I shouted at my boss...

@gr8life (6251)
Malaysia
December 23, 2008 8:55pm CST
Yes, I did that yesterday. I was very angry and irritated at him. In fact, I tried to be very patient and never go against him though sometimes he is too much. He really made me mad yesterday. He called me into his office when I arrived in the morning. He was speaking in his language which he knows very well that I don't understand, and kept scolding me. I asked once what's the problem but he kept talking to me rudely and throwing the document right in front of me. So, I took it and checked the document. I found the cause of the problem and so, I immediately called the customer. I was on the phone with the customer when out of sudden, he came from my behind and rudely took the document on my hand and shouted at me. I was shocked at first but felt very angry with his rude manner. I put the customer on hold, and I shouted back at him! The rest of my colleagues including my big boss and another section head, just quiet.... I think I made all of them shocked to death too Well, the best thing is that... my boss was taken by surprise too! He didn't say a word. I left my table and went straight to the restroom to cool down. I came back to my place and pretended that nothing happened. My big boss who was there called me into his room and asked me what actually happened. I told him everything and oh, yes...the rest of my colleagues supported my 'one time mad act'! He deserved it. A day before that, another colleague argued with him because of the same reason - he was very impatient and rude. In fact he isn't a bad boss but sometimes, he just makes us feel so irritated. I pitied him but yesterday, I really didn't want to see his face or talk to him at all! I didn't even say sorry to him. After a few hours later, he called me again and discussed with me about another work related matter. I was the center of the gossip this morning. Whatever it is, I feel really relief. At least by now, my boss should know that I have my own limit and he can't step over the limit. Hah! Good for him!
3 people like this
23 responses
• Canada
24 Dec 08
I commend you for standing your ground though this is a sad situation for you. Bosses are bosses and they are only as human as they allow themselves to be. Sometimes power makes a person forget who they really should be. I hope you see better times ahead and don't guilt yourself for standing up for yourself ever. No job is worth that.
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
24 Dec 08
Hello granite_butterfly, Thanks for the word. I did feel guilty after shouting at him and I felt bad for not being able to control my anger. I have been working here for more than 10 years. He is the worst boss that I ever encountered. He doesn't speak English and always talk to me in Japanese and unfortunately, I don't speak that language. Most of the time my Japanese colleagues will help me out to translate but he is very amazing person. He doesn't speak the language but when he hears you say a word and he understands that particular word, he will jump to the conclusion. Many times, he scolded me for other people fault and I couldn't defend myself as I don't understand what he said. He doesn't even listen to your explanation and that is the worst part. I tried not to be emotional but he really tested my patience. Well, sorry that I wasn't able to control my temper yesterday!
• United States
25 Dec 08
When I worked (for the City government), everyone tried to be respectful and polite to each other. However, a couple of incidents happened where I was hollered at. Once, it was by a female Administrator, who stood in the center of the area giving me a tongue-lashing. I asked her if we could take it into her office, since we shouldn't be airing our dirty laundry where everyone could hear. I still tried to make sure I was not the one hollering, just trying to defend myself by talking loudly to make a point. Another time, I accused someone of sexually harassing me, which was a firing offense (not for the man, but for the female employee). My female office manager got so upset she not only shouted but stamped her feet. I told her "Look what you are doing to yourself. Calm down and I'll tell you my side of it." Then there was the "New Boss From Hell" - he purposely taunted me for every little error on my part. He even hollered at me while I was taking a call from a client! I didn't say anything to him - just one day got up and marched into the Administrator's office, crying; he made me explain what was going on. So I was glad when this new Boss was finally put in his place. I do hope you don't get so emotional next time. Remember, show you are more professional than your Boss, even if you think he/she is stupid.
1 person likes this
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
6 Jan 09
Hello Janet, Thanks for your advice. I don't feel proud that I shouted at him. I think it is not a good way too to lose your temper. I still have respect for him as my boss but I really hope the incident taught us something good.
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
8 Jan 09
Hello JanetBRudman, Thanks for your advice. I don't really proud of what I did. If I can turn back time, I would find another way to solve the problem rather than 'showing off' that I am more stupid than him!
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
9 Jan 09
Hello J anet, Sorry for the double comments. I responded twice from office and home computer! Forgot to delete the notification in my e-mail! Hope you don't mind...
@ladybug565 (2216)
• United States
24 Dec 08
Good for you. I felt like yelling at my boss last night but I really need my job. He has been on my case for 3 weeks now and I have no idea why, but last night he went off and I didnt even do what he was yelling about. I was so mad. My company is very small and usually it feels like family but it has been rough these past few weeks. my coworker said he has been talking alot about the economy and the effect it is having on the business and maybee that is why but I say if that is the case he wouldnt just be taking it out on me.
1 person likes this
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
24 Dec 08
Hello ladybug565, You're right. If he is not happy with something, why needs to vent his anger at someone else, right? That was what happened to me. I think he was not in a good mood as he was being called by my big boss after receiving a complaint from another colleague a day before that. I won't say a word if it is my fault, if I made a mistake. I am willing to be scolded, to be yelled at if I know pretty sure that it's my mistake. I was helping him yesterday by trying to solve the problem and he scolded, throwing things at me. I really mentioned the word stupid right to his face...and I really didn't realize that I shouted very loud that I startled all my colleagues and the big boss!
• United States
24 Dec 08
wow, he was throwing stuff at you that is really bad! I hope things get better for you there. Have a good christmas.
@sanuanu (11235)
• India
25 Dec 08
Good for you too. I never liked my boss but also never go against them or shouted back at them. You would surely be a part of gossip in my office too. You will be notified by my colleagues here in my office.
1 person likes this
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
6 Jan 09
Hello sanuanu, Yes, I agree with you. Patience has its limit and maybe I already reached that limit. Good thing is, now he knows that I can yell too and bad thing is that, it is not a proper way to deal with this type of boss.
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
5 Jan 09
Hello sanuanu, I never think of going against my boss. If you see me personally, I am not a type of person who will even raise my voice. I think he was too much that day that I lost my temper too. My colleagues got a shock too as they never expect me to shout at him! One of them had a gut to ask me this, "Where did you get the power to shout at him huh?"
@sanuanu (11235)
• India
6 Jan 09
That was my question too, "Where did...." but it is in our own soul. We just need to find him. As a famouse quote says, "There is an animal in every men, we need to find it as sometimes, it is very helpful". Not always though.
1 person likes this
@pandapig8 (362)
• Philippines
24 Dec 08
It's good that you mde your point but it would have been better if you apologized since he is still after all your boss... by shouting at him, you have crossed your boundaries. You are an employee and he is the boss... That's how it's supposed to be...
1 person likes this
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
5 Jan 09
Hello pandapig8, Thanks for your advice. I know I had crossed the boundaries but he was just too much that I lost my temper too. I have been working for 10 years and this is the first time, I have a terrible boss. Not to say that I never worked with a difficult boss, but I think he as a boss should try to understand his staff too. I am not blaming him 100% as I know I might chose a better way rather than shouting back at him. It's over anyway... He is quite good and polite nowadays. Maybe he knew that he crossed the boundaries too
• Philippines
24 Dec 08
not that what you did was bad but, it would've been better if you talked to him still with respect...
1 person likes this
@sixclix (677)
• Philippines
24 Dec 08
Well, good for you. We all have to stand up and defend our dignity and honor sometimes. And by the way, make sure you have another job waiting......just in case. ;p
1 person likes this
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
24 Dec 08
Hello sixclix, If this kind of boss, I don't mind being sacked Well! Need to think about the economy crises too, right? I can't be a full time housewife - that is just not for me. So, I need a back up and I have a full back up He is not the owner of the company, just one of the staff whose rank is one level upper than me. I got my bonuses and increment a day before the shouting incident and I bet, if he dares to rate me down he will have a very hard time responding to his superior too He was good to me today and more polite too...
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
24 Dec 08
Hello sixclix, Well, I don't have hard feelings towards him anymore. Alright! Just forgive and forget. In fact we talked and joked like usual today but I can sense that he was very careful when he talked to me. I will get a new boss to replace him next March and I hope the new one will be better If not, again I will vent my anger here Maybe next time I will not shout, I should look for a different way to show my anger
@sixclix (677)
• Philippines
24 Dec 08
that's great. So while you're at it,make faces at him when he looks your way!
1 person likes this
@spoiled311 (5500)
• Philippines
8 Jan 09
hi gr8life! well, i have been shouted at and scolded by my bosses before but not without reason. and well, when it happened once, it happened. the thing was never brought up again. so yeah, i think bosses like that should sometimes be slapped in the face just so they will realize what they are doing wrong. some people are very talented but are not people-persons. they just drive workers crazy. thankfully, when i became manager one time, none of my employees had talked back at me,. but they did shout at the manager who followed after me. i know that she was really rude, because she was also rude to me, take care and God bless you! :-)
1 person likes this
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
9 Jan 09
Hello spoiled311, I never been scolded or shouted with harsh words. My younger brother had more bad experience compares to me. He was shouted at with four letter words every day for 19 days that he managed to 'hang on' in the company. Most staff who had resigned and talked to him about the boss told him that they came to an extent that they're so afraid to come to the office because of the boss and dragged themselves every morning just to be in the office. The boss has too great expectations from the staff and he was the 21st Assistant Marketing Manager who resigned in a year. The company pays high salary to its staff and they have higher expectations on them of course.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
8 Jan 09
I can't say as I blame you a bit. Just because he is the boss, it is not right to treat you rudely. There is no excuse for it at all. To yell at you is just wrong but while you are on the phone with a customer?? Well, lets hope that he got the message and will be more careful how he speaks in the future. It is good that the bigger boss called you in to hear your side of the story but I'd have to wonder why he wasn't called in and reprimanded. Sounds like you are not the only one he has pulled this on. He should not be allowed to get away with it.
1 person likes this
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
9 Jan 09
Hello sid556, He isn't a bad boss but sometimes he has an attitude problem as he doesn't speak English (he is a Japanese) and becomes easily impatient when someone tries to translate something for him. He doesn't want to listen to the whole sentence and comes to a conclusion without listening clearly. That's the reason he is not popular with the staff. I was consulting one of my colleagues who got really tensioned with his attitude problem a day before the incident and what a bad example I showed to others when I myself, shouted at him when I lost my temper too!
• India
24 Dec 08
It had to happen. You did a very wise thing. Some people are bullies as long as they know tht they cn get away with it. the day they know that they will get a taste of their own music, they start behaving. if you had kept quiet, he would have continuted to behave in the same manner. now he will be careful when dealing with you. Good you took out your anger at the opportune time.
1 person likes this
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
24 Dec 08
Hello mercuryman3a, I hope I don't have to do it again - not anymore. I don't like it when I lost my temper especially during my office hours. He was just overboard and I couldn't take it anymore. I stayed calm for the past two year and I think that is more than enough for him to try to understand and respect others. If he dares to rate my work negatively, I will write a very long love letter to the higher management and complain about his rudeness and terrible attitudes. Good thing is that, he is more polite and talk to me carefully after the incident. At least, he learned something good...
1 person likes this
• Philippines
17 Feb 09
shouting is one way of showing disrespect to your boss..right? but if you shout due to "the truth" matters then it is just allright well in your case, that seems to be alright so that your boss will learned as to where your limit stop..and this things shouldn't be happen in the future...hope you'll gonna be okay with your boss today..and hoping that your boss wouldn't fire you for this matter.
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
23 Mar 09
Hello worldbestwriter2008, Nothing really serious happened after that day. We are in a good terms and as usual, sometimes we do argue but he doesn't dare to cross the border anymore. That is the good thing I guess...
@j47lee (740)
• Canada
24 Dec 08
lol... i had arguements with my boss too... gosh.. sometimes he frustrates me to the point that i just want to quit..lol.... my boss is an ill tempered unreasonable person... he gets angry for no reason... and takes his frustration out at us.. which isnt fair... anyway at last i couldnt stand it.. and quit my job.. hehehe..
1 person likes this
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
5 Jan 09
Hello j47lee, That will be the last thing I would like to do. If I know that I made no mistakes, I won't surrender by quitting my job. He should know and realize the situation. I worked for many difficult bosses but he was the first boss, I really shouted at... Maybe he deserves it...a Christmas gift from me Oh, God! I don't feel guilty after shouting at him!
• China
25 Dec 08
oh good! really need great courges to do this, sometimes the bossman or the superiors are really rude even it's not your mistake, and the big boss even helped those rude men to shouted to the empliee, good luck~
1 person likes this
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
5 Jan 09
Hello celebratelifeh, I didn't feel satisfied with what I did to him but I still think that the incident really made him open his eyes widely. He is not supposed to shout, yell or scold his staff for no reason. I would accept it if it's my mistake but I was helping him and got a rude shock because of his attitude. That's the reason that made me shouted at him. Oh, well it's over! I hope New Year will bring good things for me and I don't have to experience bad incidents anymore. Hopefully...
• China
25 Dec 08
Yes, you are great!huh... I believe so, because you got the right time to talk agaist your boss, I think you did the right thing. We should have say no matter what happened, if not we should stand up to defend ourself. I was not yelled at my boss but I was got yelled because I did wrong, I just talk to the boss peacefully and let my boss calm down because I think anger did no good to any problems, we should find a way to solve the problem happened not just yelling.
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
5 Jan 09
Hello felixsun2007, I agree with you - Anger did no good to any problems. I am not proud that I shouted at him but I think he should listen and try to understand his staff better. I am not the first who got scolded and faced his rude behavior. He has been here for three years and is going back to his country this March. I have been very patient with him and I guess, he was too much that day that I lost my temper too. If I can turn back the time, I wish that I have another way to encounter his rude attitude instead of shouting at him!
@usercom (125)
• Indonesia
24 Dec 08
you should be calm although he is a bad boss
1 person likes this
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
24 Dec 08
Hello usercom, I have been trying to understand his madness for the past two year. Many times he scolded, shouted at me for no reason and I didn't say a word though I felt really bad for being treated like that. I can accept it if I know I made mistakes but most of the time, he needs my help to solve certain problem. Ask me nicely, instruct me politely, I will definitely do it happily but not shouting or yelling at me for no apparent reason. I am not new there and have been working for 1o years and he should think of that too.
• India
24 Dec 08
Yeah, exactly good for him. Sometimes bosses are just too much to handle and if we don’t show our teeth once in a while, they really take us for a ride everytime they feel like. They don’t even bother to chk whose fault it was. As if, just being the boss gives them the right to do anything. But frankly speaking, I don’t think you should repeat it. In this time of recession, jobs are quite difficult to come by.
1 person likes this
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
24 Dec 08
Hello sudiptacallingu, Thanks for your advice. I personally don't think that this is the right way - to lose your temper and cannot control your emotion. But I just couldn't stand him anymore. My temperature boiled up when he took the document from my hand and threw it in front of me, while I was talking on the phone with a customer. I tried to be patient thinking that I only need to work with him for another three month (I change boss every two year and he is the fifth. The next new boss will come next March and hopefully, he is more friendly than his predecessor) Well, I am not going to shout again! Maybe next time if something happens, I should come here and vent my anger. Nobody gets hurt, right?
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
24 Dec 08
Good for you. There have been alot of times that I wanted to do the same thing but I was afraid to get fired. I am so lgad to be my own boss now.
1 person likes this
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
24 Dec 08
Hello stephcjh, I was really crazy yesterday. I, myself didn't expect that I will shout at him. I almost throw things to him too but I quickly tried to cool down and went to the restroom. It's still alright if he shouted at me but being shouted at twice for no reason (that mistake in fact, was not my mistake) and throwing something right in front of me while I was talking with customer, that's really just too much. How do you want to work with someone who doesn't speak English at all (not a big deal) but doesn't want to listen or understand and always shout at you in his own language when he knows very well you can't defend your self (as you don't understand why he scolds you) and when he realizes his mistake, will ask you why you didn't tell him earlier about it? Oh, my! I try to understand since he came here two years ago....
@debbie47 (13)
• United States
24 Dec 08
Its not nice to yell at the boss - that shows no respect.They have a job & they just do what they think is best. Makes you an better employee. I have never yell or etc at my employees... but many has no respect for the boss.But than again the boss should be nice also...he should have handle it in a better way..I think - listen -than decide what I am doing before I open my mouth. One lady yelled & was telling me how to do things & I ended up firing her for that...she just showed no respect for me..but than agin she was young & had no clue
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
24 Dec 08
Hello debbie47, I admit that it is not good to be emotional while doing your job or losing your temper or show no respect to others. But, it doesn't mean he can disrespect others just because he is one level up. I had worked with many difficult bosses before and I never raised my voice, not even once. My colleagues and the big boss were surprised as they never heard me shouting or raising my voice at others before and I have been working there for the past 10 years. I don't have a single complaint from customers and always try to understand his difficult attitude. He can change his words in a split second. He will ask you to do the task and after a few minutes, he will ask you why you do that. He will tell you to decide on certain matter and at other time, he scolds you for making a decision on your own on the same matter. Whatever it is, we act professionally. He was more polite today and I talked to him as usual.
1 person likes this
@mokbul (616)
• Singapore
24 Dec 08
I believe that you may have done the right thing. Probably you were pushed to the wall to act like this. Your boss may have been in bad mood from some earlier events. Hope it will not affect your year end bonus and performance appraisal.
1 person likes this
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
24 Dec 08
Hello mokbul, Maybe I act at the right time I got my bonuses and increment a day before the incident. Anyway, I am not directly under him. He does the appraisal but the big boss who will decide the final decision. I think he was not in a good mood as he was being called by the big boss as one of my colleagues complained about him a day earlier.
• China
24 Dec 08
Great job, really. I guess that needs quite a lot of courage and your boss must had behaved really bad. Things are not so good as we think and may go wrong anyway, then, what should we do? Just follow them? NO. I think we should do something and you just did what I think, that's cool. However, that can not be happened many times cause... You know that. Anyhow, good luck.
1 person likes this
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
24 Dec 08
Hello gxtiantian, Thanks for your advice. Well, I can assure you it won't happen many times (this is the first time I lost my temper and shouted at other in my 15 years of working) He has this unique (?) attitude. If he doesn't understand, he doesn't let us explain and doesn't bother to listen. At the end when he realized that it's a mistake, he will scold us for not pointing it out earlier. In fact, the mistake was not mine and I did ask him twice what's the problem when he started to show his angry face at me. I was helping him clarifying the matter by calling the customer and I got shouted at and scolded by him for no reason. Anyway, he was polite to me today and I just acted like nothing bad happened between us.
• Romania
24 Dec 08
If people want respect they have to respect you as a person too, It doesn't matter if your the boss or not if you treat people bad you deserve to be treated bad. I believe these kind of incidents can actualy bring people closer as he knows now that you have a limit and that there are consequences for his acting.
1 person likes this
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
24 Dec 08
Hello RetardedWilly, If you want people to respect you, you need to respect people and I do believe in that. I respect him until yesterday where I couldn't control my temper. I admit it is not good to yell at people especially your superior but I do believe he has no valid reason to lose his temper at me at the first place. Why he needs to destroy my mood when I just started my working day for something that can be solved in a split second? He supposed to let me do it first and explain to him but instead, he was just going overboard. I think he realized he made a mistake and was being good and more polite today...