When There's No Books On Coping With 'Hatred'
By Brian
@wolfie34 (26771)
United Kingdom
November 11, 2008 10:56am CST
There are loads of self help books available, like Coping with anxiety, coping with bereavement, coping with anger, coping with stress etc...
But when I went to my big local library today I couldn't find ONE single book on coping with HATRED!
I went and asked at the desk but they looked it up and NOT ONE book could they find that deals with hatred or coping with hate
Is there really a big gap in the literary market for hatred?
Anger is NOT the same as Hatred is it, so it shouldn't be under the anger umbrella, it's an entirely different ISSUE entirely
Is this a good sign that not many people have a hatred problem? Is there no hatred in this world or do we wrap it up in something else? How do people deal with hatred?
Are we a nation that ignores hatred, refuses to admit it exists, refuses to admit we feel hate,
Hatred is a dirty word, but it DOES exist
So why aren't there books about Hatred?
How do you deal with Hatred?
Can you explain why there are so few books about Hatred?
7 people like this
17 responses
@AnnaB7 (756)
• United States
11 Nov 08
I think that people are afraid to admit they really do hate sometimes, and I think that your right there needs to be someone to write something about how to deal with and resolve the hate that at times infects are lives.
I am thinking of writing books maybe this will be a topic I could write about, not sure yet.
Also I am really thinking of writing books becaue lately I have been having trouble finding something to read that I am interested in, so I guess I can write a book myself.
Have you ever thought of doing that?
3 people like this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
11 Nov 08
That is a good question! I have written books in the past but haven't got a clue on how to get them published, it's also a highly competitive field and I don't know where to start to be honest, I do have hatred issues and I am very passionate about the subject. If I could read about other people having hatred issues it would also make me feel that I am not alone out there!
3 people like this
@hiddenwing (3719)
• China
13 Nov 08
Oh my! Great comment! I cound't believe you write this. Anyway, I cound't dream to become a writer or something though!
1 person likes this
@nannacroc (4049)
•
11 Nov 08
To be honest I haven't got the energy to hate anyone. Hating hurts the hater more than the hated. I am indifferent to lots of things and people but hatred is too draining. There's quite enough hate in the world without us adding to it.
Remember you're a British male and as such are not allowed any emotion.
Take care.
@nannacroc (4049)
•
11 Nov 08
Yes sometimes turning hate into indifference can be hard work but it's worth it.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
11 Nov 08
Hate is indeed hard work! It takes a lot of effort, energy and time to hate, and yes why am I wasting precious time on people that are insignificant, but when someone is in your face they cease to become insignificant, they are in your space. I wish I didn't have any emotions my friend makes life far more easier to cope with!
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (157664)
• United States
11 Nov 08
Wolfie, it is just that "Hatred" is such an unacceptable (but real) emotion. People are ashamed to admit that they hate someone, or something and so they roll it up as something else. Hatred and anger are not the same. Yes, all kinds of books exist about anger,I am not surprised that none exist about Hatred.
@GardenGerty (157664)
• United States
11 Nov 08
And when you cannot deal, it eats you alive. Right?
1 person likes this
@eaforeman6 (8979)
• United States
11 Nov 08
Wolfie, I wont let hatred into my heart. Hatred in your heart, will turn into a cancer and only pollute your soul. I know that you are bigger and better then that. We all know you are. We know that you are a good person and are above those who have offended you.You are too advanced for them and you are too intelligent for them to understand. They are very small , Wolfie, so you can pity them and put them over there and then close the emotional door and do not allow them to take away any of your joy. I say this because you know they are wrong. You know right from wrong, and honey they do not know the difference...Smile and let your wonderful personality shine through because many people care about you and they will have to live with the karma that will come back on them....@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
11 Nov 08
You are so right my friend, hatred is definitely a cancer and it is eating away at me, I am having therapy but it's like trying to climb a mountain, I get so far without it, then I slip back into my old ways. Because I have been so badly hurt in the past and bullied, used, manipulated, I use hatred as a shield, to protect me, stupid ain't it. But I push people away because I don't want to get hurt or rejected. I hate what people have done to me. I believe in karma for sure but I am just not a patient person to wait for the karma to reach them and I'd want to be a fly on the wall to watch when the karma comes back at them!
2 people like this
@eaforeman6 (8979)
• United States
11 Nov 08
Wolfie, if you want to get back at them, the best way to do that is to live well and be happy and make them so small and insignificant that you dont allow them a thought for the day!You have control of that and you always will. That is where you can win!Your the wolfie, and you rock! So who cares what they think ....They are just jealous because they know they arent the Wolfie!4 people like this
@AnnaB7 (756)
• United States
11 Nov 08
I think that it is good you are wanting to deal with your hate through writing, writing has been very helpful for me, Especially when I have very good and real reason to just not like someone or something.
If you keep all the hate inside it will cause you to stop enjoying anything in life imo.
Writing can help you come to terms with those who have hurt you. I know this for a fact,and it is better therapy than just talking to someone in my opinion because of the fact being that when you write down something you may think about it more than if you just open wide your mouth and go about telling everyone all your mind.
Writing can help you focus on the things that are important and mark out or cross out the things that are not so important or that need to be forgotten.
HTHS
1 person likes this
@Humbug25 (12540)
•
11 Nov 08
Hi ya wolfie34
I guess people assume that you can cope with hatred the same as there are no books (that I have ever come across) called coping with love. I agree with you that anger is totally different to hatred. I guess one can control one's hatred for someone whereas a lot of people find it hard to control anger as I am sure we all know!
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
11 Nov 08
Love is and will always be a mystery to me, it's like Pandora's Box! To be left bolted shut at all costs. Anger I can deal with because I go to the gym and I burn it off, hatred is so much different and far stronger than anger to deal with and control. Thank you my friend!
2 people like this
@hildas (3031)
•
11 Nov 08
I think you should make yourself some money and get a book published about this, if none excists. I think it would sell well also.
I think there is not too many books on it as a lot of hatred is centred around religion. (I am not getting into that one ever on here again).
Quote from Yoda star wars:
Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.
A child does not have to be taught how to be happy or the ways of love. It is fear, hatred, and prejudice that have to be taught. And from the condition of the world we can see that unfortunately there are some very good teachers.
@pumpkinjam (8539)
• United Kingdom
12 Nov 08
I can only assume that there are no books because no one really knows how to deal with hatred. Or it could be that writers don't want to deal with it. I must say that I, myself, would have trouble explaining to someone how they might deal with hatred. We can deal with stress, anger, etc. because everyone knows what they are and can describe their own personal experiences as well as understanding others. Hate, on the other hand, is not really something I suppose a lot of people would choose to talk about and is quite difficult to explain. I mean, with stress, you can tell people "get rid of the causes" and that would help a lot, assuming you could get rid of the causes. You can't do that with hate. Well, I suppose you could but not really. You could write a self-help book but I guess if you are looking for help then you don't know what help to offer otherwise you wouldn't be looking for it.
@ronaldinu (12422)
• Malta
1 Dec 08
What you said might be true. I read the gospels and in them I find the great lesson about how to cope with Hatred. Jesus showed us how to love not only your brethren but also to love those who inflict pain and suffering onto you. © ronaldinu 2008
@ronaldinu (12422)
• Malta
11 Nov 08
(First of all I hope you won't accuse me of having a holier than thou attitude since I am not that type of guy) There is a great manual which teaches you how to deal with Hatred. Take a look a the gospels. Jesus the son of god sets us an example how to deal with hatred. The only way to combat hatred is love. It is difficult to understand. It is when you love your enemy that you move on in your life. It's not easy and very hard to achieve. However I do believe that it is the way forward in a person's life.
There are few books about hatred because it is a difficult subject to tackle from a personal experience point of view.
© ronaldinu 2008
2 people like this
@Aussies2007 (5336)
• Australia
13 Nov 08
Hate is the opposite of love.
Both are very powerful emotions...
And both will make you do some stupid things.
Love brings on feelings of jealousy and betrayal.
While hate brings on feelings of anger and vengeance.
These days... I take love with a grain of salt.
Real love is about total commitment to each other... for the best and for the worse. If you don't get that... it is not love.
Hate on the other hand... I try to avoid it at all cost.
Hate will destroy your life.
It is eating you from the inside.
It is evil.
It will make you do things out of anger and revenge... which could land you in jail for the rest of your life.
The worst part about it... is that if you end up in jail... your tormentor wins. And that is enough good reason for me to give up the idea of hating anyone. I just ignore them... and have nothing to do with them.
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
13 Nov 08
You have a wonderful approach to life and I have noticed that you have delivered some excellent, sound responses which I should adopt, if I had a friend like you I think I wouldn't have travelled on so many rocky roads in life, I think I should take not so much a leaf but a big tome out of a book from you. Thank you!!!!!
@Aussies2007 (5336)
• Australia
14 Nov 08
Thanks for the compliment...
But you don't learn those things from a book.
You need to sit down and think about what is important to you.
What other people think of you does not matter.
There is only one thing which matter...
And that's what's makes you happy.
And the happier you become... the more... people will hate you.
Because most people are unhappy... and cannot stand the sight of someone who is happy. You have to ignore those people... rather than hating them back. Don't let them destroy your happiness... because that is what they are trying to do, out of jealousy.
1 person likes this
@maximax8 (31053)
• United Kingdom
30 Nov 08
Hello my friend Wolfie. I have seen many self helps books in my local library. A person is not afraid to admit they have anger management issues however most people wouldn't admit they have problems coping with hatred. Hatred is not a popular word and so there must be few books published about it. A person that has studied physiology might write a non-fiction book about anger, maybe they wouldn't choose to write about hate. That is because authors to be think of popularity. I think discussing our feelings is a way to explore hatred. I think it needs to be covered in a understanding way that doesn't hurt people's feelings.
@positiveminded1977 (7072)
• India
24 Nov 08
I haven't noticed this myself. But as far as I know, there is only one way to cope with hatred...forgive the offender. Now, I don't mean to sound soppy. But your hatred for the offender doesn't harm the offender in anyway; it only harms you. Hatred wrecks your peace of mind, your wellbeing, and your health. Hence the need to forgive. You forgive because you love yourself..it is as simple as that. And forgiveness doesn't mean forgetfulness. You very well remember what the offender did. The only difference is that you no longer feel pain because you have forgiven. If you examine your hatred carefully, you will realize that it is nothing but deep pain and disappointment. Forgiveness heals that pain and encourages you to love yourself. I hope I don't sound like a priest giving a sermon. LOL!! And I am not even religious. ;)
Cheers and happy mylotting
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
12 Nov 08
Hi wolfie! Well would you be interested in doing a collaberation?
I sure know a few things about Hatred and I think you do too!
So then what do you think? If there are no books out there then
there should definitely be a good market for some! I'm definitely
ready to do some writing, how bout you? Obviously there sure is
plenty of Hatred around. Just take a look! There is Hatred just
about everywhere! I don't know how anyone could have misse it!
At yet not one boot on the dreaded subject! I can't believe
what I am hearing! So this is our golden opportunity to fix
a most definite wrong! So what do you say friend? Do we start
writing or what? I will be waiting your replay!
@SpikeTheLobster (6403)
•
11 Nov 08
There are a lot of books about hatred, but most of them are heavier psychological tomes, rather than lighter self-help volumes. This is because (as far as I can figure it from my psychologist partner) hatred is the result of other conflicts and problems. It's not an emotion in its own right, if you see what I mean.
A book about coping with hatred would be much like coping with anxiety (fear breeds hatred), coping with bereavement (loss causes us to hate the reasons the person is gone), coping with stress (causes us to hate the boss) and so on. The question is 'why do you hate [insert thing here]', which then leads you to the book that you need.
But you're right, someone should put that book together!
2 people like this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
13 Nov 08
It depends on what you hate. For instance if it says for us to love everybody, well and good, but can you love Satan or the devil? Also if you love someone, can you also hate what he does, for instance if he is a murderer or a thief but he happens to be your brother? Can you love him yet hate what he does? And what if you have a friend who happens to prefer his own gender for romantic encounters, can you love hm and yet hate what he does?
It seems that it is expected if we love someone we should approve what he does and think he had a good reason or he could not help himself. That is why there are few or no books on hate because no one knows whether certain hates are acceptable or not and they do not want to make waves.
@underdogtoo (9579)
• Philippines
12 Nov 08
I like reading books. I would not read much less buy a book on hatred. I guess there is no money to be made there and this might be why no one has written a book on it. Cheers!!
@hiddenwing (3719)
• China
13 Nov 08
Everyone may hate someone! When I hate someone, I do hope I konw some magic just as the fairy tale goes. Then, the guy who I hate will be tortued by me so eaisy anyway. It feels damn good!
Once comes to the books on coping with hatred, I've no idea! Sorry about that! I hope someone who you hate sow the wind and reap the whirlwind.
Have a great day!
