Handling Friends who borrowed money...

Philippines
November 21, 2008 2:33am CST
How do you handle situation where a friend confide to you having some difficulty in finances then asking you to lend Him some amount of money big enough to handle? According to some theory, lend to friend what you can afford to lose...And by experience, i believe it is true. Many of not so closed friends or shall i say acquintances, borrows without thinking of paying you back in return. So I just gave them certain amount not to hurt me financially. But if a true friends borrows from me, I lend her the full amount if I can accommodate it, or at least half of the amount needed to help her/him. Usually my true friends do remember their obligations and usually pay as promised...How about you how do handle things like this?
6 people like this
44 responses
@gemini_rose (16193)
22 Nov 08
To be honest with you I hate lending people money simply because if they do not pay it back when they say it causes big problems. I have never lent any friend money even when they asked not because I am mean but simply because I could never afford to be without that money and I was not daft enough to lend money that I did not have just in case I never got it back. I think the only people I would lend money too would be my children and my parents and only if it was spare because then it would not matter to me too much if they did not give it back when they said because they are my family.
1 person likes this
@Sir_bobby88 (8245)
• Singapore
22 Nov 08
Well normally i would not lend my friend money unless i have lots of spare cash yea . If you wanna borrow money to somebody , don't expect to get it back or else you will feel very bad with that person owing you something yea .
1 person likes this
@calyxus (827)
• Philippines
22 Nov 08
Lending money is easy; the difficult part is collecting it. With a friend, the collection process is more complicated. But I think it also depends on your level of friendship. If your friendship is very deep, I think you will not find it hard to tell your friend to pay you, you can say it as a joke, for you know that it will not hurt your friend. But my principle is that, don't lend money in the first place if you are not sure it will be repaid.
@vibbsdod (24)
• India
22 Nov 08
even i agreee tht it is very difficult to ask them back the money what we have given them.. even he/she is ur close friend, but the actual thing to be done is to sit and talk in way which will not hurt either one of you means you have to talk practically and sometimes even ur short of money you try help out ur friends who are in more need of money thts where we go sentimental we have to be practical and explain.. on the other hand if you want ur money back we normally hesitate to ask again and again thinking tht it will spoil our image on the other hand we wont realize tht hw bad he is with his finance becoz only money will be wondering infront of our eyes..
1 person likes this
@jewilim (495)
• Philippines
22 Nov 08
I think there are really some people who are using friendship as a reason for you to lend them some money. It is not really your fault if you would not lend them money bu there are even times that they would make you come out as the bad person because you would not lend them some money. I think some people as just taking it as an opprotunity to borrow a big amount and not pay you back. Are there are even times that when you have lend them something they would either say they would pay you when they already have the money until it reaches years for you to wait. I really hate those kind of people because it seems that you are only their friend if you have money. I guess there are really times where we would know who are real friends are.
1 person likes this
@janet8893 (283)
• China
22 Nov 08
many people think that money is the underlying threaten of friendship. and we also heard a lot about two good friends turned into enermy because of money. so majority of us won't lent much to them. but what if they were really in hot water. standing in our own situation, we should depend on finance to give them a hand, no matter how little it is,they would remember in heart, once you were the friend who help him in his worst period of life.
1 person likes this
@salonga (28020)
• Philippines
22 Nov 08
I could give as much as I can afford even until it hurts to any of my loved ones and good friends who really is in dire need. I don't mind losing the money and not being paid back for as long as I know the one I helped really deserved it. However, if the person borrowing is already taking advantage then she can't get anything more from once she returns to borrow again. I don't tolerate people who do not know how to payback even if they have the capacity. However, I can give and give and give till I have something to give to any loved one or friends who are needing and worthy of financial assistance. It does not matter if they can't return the money. I know the Lord has a wonderful way of blessing me in many wonderful ways for whatever good deed I'd do for His glory.
1 person likes this
@katrhina23 (1282)
• United States
22 Nov 08
Most of the time, I tell my friends that we both are in the same situation. so the person would most likely to stop telling me about his/her financial problems. He/she might end up telling e if i want to boow money from him/her. LOL.
1 person likes this
@jambi462 (4598)
• United States
22 Nov 08
Will if their really your friend then think about what's more important: their friendship or some green pieces of paper? If they're that good of friends then you shouldn't mind giving them money or doing anything for them.
1 person likes this
@Zezloler (497)
• United Arab Emirates
21 Nov 08
I don't mind lending out a little money to my friends, but I don't like when they ask for a lot and don't bother to pay back. This is why I don't really think that lending friends money is a good thing, especially if they can't give it to you. No matter how generous you are, you'll probably still be a little angered that you lent them money and that they're doing nothing back for you. I really don't like lending money to people who then spend it on something they don't need, and don't pay back. I don't mind lending money, even if it's in large amounts, if, for example, I was in a mall with a friend and he or she needed some money to help cover her costs for going to the cinema or else we wouldn't be able to enter. Be careful when lending money to people though, especially when you don't really conisder them your friends and it's a large amount. =P
1 person likes this
@mipen2006 (5528)
• Australia
21 Nov 08
Lending money to family or friends is a risky business. More friends are lost due to a debt than any other reason. Having said that some people are 100% reliable, and could get into temporary financial strife. You are the best one to judge whether you should lend them any money. The same goes for family.
@subha12 (18453)
• India
25 Nov 08
at times it can be very problematic. i have seen many friends just do not bother to pay back the money. one of my so called best friend used to take this advantage so often. I had to remind him again and again to pay back.
@KrauseHome (35037)
• United States
24 Nov 08
Well, when I load money to a Friend, I usually have to keep it small as that is usually all I can afford, and then I will count it as a gift, and usually do not expect to get it back as well. There are times when that person might remember and either repay me, or bring me something good in return. But I feel that is from the goodness of our hearts to help others and if you give to someone, you will be Blessed. Maybe not in getting the $$ back, but in other ways for sure.
• Philippines
24 Nov 08
Usually, I follow a simple rule when helping a friend financially: If we agreed that the money is borrowed and my friend promises to pay, then that friend must pay me back. If the amount is given without any condition, then I won't expect any return from it. I don't want to ruin a good friendship just because of money. But on the brighter side, I know a true friend if he keeps his word for it. So, if a friend promises to pay me on a certain date, I shall respect his word and wait if he truly means it. If doesn't pay on the agreed date or even offer a single excuse for it, then I will doubt his sincerity as a friend because I just don't want to be taken for granted.
@cortney09 (1346)
• United States
23 Nov 08
I have never had money to be able to loan to friends or family. If I did though, I wouldn't loan a large amount. I feel like it is just not a good idea for friendships or family, when you loan large amounts of money. I think that it can cause a lot of problems if they don't pay back the money or if they don't pay it back in a reasonable amount of time.
@patweber (78)
• United States
23 Nov 08
Well the bible says, if you want a guide to go by, when you lend friends or family money don't expect it back. Instead have the mindset to just give it as a gift. I can't recall ever lending a friend money. I have either given family money or invested with family. On the giving family money, I do just give it without expecting it back. If I get it back great; it's like money unexpectedly. When I invest it I do expect I have made a wise decision and will be rewarded.
@Erssyl (617)
• Philippines
23 Nov 08
I have lost many friends because of this borrowing money episodes.They only remember me when they need money.And they never remember me to pay back.Yes that theory is true with me.I lend them what I can afford to loose.It is good a few came back to pay.Now I'm very careful of people who make me an acquaintance just to borrow money.
@ShepherdSpy (8562)
• Omagh, Northern Ireland
23 Nov 08
There's a saying-" if You lend somebody £20 and never hear from them again,it was probably worth it"! Lending money to friends is a tricky issue,and can put stresses on your relationship with them if the timespan of the "loan" stretches longer than what would be considered polite for them to return the money,and not have you resorting to dropping hints for it's return!generally I don't have much to lend in the first place..
• United States
23 Nov 08
I don't loan money to anyone. Besides the fact that I don't have enough to lend, I trust only a very few to pay it back. If you have enough, just give them what they need and if they pay you back, great. If they don't pay you back, well you didn't expect it anyway.
@money1 (107)
• United States
22 Nov 08
I never let friends borrow money because it can cause major problems if a friend is in need and i have money to spare i'll give it to them and say don't bother you never have to pay me back. Sometimes they are so apprecitive they want to pay you back.