Fling. com

I'm a fraction confused. How did you happen to find his profile? But that aside, I think you have a load of trouble coming. How old was this profile of his, like in the past year, 2 years? Recently? It might only be window-shopping at the moment, but pardon my cynicism, I'm a man and I've been there, sooner or later someone appeals to you and you go into the shop. Maybe evcn buy. Sorry to be a pessimist. Lash

I responded to your follow up post, but I am wondering what made you look at fling to begin with? also if he wont tell folks you are married, then you really might want to get therapy soon. you need some serious support to hlep you through all this. Be Well

I wouldn't be feeling very confident right now if I were you. There is a range of people, though. Your husband is clearly not as comfortable with this as some men are, but his not telling everyone that you are married might just mean that he is quieter about it. Is he telling people that you guys are just dating, or has he simply never mentioned it? I'd ask him to delete the profile on fling.com.

Wow- is he hiding that he's married because that's a real problem, come to think of it I would think he would want to shout it from the roof tops. I hate to say this because I am big on marriage and don't really believe in divorce but I think the two of you need to have a long talk with a counseler and I think it needs to happen very soon. Looking on a dating website, registering, not talking about the marriage- those are all bad things and I would want answers- I would also be very hurt, mad, and sad by the whole thing. I wish you the best of luck and hope that you can find the answers your looking for and much happiness in the future.

so this was recent? I would definitely NOT be happy about this. There is absolutely no excuse for him to have placed a profile on there, regardless of if he paid for it or not. Just because he has not told people doesn't mean he doesn't want to be with you. Sometimes it just doesn't come up in conversation. I would sit down and talk to him about it. Tell him that you are hurt and do not appreciate it. Let him know how you feel.

Awe hon, first of all i'm sorry that this is happening. It sounds to me that he isn't being honest and also thinking of possibilities of cheating after only 2 months of marriage! This needs to fixed soon so your marriage can continue to be happy and communicating openly. This might be too personal to ask but has he ever cheated on you, when you were dating?

I would probably be pissed especially since he isn't telling people you are married. Just because he didnt' send any messages doesn't mean he won't or hasn't thought about it. I would be really upset. Have you asked him why he signed up in the first place? Lying to you about it isn't helping the situation either. How did you find his profile??

I would be ticked!! I might go as far as to tell him if he going to have a profile on there maybe you should too...see if this gets a reaction from him.

Its a hard thing when the trust that you have for someone so special is tested. I think instead of getting angry with him you should talk to him normally, and find out when exactly the profile was created, and actually find out why it was created. I think at this point its not so much that the profile exists that should cause your anger it should be the fact that he lied to you. Lets be honest most people have a myspace account or something out there that allows others to contact you. But when your married to someone they should be open with their feelings, and be able to tell you why exactly he created the account. It may not be that he is looking to do anything bad, its possible that he was just bored one day and wanted to connect with other people to talk. I know its a bad excuse but it is possible that his only bad doing was lying to you because he did not know how you would react. This is a test of your trust for eachother. Sit with him, and really find out what caused his actions.

I'd be angry myself. My hubby and I have been together for 13 yrs. Married 7 of those. I can't imagine he would do anything to injur our trust. I'd have a heart to heart discussion with him. But be careful. He may ask you why you were looking on the site. That could backfire. So be prepared for that question.

If you are being exclusive as most people in marriage are then I would be very concerned. People do not put their profiles on these sites just to look. The fact that he had not paid for membership does not matter as he may well have been waiting to see if anyone winked at him. On most dating sites you can send a smile or a wink to someone without using any money. You only need money to email them. He did not put the profile there by accident. Do you know if it is the only site he has been on and is it recent or could it have been there from years ago. The fact that you have been married for only 2 months means that it could have been set up before you married. Were you living together for 3 years before you married? If so then I would be concerned, especially as he did not tell you about it. There should be no secrets in a marriage. If the profile pre-dated the marriage he should have deleted it.

WOW...I would be pretty angry to put it mildly. I'm not sure how I would handle that or if I would even handle it well.

I would not be worried about the fact that he was on the website but the fact that he lied to you. I would also be worried that he has not told people that you are married. Is he ashamed of you? Or has he got something to hide? You must find out what he is up to. You cannot go on like this. I am going to request you as a friend so that we can talk some more if you want. I am worried about what is happening to you.

It hurts when your love and loyalty will be tested by a person you trust most in life. It is but natural when you will be in some sort of shock. Did a bee sting you or it felt much more than that? I could never imagine why husbands go to such sights. Is he trying to test your patience or he is just acting immaturely? I think its best to evaluate what is going on with your lovelife. Every woman deserves to be treated with fairly. Warn him for that. Be frank with how you feel. Your heart knows best. Love is patient and kind but never provoke it or we will all face the consequence.

If he said he didn't fill it out my question would be how did it get there then. The very most important thing in any relationship is honesty and communication. It sounds like he is lacking in both. My biggest question is why has he not let people know that you two are married. You two need to sit down without any distractions and have a long serious talk. It sounds like your husband is very immature and not really ready to tie the knot. Although it is a bit late you could salvage the marriage if he is ready to open up and discuss what the problems are.

If you want my honest opinion from one married woman of four years to the next lady like yourself, I would be a little plucked myself. I really don't know your husband well or about the openness that you share. First I believe that communication is key in any good relationship. Maybe you need to press him more about this and see what he says and if he acts too defensive. Maybe you are thinking wrong or maybe your instincts could be on target. I would just stay guarded for now and keep your eye out. Good luck.