nt usualy do that, I observe first, and study how to start a talk that relates to their interest. But if I was the first to open up a discussion, I just follow my instinct, that way I'm not gonna do the adjusting but it's them.
@guybrush (4660)
• Australia
26 Oct 08
I don't meet very many new people these days - but I don't have trouble meeting them if it's only one or two people at once. I certainly couldn't get up on stage and give a speech to lots of people, though! I once read that if you feel tonguetied or intimidated when meeting a new person, just imagine them sitting on the toilet and you'll be fine!
@lynnemg (4539)
• United States
25 Oct 08
No matter what the situation, I find it best to just be myself. It can be a bit nerve-racking to meet someone new, especially a client, but I fell that honesty is the best policy, especially when it comes to who I am. Just relax and be yourself. You will be just fine.
@littleowl (7157)
25 Oct 08
I tend to ask the person about themselves and if they have family etcetc that way it tends to break the ice and leads into a laugh and joke etc...littleowl
@checapricorn (16066)
• United States
25 Oct 08
[i]Hi torch, I have no problem with that as long as I like the person on the first meeting, I can talk a lot and share topics but if I can sense that I am not comfortable with the person even in our first meeting, I am always hesitant also to talk a lot! ANyway, first you can start talking about place where she came from and try to share if you have any idea about it, her school and work, and then from every topic she is sharing, be interested and draw some questions about it or add more ideas so the conversation is spontaneous![/i]
@spyglass (37)
• Australia
25 Oct 08
yes, i have this problem too and it can be very hard to get over. when i meet someone for the first time, i usually become really awkward, not knowing what to do with my hands, and not daring to make eye contact, which is the most important. But i realised that if you just act like how you are around people whom you're close to, u can trick urself into thinking that ur comfortable. talk to that person like u've known him/her for years helps too. in other words, just let go of your insecurities. eventually u'll start feeling comfortable for real and have fun :) remember, if u show that ur relaxed, that person will relax too. this will make the atmosphere more friendly and comfortable.
@Margarit (3677)
• Philippines
25 Oct 08
hi torchablazed, Same here, i have that problems too up to now, but i try to overcome it by speaking first at the phone before meeting them personally so that you can feel atleast you knew him/her already through phone calls and you have some ideas what the person you are going to meet. And when you meet for the first time, try to act as your self, smile and say how are you.. try to be more friendly and be a good listener if he/she like talking or if he/she dont talk also, try to appreciate thing he/she has like 'oh you have a nice dress you look so lovely' but be careful when you do it, be honest for some may get offended if you do it in a lie.
• Philippines
25 Oct 08
I've had the same dilemma. I think we all go through that kind of things. I learned how to deal with people when I was in college after joining an organization. I learned that during first meetings we should just get to know the other person. Ask questions about the other person's interest. It always works. ;D Sooner or later you'll get comfortable with each other.
@ronaldinu (12440)
• Malta
25 Oct 08
I am kind of an introvert though I am a sociable person. That means I wont make the first step and I won't start talking to you unless you take the first step. I don't see anything wrong with you because I am your photocopy in this situation. © ronaldinu 2008