Have you ever fought with your SO or spouse over which family

@ersmommy1 (12600)
United States
November 24, 2008 9:20am CST
to spend the holidays with? Is that a normal thing? My hubby and I try and take turns. Most of my family is 1300 miles away. So we do 1 holiday with his family. Then we do one on our own. Making our own holiday traditions. Do you trade off?
1 person likes this
7 responses
@mtdewgurl74 (18118)
• United States
20 Jan 09
Well my husband and me argue about it all the time. My husband doesn't join in no family holidays or birthdays with my family unless they are here at my home but then he sometimes gripes about it. My family wants to have him join in on the holidays and maybe go to their home but he won't. He drives me batty sometimes because of it. But he will go to his family home for the holiday or birthday.
@coffeebreak (17820)
• United States
27 Nov 08
No. It was never an option -his family never wanted us with them so it wasn't a hard choice to make! They were always to buzy going to others homes that there just wasn't time for us. At the time it really bothered me as I am a home/family body person. But as the years went by, I learned that it was to my advantage - they weren't very much fun to be around anyway!!
• United States
26 Nov 08
Yes, we have had some disagreements. I was encouraged to 'start my own family traditions' by some friends of mine. Originally, as my family was nearby and hers wasn't, it seemed logical just to spend hollidays at my family. However, as things are, we have aggreed to split the hollidays. If her mother ever moves close, I think splitting the hollidays might need to be revisited, but at the moment that isn't an issue. My family can usually count on Thanksgiving or Christmas in any given year. Sometimes the holliday we've selected gets flipped because of when other family members are going to make it.
• Philippines
24 Nov 08
we spend christmas with my family and the new year's with his...no big fights about where to go, it's more of arguements on how long we stay each time we go...
@bunnybon7 (38391)
• Holiday, Florida
24 Nov 08
when i was married sometimes we would argue over it, until the kids came, then it was at home and maybe just stop by different family members houses for a while.
@katsmeow1213 (29043)
• United States
24 Nov 08
I've never had this problem. My own family is complicated, and it was very complicated as a child. I'd have 2 dinners, one with my real mom, then later in the afternoon I'd go to my foster mom's. After I moved out of my real mother's house, I chose not to speak to her anymore. She's been completely out of my life for years. My foster mom isn't big on holidays. Sometimes her son would come over, but he'd never bring his family, just him. Sometimes she'd cook a large meal, but usually she wouldn't. It was usually just her, her roommate, and sometimes her son, so she saw it pointless to cook a big meal, and she was fine with that. We honestly wouldn't even visit on Christmas. If she bought the children any gifts, we would get them early if we visited before Christmas, or she'd send them to us for the kids to open at home Christmas morning. Hubby's family used to fight amongst themselves as to where to have dinners. When his sister was first married she insisted on having holidays at her house, and the rest of the family had a big problem with that the first year. After that we sort of settled into the routine of going there, but then one Thanksgiving she decided she wasn't doing dinner until 7pm because one of her in laws couldn't make it until then. We didn't want to go there that late, so we did dinner at home. It wasn't fun trying to find a turkey Thanksgiving morning. That same year for Christmas she decided to serve lunch meat sandwiches, and that was the biggest disappointment. We decided at that point we'd do dinners at our house from now on, and whoever wanted to come was welcome. By the following Thanksgiving his sister was divorced anyways, and she hasn't even spoken to her parents since, so now it's up to us to do all the holiday meals.
@lilybug (21148)
• United States
24 Nov 08
I normally spend Thanksgiving with whoever shows up! This year I am going to my brothers house for Thanksgiving instead of people coming down here. I have family members that trade off like that too.